words that hurt

[Guest augusta]

Is it EVER OK for a ballet teacher to hurl vulgarities at student jus bec he/she was very angry with student? i mean scolding is one thing, but to use vulgarities ? Where do u draw the line?

[DreadPirateRoberts]

I'm a student, not a teacher, but I can say that I expect my teachers to be

mature, responsible adults, who are able to manage their anger and frustration

and disappointment enough on their own to create a positive class environment.

 

I treat my teachers with respect, but I think it's fair, in return, to expect that

they show me a similar courtesy. I understand that everyone has bad days

and has perhaps said things that they later regret. And, to be fair, some teacher/student

relationships may be such that confrontational criticism can be sharp and pointed and focussed.

But I think there's a fundamental difference between that and hurtful or demeaning

treatment of a student by a teacher. The former has the best interest of the student

at heart, and the latter does not.

 

Just my opinion...

[Victoria Leigh]

No, it's not okay.

 

Welcome back, augusta It seems to be over 4 years since your last post! I would like to ask you to please refrain from using abbreviations like "bec" and "u" on Ballet Talk. We have posters from all over the world here, many who speak English as a second language. We also try to help the teens learn to write correctly and not use computereeze and teenspeak here, so if the the adults do it, that does not set a good example. Thank you

[Mel Johnson]

No, vulgarities are over the line. But, what you consider vulgarity and I consider vulgarity may be two different things. Joseph Plumb Martin, writing of his experiences with the Continental Army during the War for American Independence, recalled a very strict Quaker family with whom he and a rather exuberant colleague obtained a housing billet. They told them that they didn't permit profane swearing, and that the soldiers would have to watch their language. Martin's friend suggested, "Well, then, I shall simply say 'darn it' when I mean something stronger." They said, "No, thee may not! And thee must not say 'swamp it' nor 'maple log roll over me' neither!" Nowadays, I have noticed a loosening of the "impermissible words" on TV, even on the broadcast channels, so standards are changing, but I still am uneasy using the word "dork". Now it seems to mean "schnook". When I was a kid, it was more obscene.

[Mel Johnson]

Another story: I used to take class from a teacher named Edward Caton. He was an American who had been born in St. Petersburg, Russia before the Revolution, and studied at the Maryinsky School under Legat. He apparently had a form of Tourette's Syndrome, and his word was "goddam". He would use it for all occasions. And he wasn't even the least bit angry. "All right, goddam, now we're gonna do some goddam rond de jambes, goddam, and one and two, god-DAM! and four...." After awhile, you didn't even hear it!

[Guest augusta]

let me be more specific - it's not just vulgarities but EXPLETIVES ! Not just the "innocent" Goddamn or even s**t....but the 4-letter word and worse ones ( i can't even bring myself to type it here )...

[2 Left Feet]

There's absolutely no reason for that kind of behavior by a teacher toward a student, regardless of their age or level. It's just not acceptable and any teacher who thinks it is should be shown the door. If you're not comfortable addressing the issue directly to the teacher I'd talk to the director of your program. Chances are you're not the only one being abused this way.

[Mel Johnson]

I'd leave. And if there's no one else to complain to, I'd contact your state Human Rights Authority. At the very least, this constitutes "creating and maintaining a hostile environment" which is actionable under human rights statutes.

[Guest Watermill]

Errr...where I come from the above mentioned "s**t" is a four letter word... and most unacceptable... especially in an educational (if even Adult) setting.

[Mel Johnson]

Point well taken; if we can't keep standards by example, we have no right to complain. Post edited to reflect asterisks.

[Guest mic31]

A teacher is someone that you have hired to perform a service. They will carry it out as they choose. Your choice is whether you retain them as an instructor or not. In other words to quote The Donald, "your fired!"

[Mel Johnson]

Couldn't have said it better myself. Congratulations, mic!

[ami1436]

hi... i've been lurking on your pages for a while and feel compelled to write now! i think it's important to note that it's not just vulgarities that are unacceptable - but also general treatment/attitude/condescension... i don't even know how to explain some of the situations that have happened! if you can get out/change schools, do so! but what about those of us who don't have other options? any advice for us?

[Guest mic31]

Set a standard of how people are to treat you. When people violate those standards let them know. Teachers also need a students feed back. Maybe this person was taught by some fire breathing dragon type and that's the teaching style that they adopted for themselves.

Funny story. When I was in flight school I had one of these fire breathers as my primary instructor. Finally I'd had it and we had it out one day. I finished the arguement by telling him that I'm paying the bills so I'm setting the standards of treatment here. I also told him that if he didn't like it he could leave but he was to leave immediately......we were at 7000 ft in the air at the time.

[Mel Johnson]

First, ami, welcome to Ballet Talk from lurkdom!

 

Secondly, Britain has a Protection from Harrassment Law (1997) that can be brought into play in cases of behavior clearly over the line into indecency or hostility. Try this site for more information:

 

http://www.harassment-law.co.uk/

 

"Bullying" is a covered subject.