DoubtfulGuest

Changing Studios

25 posts in this topic

Hi AB'sMom!

 

That is so apt.

 

I wound up saying that DD's needs will be met by the new studio, but that I really hope they are able to implement the changes for other kids in her level who would likely be interested in increasing their training. After nearly three days of crafting polite "thanks, but no thanks" responses, I think I've been clear enough, and I will probably let any further communications go unread.

 

For anyone reading this down the line, I managed to confine the conversation to email (rather than phone or in person) by stating that I would be too emotional, which is probably true. I do care very deeply for everyone involved.

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AB'smom, completely agree.

 

Great advice from everyone here. You all literally stiffen my spine as I read.

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when we chose to leave DD's home studio, we kept to the positives and told the truth... ie. You have been instrumental in helping DD get this far, You have invested so much and we are so thankful, You will always be in our thoughts and an integral part of her journey etc etc. It was VERY hard and VERY emotional for all, but definitely needed and for the best. These things are never easy. Hugs to everyone having to face this fork in the proverbial road. It is a good thing, and you are being a good mama for exploring the options that best fit your dancer. :clapping:

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Any thoughts on how to approach a dancer who feels that she is ready for more, knows she needs more, but is still very attached to her home studio?

 

Edited to add: Oops, I wandered into the under 13 group. Topic is still appropriate, and I appreciate the feedback!

Edited by Noodles

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Noodles - My daughter was on the fence about the move to her current ballet school until she took a placement class. She was ready to quit the old studio that night (she had a performance commitment to keep so she couldn't) - perhaps your daughter may find similar motivation after a placement or trial class at a new location? Two things got my daughter excited at that placement class - the students in class were warm and welcoming and the talent level exceeded her expectations. She knew that was where she wanted to train. One year out and she hasn't looked back.

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My daughter also just needed one placement class to motivate her to make the switch.

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Completely agree that placement classes can be eye opening. They give a glimpse into the studio, the style and the personality of faculty and students. DD's first SI was also eye opening because it showed opportunities for improvement in technique training and exposed her to other dancers her age who were highly motivated to do their best.

Most importantly, the dancer needs to be ready to make a change.

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I thought my daughter should move on two years ago. Last summer she did not go away for a summer program, but attended five different local programs, including the "advanced intensive" at her regular school. I didn't realize how many programs were available within a 90 minute drive! She had some great experiences and met two teachers she really liked. Still not ready to move on, she returned to her school in the fall.

 

By Christmas she was "antsy." She was interested in taking classes with the teachers she'd met last summer. She was open to taking trial classes at other schools in the area, something she's resisted for two years. Starting in January she cut back at her school and has been taking classes regularly with the teachers she met last summer. She's been at workshops, trial classes, and weekend intensives. She is committed to spring performances but has several options she's considering for fall. Recently she told me that it is hard to keep taking classes at her school now that she's had so many amazing teachers elsewhere.

 

I read somewhere on this board that is best not to push the dancer to change, but just keep exposing them to other teachers, methods, and schools until they come to the conclusion it is time to move on. Excellent advice in our situation. Good luck to you and your dancer, Noodles!

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I'm dealing with the same exact thing right now, I have emailed her teacher of 8 years but my works just don't seem to come out right.  I am hoping with leaving my daughters old studio that one day we can still drop ins and classes without her teacher feeling hurt about us leaving.  Its hard when your studio has been the same one for so very long and you develop a very deep relationship.

 

Hugs!

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Quoting Mom2K8 -- from another other thread where we got off topic

DoubtfulGuest,

Thank you so very much for your reply. This is just what I had hoped to hear. DD and I stopped by the studio over the Easter long weekend and had a great chat with the AD. All DD kept saying in the car was when can I start mommy. She wants to leave her current program now and start with SCB as soon as possible. We can't actually do that due to conflicts with her flamenco class and because I have a thing about following through with our commitments. However we may be able to add the Wednesday prep class to DD's schedule for the remainder of the term. She has a two week intensive at NBC (I feel the need to be clear that this is not the NBS program - people often confuse the two) early in the summer and then we hope to join the full prep program in September.

DD is 7 and is very serious about ballet and has big dreams - she will be 8 in late fall this year. This past year in our current program (new for us this year) has turned out to be a "lost year" for DD - it took just one session with her stretching coach to realize this. This was followed by the second term parent viewing class where there had been no advancement from the first term  - DD was totally bored - it was written all over her face.The joy that is usually there was gone. I knew I had to do something. I am trying very hard not to beat myself up over making assumptions and not asking the right questions about her program at the outset. I am fairly certain that DD will have to work hard to catch up to her peers at SCB. She has passion, a strong work ethic, natural ability and amazing musicality and feeling in her dancing, but she needs the proper training to focus it and mold it.  I am very grateful I hired a private stretch coach  as it was our experience working with her that made me fully realize what DD should have been receiving at her current school but was not - not even close. It also showed both mom and daughter what she is capable of. When I think of where she would be now if I had made different, more informed  decisions.....but I refuse to go there. Forward only - no looking back.

DD and I had a serious chat this evening about moving studios and I asked her to tell me why she wanted to move. She explained that in addition to being bored she wanted to be challenged the way her stretch coach challenges her; that she wants to learn more and to advance. "Mommy, I want to go to a ballet school where ballet is as important to the other kids as it is to me - I want to be with serious students". From what you describe I think we may have found her new ballet home.

I saw the pic of your DD9 in her tutu - she looks so adorable but more importantly so happy! DD is coming in to take the Saturday prep level class in two weeks (DD will be on a ballet break from her home program that week for the Assemble Internationale 2017) so we may very well meet in person - which would be lovely! Especially since I cannot send/receive PMs yet as I am too much of a newbie.

We are both looking forward to what the AD has to say and to see what plan she will develop for DD.

Finally, very special thanks for your posts here - it was this discussion thread and your posts that lead me to CSB. In all of my slightly panicked research to find a new options for DD, CSB never came up in my searches. Not only does the program seem to be exactly what we were looking for, but it is a 10 minute drive from home.

Thanks again, I look forward to meeting you in person at the studio in the coming weeks. 

(Apologies in advance for typos - this single, logistically challenged single mama is up way past her bedtime!)

Mom2K8

 

hi Mom2K8!

That is so great your DD is feeling good about a change. It was obvious for my kid right from the first day, too, and her mood keeps getting better as she can see her progress. Losing the joy is so scary, and especially when they're so young. It's completely normal for kids to fade in and out of activities, but when you've had a kid who has done nothing but want more dance... finding them a home is really important. Your daughter's words are so familiar to me. 

Please don't beat yourself up. When they're as little as ours are, so much will change very, very quickly -- and forward is a great direction to be looking! I'm sure your DD will hit her stride again very soon. If it helps, just a week or two ago, the AD asked my DD if she'd "never stretched before" because her progress is so dramatic in such a short time. She was never taught the "how" of stretching, but kids are so amazing and learn so quickly. Every studio has a slightly different focus, and I'm willing to bet there will be some things that are new to your DD, and some where she'll have had plenty of grounding. My DD was nervous coming out of Cecchetti into Vaganova, but the new style really suits her, and she is taking to it like a duck to water.

That's wonderful news about the possibility of Wednesday PREP -- I think a lot of kids begin by adding a class or two while they wait out the end of the year. We only made the switch when we did because I couldn't fathom sending DD to Europe for three weeks with her old studio when they would have known she wasn't registered for next year. 

I'll stick around a week from Saturday and introduce myself when you're in for sure! Exciting stuff!

DG 

 

 

 

Edited by DoubtfulGuest
General clunkiness

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