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Decision for 17 year old DD....


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#1 CYBallet11

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 02:33 PM

I am having a hard time helping my DD decide on a summer program. Her year-round school is encouraging her to go to one school which happens to be her first choice for SI and Company. Though she has been accepted to this SI each year, no scholarships have ever been offered and she has not attended this school before. She has qualified for F.A. though which I applied for. It is new and exciting for DD.

Another school, which she has attended for several years, has given her a full merit scholarship for the SI, a rarity for this school. I feel like this program knows her and has already invested in her. This school would be her 2nd choice and same with the company.

She only has one more summer left before she will need to be asked to stay on in a PD program. Though the 1st school and company are wonderful so is the 2nd choice. I don't feel like 4 weeks this summer is enough for the 1st school/company to really get to know her. I almost feel she should go to the 2nd choice where I feel she is more appreciated and more likely, at least at this point, to be asked to stay for the company. Her current year-round school has had more students go into the 1st company and feel that is where she should go. I am so confused but my DD needs to commit somewhere or we will miss getting a spot in either program. This seems so important for her future. I don't want to guide her the wrong way!!

HELP!!! :ermm:

#2 Victoria Leigh

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 07:22 PM

Welcome to Ballet Talk for Dancers, CYBallet11. :)

Have any of the other dancers from her school received scholarships for the 1st choice program? Do you know if that program does offer scholarships at all? My first thought is to go where you know they really like you. A full scholarship means a lot, and it does sound like they would be happy to have her come back. I usually say to go with your teacher's recommendation when you can, but in this case, not so sure. :shrug:

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#3 CYBallet11

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 09:13 PM

Thank you Victoria! I have referred to Ballet Talk for information for many years. But this is my first post as I am truly stumped. :blink: Thank goodness there is a place with so much great information and advice!!

Yes, I know of students that have received scholarships to the 1st choice. I would guess the 2 schools are about even in what they give out in scholarships. I just feel that there are SOOOO many amazing dancers and with these being two top companies, my DD needs to be where she is known and liked. The competition is just too fierce, in my mind, to start fresh with a school/company at 17, especially when the SI is only 4 weeks.....

OK, so it is obvious which one I am leaning towards. My DD would be fine with 2nd choice and I believe our year-round directors would be a little disappointed, but OK. Ultimately it is my DD that has to live with the outcome of how this plays out. Do I encourage her to follow her 1st choice or should I share my opinion on things with her? See....just writing this out helped me to come to the real question! So hard to know what will be best in the long run!!!!! :o

#4 Victoria Leigh

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 10:46 PM

I wish we could answer that question for you, but we really can't. You and she have to just talk together about the pros and cons, and come to your decisions, hopefully, together. But she does need to hear how you feel about it, too. You are listening to her, and she needs to listen to you. Weigh it all out, write down the pros and cons if necessary. But there is really no one else who can make this decision for you, as none of us can know what would be best. We don't know the dancer, the teachers, or the companies involved. But, it does seem to me that company 2 has shown the interest, and that is a plus. But keep in mind that nothing is written in stone. If this summer's decision is not right, she still has another summer.

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LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS...
...IT'S LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN! [Unknown]


#5 CYBallet11

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 10:54 PM

You are absolutely right. I will do just that. Thank you for the pep talk. Sometimes I feel like I am too close to the situation to see it all clearly. It is scary at times with big decisions like this with such tight deadlines!! :deal:

Thanks again!

#6 Victoria Leigh

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 10:58 PM

You are most welcome, CYBallet11.Glad that it helped, but, you do have a tough situation there, so I wish you the very best of luck. Let us know how it works out. :)

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LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS...
...IT'S LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN! [Unknown]


#7 SeahorseMom

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 05:23 PM

My DD is in a somewhat similar situation but not quite like yours. It's hard at a time like this to realize, but you should be thankful to be in such a quandry! My DD did a couple of "just to see what happens" auditions this year and got accepted everywhere. We did not expect that. She has improved so much over that last year it is hard to judge. But one audition she attended (because it was held at her school but was not on our list) offered her a full scholarship. On top of that the auditioner (who is the school director) told our AD he really liked her. During the audition he didn't even realize that she was one of AD's students! All of the SIs have associated companies. DD will be a senior next year (currently 16 and turning 17 in 2 months). DD decided that she wants to attend the scholarship school. We have 2 ADs - one is very enthusiastic about the decision and the other would prefer she go to the more "prestigious" SI/Company. But we are fortunate that the ADs are both very down to earth and we know that DD's decision woud never be held against her. It was a bit agonizing as DD and I did not agree on everything, but I think DD will be more energized and confident where she is going which is important for her personality and her needs right now. It is so hard to know what to do, but if they get into a Company at all I feel that it is a success! The competition is fierce out there!

#8 CYBallet11

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 06:11 PM

Thanks SeahorseMom. It is nice to hear that I am not the only one facing a similar situation. I agree that getting into any company is a huge success! Please let me know how summer goes for your DD. :)

My DD and I have sat down and talked about the pros and cons. She has decided to go with the 2nd option with the scholarship. She agrees that it will be better in the long run and the excitement of going to a new program with a few of her friends just isn't as important. I let it be her decision in the end. She is a smart kid! We will let the ADs know of her decision on Tuesday. Right or wrong, I know a lot of time and attention was put into the decision so I am relaxing a bit with the knowledge that we made every effort to think of everything and make the best choice we could at this time. Now it is up to her on what she makes of it! :wink:

#9 CYBallet11

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Posted 28 April 2012 - 01:16 AM

Fun update! 1st choice program sent us an email shortly after my last post and gave her tuition and room & board!! She is beyond excited and is ready for a wonderful summer!!! All that stress but I am glad things worked out the way they did! :D It is truly amazing the opportunities that ballet has afforded my kids!!