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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Long Distance Parenting


Guest PAmom

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Something I did when I was a teenager away from home, would be to go to a 'secure' phone booth (always the same, so that my parents knew the number) and dial home... Let it ring 3 times and hang up. Wait 30 seconds, then redial and ring 3 times, and hang up. (It should cost nothing). That was my signal to let my parents know that they had to call me back. :P It worked great! :pinch:

 

Vagansmom, if you have any question Re: travelling in Europe, let me know by PM and I can advise on a few daily basics (I'm French, and have also lived in Ireland, Germany and now UK)

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I used to do the signal phone check also, the problem is the phone companies have caught on and you can no longer call in to many pay phones, it also was a problem with drug dealers using them for operations. Sad world

 

We are planning on using cell phones, verizon has a great deal and is available all over (at least in the east) Free long distance. We also are computer users, and the school is providing laptops with wirelss 802.11b connections in the school and residence

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Here is a cheap phone number: 1016868 + phone number.

I call to Moscow almost every day, and it is not expensive at all.

Also, if you buy $10 Dimond Direct calling card you can talk to Moscow for 30(!) hours.

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Re: the air travel issue. Unfortunately our daughter's year round school location is not served by either Southwest or ATA, however, we have found some low fares by registering for the "Fare Watcher" on Travelocity. You will receive an email notification if fares go down to your city. Be sure to schedule holiday travel well in advance, especially if you are trying to cash in frequent flyer mileage.

My ex-husband and I try to switch off attending performances, Parent's

Weekend, etc. so that at least one of us can be there.

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Well, this thread reminds me to get a care package in the mail - nothing like a surprise package to generate a happy phone call back to me! So, it serves both parties well.

 

This fall we get a bonus visit home from dancing daughter as she is maid of honor in her sister's wedding (one of the very few things in the ballet world that apparently gets you excused from classes for a few days). But then it is the long haul until just after new year's.

 

I've found one of the best investments in visiting is time spent dining with other parents and kids or taking daughter's friends out to eat. Getting to know the pals helps to bring all the long distance stories to life and gives you more aspiring dancers to root for!

 

The money involved in travel - plane, rental car, hotel, has been a major impediment to hubby and me ever getting out as much as we would like to to visit. Lat year we hit the summer performance and the end-of-the-year spring student performance. This year we missed the summer but I'm hoping to go in the winter to see the company's Nutcracker, or pehaps something else, and then back again in spring.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, I just got back from moving my DD out of state. It was actually kind of a fun trip, and I only cried a little :grinning:, so I was proud of myself. The apartment looks great, and she and her roommate will have the fun urban experience that she never got in our small town (besides non-stop dancing during the week). I'm glad to know, from this thread, that I'm not alone! She says she's sort of looking at this as one long SI (in terms of dancing all day and being away from home); I'm sure it would have been a lot harder had we not had the experiece of multiple summers with her away.

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I've dealt with dancing daughters being away at school all year and then getting jobs in far away places. The insurance situation was not a problem when they were in school because they were still young enough to be covered on my insurance from home. Even the HMOs have emergency coverage. I did bring one of my daughters home to see a doctor once when she had a sore throat for a long time that I was concerned might be mono.

Once they got jobs, I always felt badly when I couldn't be at the performances. I still send flowers back stage on opening night. I call afterwards to see how it went and ask them to save me a program. I try very hard to make as many of the performances as I can their first year. I figure the first year away is the hardest on them too so want them to know that they are supported. Then each year afterwards I continue to attend , but not as often, but still send flowers. I was lucky enough with daughter number 2 that her company toured to spots close enough to home to be able to drive to. Plane fares are expensive and I am a hesitant flier anyway. At least when they have jobs, they also have an apartment and car so my only real expense is the plane trip. I can stay and eat with them and they can get comp tickets for me. It actually makes it cheaper to visit than when they were in school and I would need to stay in a hotel and buy food.

 

As for the schooling issue long distance, I spent a lot of time on the phone encouraging etc. With one of mine, I had to ask the school to restrict her curfew one semester so she would concentrate on school more. Not popular, but effective.

Every year when it was time for them to go back to school, it seemed harder to let them go. I knew between year-round school and summer intensives, I was not going to be able to see them very much at all.

So, when daughter number 3 got an offer to stay year round at a school on the other side of the country, I moved with her. I like this much better and am enjoying having this one with me all the way through high school. A novel idea for me.

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