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Ballet Talk for Dancers
prayhard

Tips for Mom as daughter leaves for first SI?

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prayhard

My 15 year old daughter will be heading out for her first SI this Sunday. Any advice to me as a Mom? I'm excited for her and confident it will be a great experience. I had a bunch of her friends write her some letters so that will be a surprise for her right before she leaves....any other tips, advice, encouragement, creative ideas? Thanks!

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backstagemom

I will be in your shoes next summer, so this thread interests me as well. Can you send little care packages?

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lorimac13

Enjoy your time off!!!!!!!! :)

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lovemydancers

Here are some ideas... :) (an oldie but a goodie)

 

While the cat's away

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DianneC

My daughter went to her first SI last year. We sent her a fun card every few days. I also sent a large goody package from a popcorn company. She's requested this again! Also sent some dance supplies with a brand new leotard. I learned to text so she could text me while on the bus (too loud to talk.)

 

It sure was quiet around here. This year we are planning on re-doing her room while she's gone.

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Momof3darlings

Please do continue to share on this thread. We need some new and fresh ideas for things you'll do for goody packages and such. We do already have a thread with some amazing ideas from year's past that I will reference you to but also hope that parents in the last couple of year's will also add things they have done recently as well:

 

SI Care packages and packing

 

Care packages for Boys

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mom57

My daughter will be gone for five weeks and my son will be at camp for 4 weeks. Since he just completed his freshman year of high school and is a real handful, I am looking forward to the break. I will be alone for 2 WEEKS since they overlap. I am going to paint their rooms, read, garden, go to concerts, catch up with friends. I am going to promise myself not to stay late at the office.

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chicaballet

In terms of encouragement, my DD went away for the first time last year at 15. She stayed with my brother in law and his family and commuted back and forth into the city each day. We dropped her off, stayed for a few days, and came back a month later for the last few days. At the end of the intensive, I asked my brother in law how it really went. He told me she was the first one up every morning, made coffee for everyone, made her breakfast, packed her lunch, got her bag ready and took the bus downtown. She came home between 6:30-7 unless they had rehearsals when she would get a ride with another commuter and come home around 9. She would then eat a small dinner, shower and collapse into bed. All I could say when I heard this was "My daughter knows how to make coffee...."

 

In other words, it's not just about the dancing.

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Momof3darlings
In other words, it's not just about the dancing.

 

And that is one of the most valuable lessons to learn from it all! :)

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2dancing

My 16 year old DD is going away to her 6th SI in a few weeks.

 

One lesson I have learned is that my daughter did not always share my enthusiam to rehash her day. I would expect to hear from her when classes were done not realizing how very hard they had worked all day. She was tired and needed to go back to the dorms, eat, rest and then maybe call me.

 

I also would warn you that sometimes when they call you and sound upset (and it then ruins your day), it may also be for some very insignificant incident. They are tired and over react but feel better once they tell you. I've spent many days with a knot in my stomach only to have her call a few hours later perfectly fine.

 

Remember this is a wonderful experience that stretches them both physically and mentally and she will come back having learned many important lessons.

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Dancer830

DD went away for 5 weeks last year for her first SI experience at 15 years old. I was fine saying goodbye at the dorm and fine walking to my car, but I got to the exit gate and just "lost it" for a few minutes. I gave myself a few minutes of sadness, then pulled it together. DD didn't call for three days and I was actually thrilled!! I knew the lack of calling was because she was having so much fun! So don't berate yourself if you feel sadness, allow it, own it, then move on and know that she'll be home in a few short weeks (probably complaining that the SI was so short!).

 

I also sent care packages of favorite goodies, new, soft pj's, and magazines. Have fun and keep us posted!

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denipark

Not advice, just how I dealt with it: I literally bumped around the house for the first three days, trying to come up with an excuse to call. Finally my neighbor impaled his riding lawnmower in his chain link fence and THAT was worth a call! After chatting, I realized that I could deal with my daughter's growing independence. As moms, WE are the ones who must make adjustments to our growing children and their needs. If we can do this, the whole transition into their adulthood is sooo much smoother...for everyone.

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lacetree

Summer intensives like this just don't exist in the UK. You might get one, maybe two weeks only. School holidays are only six weeks, so maybe that has something to do with it. My daughter is desperate to come to the States next year to do one, so I'm reading this thread with interest.

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yankee

This will be my DD's third summer at a residential SI. She sends us a "good morning" text everyday and calls at the very end of the day for a brief check-in. Usually during the first couple of days away she will feel mildly homesick but she realizes, "this too shall pass," and as long as we acknowledge it but don't hyper-focus on it she gets through it just fine. We miss her when she is away but also enjoy the break from the daily driving.

 

During her stay we send little notes and care packages - usually filled with things she needs but we include fun little surprises.

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Treefrog

Practice saying this phrase: "hmmmm. What do you think you are going to do about that?". Say it often enough to yourself so that if she calls with a crisis -- roommate issue, placement unhappiness, missing pointe shoe -- it comes naturally.

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