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Ballet Talk for Dancers
Jennsnoopy

Slow and steady wins the race?

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Jennsnoopy

Learningdance and Eligus- great thoughts! You guys are not insensitive. Sometimes I wonder how much of her stuff is teenage feelings and how much is cancer survivorship. She is my oldest so never been through this before.

 

 

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Eligus

Probably -- like most things -- a bit of both, and maybe with a bit of "dancer personality" thrown in (they ARE different psychologically IMO).

I've never been through cancer survivorship, but I can tell you I've been through at least one 13 yo DD, and she had the same feelings of comparison and worry that your DD is exploring right now.  But the fact of having survived ONE 13 yo doesn't give me much authority on the matter.... I'm discovering that every single kid seems to be unique...  there may be some universal themes, but each one seems to handle the theme differently... at least that's my latest parenting lesson that I've learned as my middle one (non DD) approaches 14 yo....

Parenting is hard, it's a good thing kids are resilient and forgiving.:P 

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nynydancer

Ok, I will give you a example. A gal who is now 16 is probably one of the best at our school, and was one of only two from our school accepted into a very, very tough summer program at the highest level. It was only last year that she was moved into her current level with dancers more her age. She is extremely humble and never seemed to mind being left behind, never made a fuss about nut parts etc, but of course now she is well on track to getting the ultimate prize of a pro career. 

By contrast, a gal who was put into a level too high for her ability (went to 3 letter school, came to our school, parents fought for high level, and yes our school will cave at times), this girl got worse and her confidence is shaken. 

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Jennsnoopy

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to update. My DD has come to accept where she is being place and is back on with the pursuit of excellence at her current level. She really has a connection with the AD and since she trusts her so much she feels at peace with the decisions made.

On a side note, due to medical ptsd, social pressures at her mid school, and boredom with her classes we ended up pulling her from traditional brick and mortar school and she is now doing online school. She is a different girl in only a few short weeks of this change. She has been begging for this for a long time now. Her current schedule is wake up at 7 am,  school until 11 am (she usually gets it all done at the latest by then), goes to vet volunteering until 1:30-2, then to ballet. The change in her is dramatic. She even dances like a huge pressure is removed.

Thanks for all of your help. The fact that you all provide advice, even to moms of dancers who want quality education but not a pro career, is awesome.

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Eligus

Congrats on a parenting win, Jennsnoopy! 

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mom2two

Sounds like a great move.  Online or homeschool isn't for everyone but it made a world of difference in our world as well.  One of my DDs once said, very wisely, "I was able to become the person I was supposed to become because I didn't have all of the social norms and pressures of traditional high school."  Middle school was a rough patch for us and we didn't have the added complication you have with your DD's medical history.  I certainly have things I would do differently if given the chance, but overall it was the right path for us.  

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