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Ballet Talk for Dancers
balletgirlsmadre

Surviving while child is away

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Guest Saji

No, she's not in the dorms.....She is too young. She's staying with a very dear friend, whose daughter is also in ballet. There are a lot of host families that keep the younger ones. Because of my work schedule, it works out better that she stays there during the week, and I pick her up on fridays. The questions are fine, I don't mind. I talk to her between her breaks and before she goes to bed. I think she tolerates me well in that aspect. Both children are only children and this is when they get to really be little girls, and play. God has really blessed us with that family. It was too hectic last year making the daily commute for her.

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dancindaughters

Saji, I'm glad to hear she is staying with friends. I'm sure you miss her very much, but it sounds like she's having fun playing with her buddy.

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Guest Saji

As promised, a lot of little girls, and 1 boy got hugs, foot and body massages, fruit, and the use of cell phones to call home. Maybe one of them were yours out there. If so...the children are doing well. Some are tired and sore. The mothers and fathers who are there on a daily bases are keeping an eye out for all the "babies" and the older ones too. Mom and dad..hang in there, and let's pray that they are all having fun.

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balletgirlsmadre

Thanks for the words of encouragement from all of you - no matter whether its your child's 1st or 6th time away, I know we all miss them immensely. We've talked to dd briefly twice and she sounds busy, happy and healthy. It sounds like a positive first experience which gives me a lot of comfort. She had a pas de deux class today - her first! - and really enjoyed the experience. Something she would not be able to get at her studio at home.

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Haley

This post has been really helpful to me. I'm 4,000 miles away from my 12-year old, and I miss her terribly. At the same time, she is very happy with many friends and a great ballet experience (CPYB), AND she is demonstrating great judgment over many things, including being able to get herself up on time, eating breakfast every morning, and sewing her ballet shoes, all without help or prodding from me. So, like many of the posts, I'm so happy with her happiness and development, but also sad that she's not here. I think we're doing our job, moms and dads, by allowing them this experience because it builds their self-confidence and allows them to explore their dance passion. It doesn't mean we don't miss them, though.

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Balletmom
What does get easier is the amount of time it takes before you don't feel like your liver is being ripped out without benefit of anesthesia

 

Well, that idea worked every summer up until now. I need the anesthesia again this year. After 6 years of doing this, it hit me. I just got back from dropping off DD and every sentimental song on the radio had me in tears. But DD will be a Senior next year and I'm already in "loss mode". On the way home, it hit me that next summer if and when she goes away, she will not be returning home in 5 weeks but staying. (wherever that ends up being) :P

 

vj

 

Momof3, I couldn't figure out why I was having a bit more of a hard time this summer until I reread this thread and your post. I'm in the same situation as you. My daughter and I are so close, I'm afraid I've violated one of the rules of parenting, the one that goes, "Don't try to be your child's friend..." Oh well, must as well admit it, she's also my very, very good friend, and I miss her! She's having a great time at her SI, having fun in her dorm, enjoying the freedom of the college campus she's on, and getting a lot from her classes. I'm not letting on at all how badly I miss her when we talk on the phone, I figure it would not be fair, so please forgive me for this little vent:

 

Me? I'm hating the sauna I'm living in--the south in the summer with temperature and humidity both in the 90's, with hundreds (no, make it thousands) of mosquitos thrown in for effect has killed my plans for long walks and bike rides after work, as well as the yard work I normally love to do. Tried playing tennis a couple of weeks ago, but ended up nauseous, light-headed, and embarrassed at how I couldn't take the heat (or was it the level of play I couldn't take?) I really wish I were at the beach, but my extended family quit their traditional late June week at the beach together about the same time as dd started attending SIs. :lol: Dh hates the beach, unfortunately. Plus, I'm having trouble sleeping for some reason (explains the late-night posts I've made lately.) Tonight, I'll force myself to tackle cleaning out a closet or something, maybe do a little of the ironing from the accumulated pile. (I did clean the fridge out last night. :D) If I manage to not listen to the little voice telling me what I should be doing, I'll do what I really want to do and work on making some jewelry using the beautiful stones I recently bought at a gem and mineral show.

 

Maybe by the time my daughter goes away for real, I'll have all this "empty-nest" stuff worked out--these five weeks really are good practice. Thanks for letting me vent a little on your forum, under 13 parents, since I can't lie and say I'm thriving!

Edited by Balletmom

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dancetaxi

I thought I could get away without posting to this board. *sigh* My DS is at Blue Lake Fine Arts camp where they only allow communication by mail. I haven't recieved any "come pick up your kid, he's a basket-case" phone calls, so I'm assuming all is well. This is his first time away and I am dying to know how he is doing! I thought for sure a letter would come today, but I checked and--nada.

Boy, this is tougher than I thought it would be!! :D WAAAAAAH!

Okay, I feel better now! :lol:

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mmded

If it's any consolation dancetaxi, I have found through five summers of my dancer away and three full years in a residence program far away, no news is almost always good news. The phone calls you get when you are not expecting them are usually when something is wrong. :green:

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Treefrog

I know what you mean, Dancetaxi! In this day and age, we're so used to instant communication that the forced lapses can be tough! I talk/email with the older DD nearly daily. The younger one is at a regular summer camp (mail only), and I HATE not being able to talk. I think, by the way, that this has changed in the last couple of years, since cell phones became so prevalent; I don't remember this yearning so much in prior years. She's a good correspondent though, and wrote two letters the first week. Plus, her camp posts cyber-updates almost daily, and if you're lucky your kid shows up in one of the pictures.

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dancetaxi

Thanks MMDED and TREEFROG! :green:

I know that no news is surely good news, and the kid is 10 after all (and a guy at that) so I know actually taking out the pre-addressed, stamped envelopes is a huge imposition!! I'm sure I'll get at least one letter sooner or later (probably on the day I leave to pick him up!!) There is another mom on BTFD whose DD is up at Blue Lake with him, and she spent Sunday afternoon with her daughter. They know my son (the only boy) but of course she doesn't have PM priveledges yet.

*breathe just breathe!* :wacko:

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calamitous

Dancetaxi we tried the addresses stamped envelops last ummer. We fortunately stamp prices didn't go up because we sent the SAME ones back this year. Still no mail.

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homeschooltreasurs

I'm going down Thursday if you want to send a message. :D I am also dropping off some fresh baked brownies - I could drop some off for your son if you think he would enjoy them.

 

DD and her friend entered a little dance in the tallent show and made the cut so my other DD and I are going to watch. This is so different from last year! She was in North Dakota, so I dropped her off at the airport and didn't see her until her return . . .

 

BTW, my eldest is a boy - and he never communicated with me when he went away to camp - and wouldn't have wanted me to visit either. :D

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dancetaxi

homeschooltreasurs: Wow, you are lucky to live so close! If you happen to run into him, just tell him that if he hasn't written a letter to him mom that he's dead meat in the street! *kidding* :D Nah, just tell him I said "hi" and that I hope he's having a great time! Of course, he would love brownies! (He has my sweet tooth.) But please don't go out of your way. I'm sure he's eaten enough junk from the camp store!

 

A little :D I don't know what it is about guys and communication. (Hasn't there been a book or two written about that? ha ha) His "girl friends" (just friends) will call the house and it's like pulling teeth to get him to call back. I guess I should be grateful that he's not a teenager yet and on the phone all the time. UGH!

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homeschooltreasurs

Gave the brownies to my daughter to deliver to you son - along with some for several others. Don't know if they made it - the girls in the cabin were pretty voracious after a week of camp food . . . but I did my best!

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dancetaxi
Gave the brownies to my daughter to deliver to you son - along with some for several others. Don't know if they made it - the girls in the cabin were pretty voracious after a week of camp food . . . but I did my best!

 

Sorry about temporarily hijaking the thread, this is way :sweating:

 

My son got the brownies, thank you so much!! That was so thoughtful of you!

 

Back to topic: I finally got a letter on the 6th of July. He mailed it the 1st, so I guess it takes just took a while. In it he talked about making friends both within his cabin and in dance. He also said the food was terrible, but he was having a blast and wanted to go again next summer. All a mom needed to know!!

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