Guest Nicole Foss Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 I apologize for posting on your forum, but I have a question that I feel all the gentlemen out there would be best qualified to help me with. I am happily married, and very in love with both my husband and dance. I've managed to talk him into taking a latin class with me, and he has told me that I can take all of the ballet classes that I want. The only thing is that he has admited that he is terrified that I'll fall in love with a dancing guy and leave him because he's not interested in ballet. I've already reassured him the best that I can, but I was wondering how I could go about getting him to take a ballet class with me, so that he can see for himself that he has no reason to be afraid... I don't want him to take weekly classes or anything if he doesn't want to, but I'm hoping that just one class will help reassure him (not exactly a lot of time for flirting in class) Thanks, and sorry again for invading your space Link to comment
Guest Leigh Witchel Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Nicole, why not start by simply inviting him to watch class, or if even that's a bit too much or too long, conspire to have him come a little bit early to pick you up from class one day. That would probably have the same effect. Trust me, watching grand allegro in adult classes will convince any sensible man that ballet class is no mating dance! Link to comment
Mel Johnson Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Ditto from me, Nicole. One good look at a ballet class and he'll be, like, AUUGGHHH! That's too much like work! Link to comment
citibob Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Fears like that come from something inside the relationship, not from the activity in which you are engaged. Ballet isn't the problem here --- the problem is that you're very interested in something he's not, and he's wondering if that means you two don't have enough common ground to remain married. It is normal for couples to have many common interests, but also some non-shared interests. I would point this out to him and re-iterate the reasons why you are attracted to him. Also, don't abandon him for ballet --- participate in your shared interests as well. Marriage is a dance of boundaries as well as shared intimacy. As for finding a hot guy in ballet class --- believe me, you'd have a LOT of competition. It would be a LOT easier for a man to run off with one of his fellow dancer ladies. Link to comment
Guest djb Posted November 6, 2003 Report Share Posted November 6, 2003 Having been on both sides of this issue, I've found that what citibob said about the importance of shared interests is very true. (I'm not suggesting that something is amiss in your relationship, because of course I know nothing about it -- just making a general comment.) Link to comment
MJ Posted November 6, 2003 Report Share Posted November 6, 2003 Finally! Someone assumes there are straight guys who take ballet! YIPPEE MJ Link to comment
Guest Emsin Posted November 7, 2003 Report Share Posted November 7, 2003 Nicole, I also agree with citibob. This isn't about ballet. I think the issues must be addressed in a more conventional way. I wish you and your husband well. Emsin Link to comment
Guest tdancer Posted November 7, 2003 Report Share Posted November 7, 2003 mj, i agree entirely!! Link to comment
Mel Johnson Posted November 7, 2003 Report Share Posted November 7, 2003 OK, I think we've hit the right answers here. Before this turns into Dear Abie, I think I'll close it. Link to comment
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