Ballerinamom2girls

Socially isolated

19 posts in this topic

I'll just ask here so if someone else searches it out it will all be one thread.

 

Have any of you ladies seen improvement in the anxiety/ mutism since this was last addressed?

 

My daughter also has selective mutism. She'll nod or shake her head but has maybe said 3 words to anyone in her class.

 

The thing is though, she absolutely loves ballet and is super excited before class and always happy after class. I had the SO come to me to ask if she was enjoying herself since she's so quiet. I assured her that she is over the moon, but I worry that she may project different feelings than she actually feels.

 

We've been advised to not pressure her to talk since that can make the issue worse, but I'm wondering if anyone has devised a dance specific tool to help your kiddo open up more and not get brushed aside.

 

Especially because we will have a bit of a weird situation next year with our move, I just don't want her to be misinterpreted.

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NewBalletMom - I find over the years it helped for me to privately email any adults my DD and DS may work with and just give them a brief explanation of the "silent situation". This helps to set the correct expectations instead of leaving people wondering and jumping to the wrong conclusions about your child. My DD's dance teacher can now tell when DD is "shouting on the inside" because she so happy about what she is doing/accomplishing in dance. I hope you will find as the years go on, life has a way of pushing them past their inability to speak. Case in point - DD did extremely well recently at a local dance competition. Her face was absolutely radiant as she stood at the front of the stage and received her awards. When the time came for her to state her name, her choreographer's name, and if there was anyone she wanted to thank, I silently prayed. She confidently took the mike and, very eloquently, answered in full, complete, multiple sentences. The people around me who know her were absolutely shocked. They have rarely heard her speak and were just sure she would not. Dance is her only motivation. She knows if she doesn't speak up, put herself at the forefront, and force herself to be what she needs to be on stage, she will never succeed. She will get passed over and people will run over her - she's had it happen several times. She is determined to not let that happen anymore and struggles against it every day. The confidence of doing well helps push her then into speaking more and more into her life outside of dance. DS has far less issue with speaking in public and has been praised in the current phase of his dance life for his drive and stoic focus. They can overcome if they find their motivation.

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Thank you so much for your input, dinkalina. It's so inspiring to hear that your daughter's love of dance has helped her overcome her struggles with communication. Speaking on stage can be challenging for anyone, but I imagine you were cheering like crazy inside when she was able to do it so eloquently.

 

It sounds like she has a wonderful instructor who's able to "hear" her enthusiasm even when she isn't able to voice it.

 

I didn't tell my daughter's teachers beforehand this year, but I think in the future I will. It sounds like that's worked really well for your kids. And yes, I can see how being quiet can really show focus and drive too, so maybe there are some benefits to being the "quiet one". She'll probably never struggle with being chatty at the barre!

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my DD is 12 and the rest of her classmates are 14-18. She is fortunate in that the kids in her classes see her talent and encourage her a lot. she is included in the activities of the 14 year olds and I monitor her interactions. I also make certain that she keeps a social life outside of ballet with her school friends so that she does not feel isolated from them too.

 

it can be hard being the youngest in the class, but somebody has to be the youngest. Ballerinamom2girls, let you DD know that she is with the older kids for a reason, keep working hard and she's not the only one. keep encouraging her

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