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Hurt Feelings!


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My dance teacher really hurt my feelings! I was in pointe class, and we were at the bar warming up, and she told me not to hold on to the bar so tight, becasue I was too heavy and I might break it!! I don't think I'm too heavy. I am five foot ten and a half and I'm 130 pounds and I have alot of muscule. I'm not going to let her stop me from going to class because I love it too much and I'm a good dancer with good technique, but she REALLY hurt my feelings!! How can I let her know what she said offened me but in a polite way?

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I would suggest that you politely request a private conversation after class one evening. You should be prepared with a mental list of what you would like to say, however hurt feelings may not be the best way to say how you feel. Perhaps if you could explain your concern with her perception of your body since you are comfortable with the way you look. She also must know that you will not accept this type of public ridicule. Say it with a smile on your face. You are not a young teen any longer so you can defend your self.


Sometimes teachers say things quickly without enough thought. There is no doubt that perhaps a different way of communicating, do not press down on the barre, could have been more productive.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest SwanPrincess
:) I understand that hurt your feelings! But maybe she didn't mean you were too heavy, but that a person in general is too heavy to hang on the barre, maybe it was just a really misplaced way of saying you should use your own strength to roll up en pointe and not lean on the barre... The above poster's suggestion sounds like a good one :flowers:
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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest sugarplum

I agree with swan pricess. It sounds like she really meant that a person in general is to heavy to lean on the barre. She might just wanted to correct you not to hang on it.

If you are still not shure what she really wanted to tell you, just ask her after class if she has a minute for you. (I think vrsfanatic said that allready)

Good luck!!! :(



Edited by sugarplum
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Did she say it in a mean voice, because that would be a totally different story... However, if it was just an offhand comment, I agree with the above posters. I’m sure she didn’t mean it. I tell this to the little kids I help teach. Even the ones that weigh less than 40 pounds!


Whether you feel you need to discuss it with your teacher or not is totally up to you. Please tell us what you end up doing!



(just wanted to add that you are VERY slim-which I'm sure you know-I weigh the same, but am 2 inches shorter!)

Edited by KayP
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