Giraffedancer Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 In my ballet school, I'm mixed in with the second and third highest levels. One is with kids who are mostly at least a year younger than me, but they all get really competitive around each other. If one person gets a compliment in class, they all get really jealous and after class whine about how the teacher never notices them even though they do "just as well" as the other person. Lately, I have been getting many compliments and was recently promoted to the next level. They all question why I got to move up and not them, and say they're just as good as me. Everyone used to have a close-knit friendship, but now all they care about is making sure that they are "better than everyone else," and get better parts, or teasing others about their smaller parts. I get really annoyed when they become so competitive, and believe we should lay off each other while we're young. Is competitiveness bad in this situation, or am I the one who needs to lay off ? Link to comment
vrsfanatic Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 Congratulations on your promotion! Keep working to improve yourself. Don't let the others around you pull you down. You do not need to "lay off". You need to keep striving to be the best that you can be. People seem to always talk about others. Just keep yourself focused on what it is you want to do. This is your time to study and take full advantage of the opportunities in front of you. Link to comment
Administrators Victoria Leigh Posted February 8, 2005 Administrators Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 That kind of competitiveness is never good, Giraffedancer. That is just pure middle school cattiness. It's a bad thing, and should be highly discouraged by the teacher. Actually, it probably would not happen if the teacher was encouraging everyone to root for each other and to work together. In our school when someone gets complimented in class everyone applauds them! But it's important for the teacher to also be sure that everyone receives attention, corrections, and praise when merited. Building that kind of spirit in the dancers comes from the top, but even in the best circumstances there will often be one or two students who are not "team players" and can cause trouble. It's best to avoid and ignore. Do not participate, and don't talk about them. If they are not effective with their venom, they will stop. Link to comment
Giraffedancer Posted February 8, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 Thank you very much for the advice! Link to comment
born2bprima Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 GiraffeDancer: We are going throught that exact same problem at my studio right now with my friends ages ranging from 14-17 and it is getting to be pretty bad. We have a competition this weekend and our coach had a talk with us and said that if we can't pull our act together by then that he will be very dissappointed in us because he knows how close we used to be. It is such a shame because when we were younger and so innocent to this dance world no rejection letter or criticism from a teacher could break our bond of friendship and now it seems as if every little comment or "she got into this program and I didn't ...or I got in here and she didn't" ruins our friendship. I wish evrything could be the same but I realize that this dance world is so competitive at this day and age that it takes SUCH STRONG personalities among all of your friends to keep it all together! I hope everyhing gets better! Link to comment
Guest cheeriodancer10 Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 You are definately NOT alone on this problem! When I was younger, I was best friends with this one girl at my studio. Everyone saw us as a pair. We were in the same level, we would share the same roles in shows, etc. But then as we got older, her true character began to unveil. I just always had this feeling like she couldnt stop being competitive with me. We're not really seen as a pair anymore. She's a great deal taller now and we have very different styles of dance ( she's somewhat mechanical and I have more of a flow). She's also strictly ballet oriented and I enjoy all kinds of dance. I kind of miss our old friendship, but the way she's been acting, I don't really think she;s the kind of friend I want! Link to comment
Marenetha Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 I've had that problem before, when I was promoted along with two others, and most of our class stayed at the same level. I also got it from the two girls I was promoted with. Honestly, I just ignored them. They got over themselves eventually, and really - it's sort of a smug feeling, isn't it? That they're so jealous of you they can't even hide it. Link to comment
RightLeftMiddle Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 You might know me "giraffedancer" as Robyn L. M. (RightLeftMiddle). I know people are getting on each other so much and hate it but there also acting really 2-faced and its really annoying but i know your older than them and even if there jealous act like you know your better and older than them because you know you are. Link to comment
Administrators Victoria Leigh Posted February 14, 2005 Administrators Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 RightLeftMiddle, I responded to the topic you started, and welcomed you to the board, but I had to close the topic, as it was really a duplicate of this one with a different title. It was also from a dancer at the same school, with the same problem, as the dancer who started this topic. The question has been asked and answered, advice given by a moderator, and I really don't feel that there is any more to say about it. Topic closed. Link to comment
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