idiot?

[Sarah Ann]

Well, here's the story. In my college ballet class (mostly very new beginners, but a good handfull of more advanced dancers and 5 girls en pointe including me), there is this girl that has had NO aparent training. She doesn't even know the basic positions. Well, at the beginning of the semester, she came flopping in on pointe shoes (she doesn't even have enough foot control to walk normally in them!!), and the teacher told her that she was not allowed to wear them. . .even though she claims that the "studio" she dances at allows her to. Well, since the teacher won't let her wear them in class, she fumbles around in them in the hallway and second studio while the teacher has another class and the rest of us are fixing our hair, etc. We constantly tell her that it is dangerous, she really needs more training and that she just shouldn't be doing what she is doing. The teacher has talked to her about this, but outside of class, there really is nothing she can do. Does this girl just need to break her ankle or some other part of her body? Or is there something else that could deter her from doing this?

 

The last straw where the majority of us more advanced dancers had it with her was when she came to the spring rehearsal with brand new, very ill fitting pointe shoes on with no elastics or ribbons attached and expected to dance. I thought our teacher was going to explode and we were all right there with her! Please, if there is any, someone give me advise! At this point, I assume that we all just watch her break her leg and say that we told her so

[Mel Johnson]

She's going to hurt herself, or worse. Your teacher ought to have the authority to eject her from class for improper attire. Further, if this is for a mark, she ought to be headed for an "F". Short of that, does the name Nancy Kerrigan ring a bell?

[Sarah Ann]

Haha. Yes, she is not allowed to attend class in pointe shoes, but the teacher can't dictate what she wears when class is not in session because it is not a private studio, it's in the arts building at my college. . .and they have no rules against it.

 

The teacher also can't mark her down for this. . .it was discussed. I mean, the girl tries in class, but is very cocky about it because "she knows what she is doing". There are constant chuckles.

 

I mean, I guess I can't make anyone do anything, but it is very frustrating none the less.

 

Oh, and the only problem with the Nancy Kerrigan method is that nobody is really jealous of this girl's complete ignorance. . .and if they are, then they should be hit.

[Mel Johnson]

OK, my next suggestion is for the really hard-core sadists out there. Choreograph a solo for her set to Johann Strauss, Jr.'s "Mein Herr Marquis" from Die Fledermaus. Rehearse it to piano accompaniment, then without letting her know, at the performance use the recording of the song as rendered by Florence Foster Jenkins.

[Sarah Ann]

only problem with that is, she can't dance anyways! Oh well, I guess we'll just all *patiently and silently* wait for that moment when we get to say we told her so.

 

I know it sounds mean, but after about 2 semesters of her complete, total and utter ignorance, she deserves it. . .and we are all waiting ever so patiently when she learns her lesson.

[Mel Johnson]

In the meantime, I recommend that you familiarize yourself with the oeuvres of Mrs. Jenkins. Or perhaps that should be the oeufs. She was one of the most...unusual...singing talents the world has ever known. Use the amazon.com link to order an album entitled "The Glory(?) of the Human Voice".

[Victoria Leigh]

My question is, what is this person doing in your class in the first place?

[Sarah Ann]

Well, she is not in my class where I take my regular class. She is just in my class at college. . .and I go to a community college, so there is only one level. . .and mostly it is beginners. . .the main reason that I take the class is for the barre excercises, and it fell right inbetween the other dance classes I was taking there. It is a good class for going back to the basics, and I love the teachers there too

[Hjete]

Eggs, Major Johnson? I'm not familiar with the work of Mrs. Jenkins...but are they works or eggs? (Maybe they are indeed "unusual" enough??) hehe

[Mel Johnson]

Here

 

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...nce&s=classical

 

Try this link, especially the audio samples. I think that you will agree that it sounds like something rather near the recording microphone is laying an egg or a couple of dozen. Already in a box. With sharp corners.

[Hjete]

All I can say is WOW! And ahhhhhhh! Eggs pretty much describes it! Now my question is why would someone pay for that? I realize it is a parody, but honestly...I couldn't stand listening to it for more than a few minutes. My roommate and I got a good laugh from it, though...both being singers. That would definitely be effective pay-back for the girl in your class, Sarah Ann... though not exactly humane.

[Mel Johnson]

I thought that you would enjoy that. Sixty years after her death, Mrs. Jenkins continues to delight music-lovers. It is safe to assume that neither her parents nor her husband gave her any encouragement at all in the pursuit of her singing career. In fact, both tried their best to divert her energies toward other activities. On their deaths, whether from her singing or other causes, they left her sizeable legacies, with which she continued to hound music from 1912 until her own death in 1944. She would stage benefit musicales for worthy causes, making programs from out of her circle of friends, and she had many professional musicians who were her friends, as she was a cheery and affable person who was constitutionally unable to say a mean or unkind word to anyone. After a taxi crash, she discovered that as a result she had developed "a new and higher F than ever before." She sent the cabby a box of expensive cigars. As her career as an impresaria progressed, she began placing herself on the program alongside her friends, like Enrico Caruso and Geraldine Farrar.

 

After awhile, the friends would be in the audiences at her "musicales" which she would stage at the old Ritz-Carleton hotel in NYC. The audiences would always be convulsed by the outlandish yawping which emanated from the singer, as well as her trunkful of truly stunning costumes. Her "Angel of Mercy" costume, which she wore to sing the Schubert "Ave Maria", is...unforgettable. Mrs. Jenkins was aware that her audiences were laughing, but it only served to demonstrate to her that she was making them happy! Her accompanist, Edwin MacArthur, was actually Kirsten Flagstad's accompanist at the Metropolitan Opera. He would appear with her under the stage name "Cosme McMoon"(!) because, he said, his contract with the Met made it impossible to perform under his own name. Mrs. Jenkins accepted that idea, and MacArthur played complete "straight man" in this dynamic and preposterous duo. Once asked by TV host Jack Paar if he had known how far off-key his principal was singing, "McMoon" blandly answered, "No one did."

 

About six months from her death, Mrs. Jenkins rented Carnegie Hall, and gave a recital which still lives in musical legend. For one of her numbers, "Cavelitos", she dressed as a Spanish senorita and tossed flowers into the first few rows of the orchestra. Then she threw the basket. When the audiences demanded an encore, McMoon was dispatched to the house to gather up the flowers and the basket. Sour high notes brought shouts of "Brava! brava!" and although the house was sold out to the rafters, as the singing progressed, more and more empty spaces could be seen in the house, as auditors slumped to the floor in helpless mirth. When her recordings were played on the radio, auto drivers hearing her were known to pull off onto the shoulder of the road because they could no longer control their vehicles. One even had a heart attack! To this day, no one is quite sure whether Mrs. Jenkins was in the grip of an all-encompassing delusion, or whether she was actually the premiere artiste of performance art, giving no hint that she knew anything at all were wrong!

[vrsfanatic]

Oh my! My dog was sleeping peacefully before I listened and jumped up with a start, barking at the racket as the audio sample began! Niki's review is definitely high volume barking! Great for comic relief.

[Amy'sMom]

OOOOOOHHHH...she gives the outcasts of "American Idol" some competition!! I wonder what Simon's response to her would have been!

 

Oops! Sorry...I just realized this is the teen forum. Please delete if you wish.

Edited April 28, 2004 by Amy'sMom

[Mel Johnson]

Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. Mrs. Jenkins has an odd effect on people. Simon might not even be conscious by the time she finished.