comparing oneself

[minty]

I'm not sure how to explain the situation, but I'll give it a try : I do a lot of classes per week, of different levels ; most of them are quite difficult, but one of them is a beginner's class ; now, I begun ballet last year, but do a lot of hours per week ,and, although I was an adult (25 years old) beginner, I have made some progress (I'm not the only one who thinks so )

In my studio, the teacher usually puts in the front good students who can be examples for the rest of the class ; I usally stay at the back, because in general, there are always enough people better (much better) than I

yet, during last hols, our numbers were quite depleted, and the good students who usually attend the beginner's class were away ; our teacher chose other people to go in front, and those people were no better than I am (I mean, this is a really very easy class, since new beginners arrive all year round) ; but she never chose me ; we are good friends outside the studio, but I don't dare asking her why she never chose me (I'm afraid it would sound pretentious)

so waht can I do ? I'm not jealous of people who have years and years behind them, but I do admit sometimes I would love to be noticed a bit more, especially when I can do the work she asks

I know you should dance for yourself, and not compare yourself to the others , but well ...it's hard

can anyone help me ?

Thanks very much

[vrsfanatic]

minty perhaps your friendship outside of the studio with the teacher is inhibiting the teacher from putting you in the front line? If you are such good friends you should ask her/him. It is not an usual request. Approach her/him positively and politely. Perhaps he/she thinks you are timid and are not interested to come forward? I would ask!

[Guest fastfeets]

Perhaps because of that friendship, your teacher considers herself qualified to have insight into you and thinks that your tendency to stay in the background means you're a little uncomfortable as yet with being up front. In which case, there's absolutely no slight to you...but you owe it to yourself to ask your teacher what reason there might be for it. Or you could also casually mention how brave you've been feeling lately and let her know you're ready to take your spotlight.

[Clara 76]

Hello Minty,

Is it possible that your teacher is concerned that the other students will think she's favoring you because of your friendship outside of class?

Clara

[minty]

maybe...but a very small maybe because, first, she nearly always has the same people in front (who are about as good - should I say as bad - as I ) and second, in this beginner's class, people only come once a week or so, and definitely don't know of our friendship. I definitely don't dare asking her (although we're friends, she's forty years older than I am, and I guess I am still a bit shy with her sometimes )..

[b1]

Let me add from a teacher's perspective (granted only my perspective, but a teacher also).

 

I don't 'see' the dancers up front as well as I do those in the second or third line. I find that the front row is too close to me, no matter how far back they are. Usually, I find those in the front are those who don't need quite as many corrections from me, and I find my focus more on those in the other lines who may need more guidance. That does not mean they are not 'as good' as those in front at all.

 

I remember being in your position (feeling 'why aren't I picked to be up front?') as a student. Many times it was because I wasn't the height they were looking for, or who knows why else. And, then when I was chosen to be in the front, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be (I think I had built it up in my mind for more than what it is...a spot to dance in).

 

The best advice I could give is...dance and work the best you can every class, no matter where you are placed. Your teacher will still like you as a friend no matter what happens in class (will you still like her as a friend no matter what happens in class?)

 

b1

[koshka]

Two things seem odd to me here:

 

1. Why don't the adults arrange themselves?

 

2. Don't you rotate lines every exercise or two, so that it doesn't really matter who's in front for the first one?

 

If you think it would help you learn more or dance better to be in front, by all means ask your teacher about it.

 

My only criterion for a "spot" is to have a reasonably good view of the mirror and enough space to feel confident that I won't bother anyone else.

[minty]

one or two answers :

yes, I'll still like her as a friend ouside class , whatever happens

- this is an amateur school, and most people don't have the faintest idea of how to place themselves (they tend to believe that if they have the spot they have chosen, it doen't matter that someone is already standing there, or nearby)

- we don't rotate, we usaully have two groups though ; but I guess the explanation is that most people are not very young and therefore cannot memorize the exercises so well, and prefer to copy the front line

thank you for your answers ; I try to do my best anyhow, but sometimes, I get demoralized ...