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"Tights are for girls!" Phase Help!?!


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#1 dancingmom

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Posted 11 June 2009 - 01:09 PM

Help! I think my son has reached the "Tights are for girls" phase. Frankly, I'm not sure what the big deal is but this is the low down... So far the dress code for boys has been black bike shorts a white fitted tshirt or leotard and black or white ballet shoes. Soon all the kids will participate in concert given every year. This year my son will be required to wear white tights along with the 3 other boys in class as part of their costume for the show. The studio director is going to require boys to wear tights to next class so they get used to wearing them before the show and require them to be worn by all boys in the studio for regular classes. I think it's a good idea boys wear tights to class because eventually they will have to anyway so why not introduce them now. My son is not to happy about this change. A couple days ago after class my son overheard my conversation w\ another parent about buying tights for our sons and what brands are the best since choices for boys tights are limited, etc... After we got into the car and were driving home my son asked if he was going to have to wear tights. I told him yes it was going to be part of his costume and required by the studio. His response was "tights are for girls! I don't want to wear them". I explained to him that it wasnt a big deal and that in ballet boys and girls wear tights, all the other boys are going to wear them, and the men in the company wear them. He still didnt seem to thrilled but I think he'll probably try them on. So at lunchtime I went shopping at the dance store and bought the required tights for the recital which are footed white Capezio's and a couple other pairs of danskins which looked thick. I also bought a few pairs of cheaper tights at target too. I figure the more choices the better I did search the boards on recommendations for tights and people seem to think mondor tights worked best but the only color I could find was suntan? People are right its hard to find tights that are opaque enough for boys! I guess I never really thought about the level of thickness before. What I'm planning to do is just have him wear bike shorts over the tights so it will cover up. After looking at most of the postings about tights on this site I don't see how the rest of the parents got around the "Tights are for girls" phase? What if he refuses to wear them? I don't want to force it on him. He doesn't have class till Monday so I figured I'll try to have him wear them for a few hours this weekend. I have talked to his sister about encouraging him to wear them and I was thinking about asking the director if one of the guys in the company could come in to class and explain the importance of wearing tights to the class. Is this a good idea? Any help I could get or similar experiences someone would like to share would be great!! Thanks for the help!

#2 Clara 76

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Posted 11 June 2009 - 01:43 PM

First off, I wouldn't place any boys in white tights at all- they are for principal dancers in my opinion. I have my boys wear jazz leggings which are much thicker than tights: Adult Ankle Length Leggings He should also wear a dance belt, a nude colored one under the tights. He may need 2 pair of white tights to achieve the opaqueness.

Be that as it may, another thing that boys need to understand is that many sports require men to wear 'tights', but they're not called tights. They're called "skins" or "compression pants", but they're tights! Football, cycling, running, and speed skating all call for men's tights. Mondor started in the skating business!!

"A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor"- (Currently poking Poseidon in the netherworld with his trident)

"Christian Louboutins are uncomfortable, but I screamed the first time I put on a pointe shoe." Mila Kunis


#3 dancingmom

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Posted 11 June 2009 - 03:43 PM

First off, I wouldn't place any boys in white tights at all- they are for principal dancers in my opinion. I have my boys wear jazz leggings which are much thicker than tights: Adult Ankle Length Leggings He should also wear a dance belt, a nude colored one under the tights. He may need 2 pair of white tights to achieve the opaqueness.

Be that as it may, another thing that boys need to understand is that many sports require men to wear 'tights', but they're not called tights. They're called "skins" or "compression pants", but they're tights! Football, cycling, running, and speed skating all call for men's tights. Mondor started in the skating business!!


Thanks for the advice Clara. I will def. emphases tights are worn by athletes he really likes sports so that is a good idea. I agree white tights should be for principals but this is a kids recital and there costumes look cute. Boys are wearing a red tunic soldiers costume with blue pants that end at the knees so the white tights work with the costume. As far as white tights for class he'll probably wear black most of the time. I did get him a dance belt and I guess the studio prefers footed or convertible tights but ankle tights should do just fine too! Thanks for the advice!

#4 sam7

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Posted 11 June 2009 - 04:12 PM

..

#5 angiered

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Posted 11 June 2009 - 04:42 PM

We told my DS that tights are just like jeans and every other kind of garment. There are tights for boys and tights for girls, just like there are jeans for boys and jeans for girls.

THEN, we made sure to buy him BOYS tights. They really are different. More like leggings.

#6 Ericka

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Posted 12 June 2009 - 03:05 PM

We never had an issue because A) my boys started wearing them very young for performances (before they were old enough that they were too concerned about it) and :D I always got tights that were clearly boys tights (usually the Bal Togs leggings when they were little). They didn't look or feel like the girls' tights at all, so they just seemed to accept that they were part of the drill. The tough part is that if you don't have a local shop with them in stock, it takes some time to get them, so last minute shopping often isn't an option.

If you have time, my recommendation is to get thick boys' tights or leggings. If you don't have time, my recommendation is to say you're sorry you couldn't get things worked out in time for this performance, ask will he please just get by with whatever tights you can get for the moment (and remind him he'll have pants on over them), and then promise that you'll procure the other tights as soon as possible.

#7 dancingmom

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Posted 12 June 2009 - 05:34 PM

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions! I totally agree that girls tights don't work well for boys. Here is the problem my son is around 43 pounds and 3'4". Its super hard to find tights specifically made for boys we've looked everywhere. The only tights I found that might work are bodywrappers at river edge dancewear. http://www.riversedg...datibybobw.html I think we are going to try a small. If the bodywrappers dont work the tights I bought should be fine. At this age it shouldn't make to much of a difference for the performance and we are going to double up the girls tights for class till he's able to fit into regular boys sizes. Another problem is leggings are not footed? I personally think the costume they are going to wear would not look right without feet so I understand the logic behind the tights. The kids also need the tights for another piece after so white socks wont work either. Oh well I like the jeans example! I'm def going to approach it that way. Boys wear jeans and Girls wear jeans theres a little different but not to much! I'll let you all know how I make out!

#8 Ericka

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Posted 12 June 2009 - 07:18 PM

If you're already putting in an order with River's Edge, they also carry the boy's Bal Togs footed leggings. Did you check the size chart for those? It's been long enough ago that I can't remember at what height the little boys start to fit into those tights, but they do tend to run a tad on the small side and it looks like they're at least comparable to, or maybe even a bit smaller than the Bodywrappers. Might be worth it to grab a pair of each and see what works best (and what he likes). I figure it's worth throwing some money at the issue to make sure you're finding something that he likes. I know mine felt very secure in the Bal Togs leggings...and as an additional bonus, they seem to stand up to boy wear and tear well. My boys haven't had the endless list of requests for dancewear and accessories that it seems like the girls want, so I don't begrudge spending a little extra to make sure they really like their basics. A little indulgence goes a long way towards making them feel comfortable.

#9 ToThePointe

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Posted 12 June 2009 - 09:41 PM

I renamed tights for boys "Full Footed Compression Pants." :D

Just remind your son that in several sports men wear the equivalent to tights.... Football (with pads underneath), Skiing, Cycling, Wrestling, etc.

As far as which brand works best... I can't answer.
Just because you can do the math doesn't mean you can teach it.

#10 Clara 76

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Posted 13 June 2009 - 11:18 AM

Yes, ToThePointe!!!! Were you the one who brought that up originally??? I knew one of our members did but I didn't have luck with the search engine because I couldn't remember the term you used....

"A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor"- (Currently poking Poseidon in the netherworld with his trident)

"Christian Louboutins are uncomfortable, but I screamed the first time I put on a pointe shoe." Mila Kunis


#11 ToThePointe

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Posted 14 June 2009 - 06:30 PM

Here is the link to the other topic :thumbsup:

Link
Just because you can do the math doesn't mean you can teach it.

#12 cheetah

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Posted 15 June 2009 - 06:15 AM

Just a few things to add:

The BalTogs work great, but the cotton tend to get stretched out and sag by the end of class. So go for a smaller size. Doubling "girls" tights works well in class, but he may start to complain about how compressed and restricted his feet feel with two pair of tights over his toes. There's also the issue of panty liners in some of the girls' tights. At that size and age, DS was allowed to wear black leggings which can often be found in the girls' departments. Your son doesn't need to know where they're bought, though it never bothered my DS. Sports stores now stock a good bit of this type of item for the younger boys, especially Under Armour brand. Our studio had no problem with leggings, recognizing that tights for boys were hard to come by. They did require they wear socks underneath - white if they wore white shoes and black if they wore black shoes. Tights were still required for performances, but by then it was OK - and it was seen as just part of the costume.

We never had to address the "tights are for girls" question directly. But DS understood that the reasoning behind tights was to allow the teacher to see how the muscles moved. Sometimes a direct explanation - regardless of the wording you choose for the garment - helps them understand the "why", which is enough to stop any complaining or concerns.

#13 angiered

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Posted 16 June 2009 - 10:50 AM

Here is the problem my son is around 43 pounds and 3'4". Its super hard to find tights specifically made for boys we've looked everywhere.


We have a couple of boys who are just too little for boys tights. For the shows, we get a unitar with a full foot, and just cut it off and give it a waist band. Works great and unitards can be purchased in ANY size!

#14 davidg

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Posted 18 June 2009 - 05:14 PM

None of the tights I wore as a kid were made specifically as boy's tights. A lot of it comes down to how a product is marketed.

#15 Francesca

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Posted 09 September 2009 - 01:56 AM

Hi dancingmom,

I was just wondering how you got on with the white tights issue?

My son is almost six and started ballet just before Christmas.

I am a quite broadminded mum and my son has a very open and enquiring mind and I felt it would be really nice if he was to give
ballet a try, so many advantages, co-ordination etc, and so much better than just spending Saturday mornings in front of the TV.

When I first sugested it he did not seem very keen but some weeks later he mentioned it to me and decided to give it a try, I had no
intention of making him do anything he did not want to do.

I had already enquired at a small local dance school very close to our home and was told by the teacher that he would most welcome.
I had not given any thought at all on what he should wear and so I asked the teacher, she is really nice and always very helpful, she
said that as he was the only boy in his ballet class, he could wear black ballet shoes with anything that was comfortable and suggested
just a tee shirt and shorts if he did not want to wear tights. At this point I felt I had been very lucky to have a son who wanted to try ballet
so I did not mention tights. Anyway the good news was that he seemed to take to ballet very quickly and always looks forward to Saturday
mornings.

The school always puts on show for family and friends every year and a few weeks ago the performance of Cinderella took place,
although my son had not been dancing for very long, the teacher did not want him to feel left out so she asked both of us if he would like
to take part as a "mouse" I was of course delighted but had not given any thought about costumes etc.

So when I asked the teacher she told me that she wanted six mice and the costumes would be all the same, white ballet shoes, white tights
a turtleneck leotard with attached mouse tail and a small hood with attached mouse ears! and added I would only need to buy the ballet
shoes and tights as she would provide the leotard and hood with ears. So it was at this point that the tights issue arose, my son was
delighted to be asked to be a mouse but the costume had not been mentioned to him.

After two or three days I decided to talk to him about it but first went shopping to buy the shoes and tights and had the same thoughts and
problems that you had, whist the shoes were not a problem, I bought a couple of pairs of white tights for him which are really girls tights
and wondered if he would even try wearing them. The coming Saturday was to be a dress rehersal and time was running out to talk to
him about his costume.

In the end, I phoned his teacher and she advised me to introduce him to the complete costume as soon as posible so I
collected the leotard and hood from her later that same day, then went to pick up my son from school, easy! Now for the hard bit, or so I thought.
I got him home sat him down a told him that I had got a surprise for him and showed him the costume, to my great relief he asked if he could
try wearing it there and then and was not at all bothered so I had been so worried for nothing!

The costume was a bit girly but so cute infact the real problem was getting him to change back out of it. Both the rehearsals and show were a great
sucess and he really enjoyed it, although a couple of the girls giggled when the first saw him in his mouse costume.
A week or so after the show he asked if he could wear tights in class on Saturdays so I asked him if he preferred the tights to wearing shorts
and socks and bought him a pair a black footed tights which he now wears in his ballet class.
Would be interested to know how you and your son got on with your tights issue.