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[Guest petiteanise]

Excuse me gentlemen,

 

but I wanted to know if you had anything I could say to me hubby (joseph) about getting him to try ballet? He helps me practice and then he tend to mimic what I do and much to my shock hes better at some stuff then I am! On his first try he did a triple pirouette in correct form! I showed him hoe to do tours en l air and it took him two days to get down doubles. His kicks are higher, his grand jetes are beatuiful (and better then mine) but when I asked him to at least try one class, he gets really shy and appears to be embarassed at the fact that he does pretty well for a beginner. How do I make him feel confident?

[Mel Johnson]

Well, I think that qualifies as a "knock-knock" on the door of the men's smoker!

 

It has the seed of an interesting discussion there - sounds like you might have a sort of new Igor Youskevitch there, who didn't start ballet until he was an adult. What are the motivators for an adult male to start studying ballet? Gentlemen, I await your input, as I started ballet when I was 12.

[Mr Robin]

Does pretty well for a beginner? Well that's an understatement! I've been dancing for two years, and still can't do a clean single pirouette, never mind a triple. And tours en l'air are but a distant dream...

 

My motivation for taking up ballet as an adult - as with most men who do, I think - was unrealised childhood ambition, which probably doesn't apply to your husband. (Or maybe it does?) But it sounds to me like he has an incredible talent for ballet, and I would think that was motivation enough - if I was him, I'd be in class like a shot just to see what more I could achieve with training!

 

Often the greatest fear of the adult beginner is that they'll look stupid in front of a class whose experience and ability is greater than their own. In your husband's case, though, even though he may lack experience, his ability will go far beyond that of the rest of the class. His only worry, then, would be inciting their envy!

 

So I guess that any embarrasment is down to your husband subscribing to the widely-held belief that ballet is a rather un-masculine activity, and I have no easy solution to this. If he really wants to explore his talent, then it'll be relatively easy to overcome any prejudice of his own against ballet, but it takes some strength of character to ignore other people's.

 

Personally, I have a lot of difficulty in overcoming the prejudice of my friends and colleagues, to the extent that I keep my dancing a secret from most. But if I had your husband's talent, I really don't think it would be a problem - being able to perform physical feats that few people can match earns considerable respect, even if it is veiled in jokes.

 

Now I don't know your husbands background (martial artist, gymnast or athlete, maybe?) and his level of achievement in other fields, but my advice would be that his life will be considerably enhanced by ballet. The happiest people are those who recognise their talents and realise their potential, and I can't imagine any activity more rewarding than dancing at the level that your husband seems capable of.

 

I would suggest talking to him about the source of his embarrasment, then - helping him put his fears to rest is the only way in which you can help, as confidence ultimately comes from within. Let us know how you get on, or maybe just suggest that your husband posts here - he'll find plenty of support and advice here!

[2 Left Feet]

If someone with no experience walked into my class and did those things, I'd grab my dance bag and head to the nearest place I could get liquored up. I'm in with Mr. Robin. I work and struggle every day with incremental improvements.

[Hilarion]

Sounds to me like your husband missed his calling. Unless he heeds your advice, he will be another mute, inglorious Milton of dance (my apologies to Thomas Gray).

[Guest mic31]

2lf I would do the same thing.

Otherwise just ask him to tell you why he won't go, get the real reason. It sounds like he'd enjoy it. It's always been said that the hardest step in ballet is that first step through the studio door

[citibob]

petiteanise... before approaches can be suggested, we must know why your husband is reluctant. My wife, for example, is very reluctant to come to ballet class.