realistic visions and dreams

[~DaNcInQuEeN~]

I am 13, but my aspirations to be a ballerina have never wavered. Like something Victoria Leigh said somewhere "Ballet is like a calling". That is what it is for me. Ever since I could walk, I could dance, ever since I could talk I could ask for ballet lessons. I started "ballet" when I was five, and moved to a very good, serious studio when I was ten. It seemed that I had little talent or none! In fact, I was put in a class with seven year olds. For the next two years I worked VERY hard and now I am in a level with students my age and I have been en pointe for 1.5 years. I take class daily and each day my passion grows stronger.

 

Now I am auditioning for summer programs and keep working every class. For two years I was rejected from two summer programs that I REALLY wanted. I decided to look at my dreams and my goals. I probably will never be a principal with ABT or NYCB. I dont have the "ballerina" body. I don’t have great feet or the right height. I won’t let that get in the way. My motivation will lead me forward. After rejections from anywhere, I keep asking myself “Why don’t they want me”, “What can I do?”, “Why can’t I be the person these places want?” Then I got to thinking “What is the point in doubting myself”. Dwelling in self pity. I may NEVER have the feet, the legs. It’s not the end of the world! I am not struggling with ED’s or injuries. I have supportive parents and caring friends. I have teachers with so much to offer. It’s time for all of us who get so caught up in the ballet world to step back, count our blessings and move on.

 

I can dance and be happy in a tiny company, in the middle of nowhere. I never have to be on the cover of Pointe magazine. Does that mean I am going to give up? Stop dreaming? NO! I’m just making my goals a bit more realistic. I will be happy as long as I’m dancing. Isn’t that what I was set out to do in the first place?

 

And there is always the possibility that I will never become a dancer. All these years of training is not a waist of time. What is better than spending half of my life doing what I love? For now I’m just going to stop worrying about the future. I’ll just keep dreaming, keep working hard, keep dancing and see where it takes me. This life is what I want

 

What Victoria Leigh said:

 

While you might never make the same kind of money you would in the corporate world, the difference is that you would be doing what you really want to do with your life, and loving it. How many corporate people really have a love and a passion for what they do? Perhaps some, but my guess would be not the majority. It's a job. Ballet is a life. But, it's not an easy one, by any stretch of the imagination.

 

Ballet is a commitment, a focus, a lifestyle, and a passion. It's like a calling. If it is something you HAVE to do, not just something you choose to do, then you will find a way to do it. If it is not something you have to do, but just like and want to do, fine, enjoy it, keep dancing, but put your priority on what you want to do for a living.

 

I think she puts it in a really beautiful way. Thanks BA for listening to my rambling! I guess the realization just hit me!

[Mel Johnson]

And a very fine ramble it was! Sometimes we all have to give way to the "spontaneous overflow" of realization, as Wordsworth advised.

[mohnurka]

And you said it quite well, ~DaNcInQuEeN~!

[~DaNcInQuEeN~]

Thank you! I guess it was the "spontaneous overflow" of realization. Who is Wordsworth Mr. Johnson?

[Mel Johnson]

He was the leading (and lead-off) poet of the English Romantic Period. Without him, no Keats, Byron, Shelley.

[~DaNcInQuEeN~]

OH, funny I've never heard of him. Maybe I will later in school...

[Mel Johnson]

Here he is:

 

http://www.online-literature.com/wordsworth/

 

Click some of the poem titles on the left. I bet you've read some of them before!

[La_Bailarina]

My thoughts exactly ~DaNcInQuEeN~!

 

I too have realized that ballet isn't just something I want to do, its something I need to do. If I can't dance, I'm miserable, I'm not focused, my grades slip horribly, I'm no fun to be around. I can't see myself living a life that doesn't involve dancing. I know that I'll most likely never be dancing in a big company but I'm not going to give up because of that. Knowing that I don't have everything only makes me work harder.

[Guest cheeriodancer10]

Good for you dancinqueen! I find that as much as I like to perform and please others with my dancing when I can, I'm really doing it for me. After all, that's really what matters most is that you are doing what you love and love what you do.

[Guest cocoapuffdancer]

That is exactly how I feel dancingqueen, even though many times I have been told it could never happen, I still want it and try even harder. When people discourage me I have to say it does get me down, but the next day I show up for class and I'm happy to be there. In the end you have to realize that you are dancing for yourself, and you don't have to prove anything. Even when you aren't the best, if your having fun then it is really worth it!

[ABT Wannabe]

Today during school I had a total panic attack. What happens if I audition for tons of professional companies and don't get accepted for anything? What will I do in life? I was very worried. But the thing is, I don't think I will be as happy dancing and training myself if I know that there is nothing ahead of me to look forward to (company life).

 

I guess I'm confused with life at the moment.

[Guest cocoapuffdancer]

ABT Wannabe-

The thing you have to realize is that even if you don't perform in a company dance will impact your life forever. I read an article in the paper about a woman who danced in her youth but was never in a company and she had no regrets. Dancers are disciplined in keeping there body fit, so you will always be heathly and in shape because that is what you were trained to do. Also you will carry yourself with poise because of dance and never look down. I am not saying that you won't get in a company, because I believe if you work hard enough you can do anything, but I am saying that if you do not pursue dance it will be okay because it will still be in your life. If you feel like you are wasting time now, then maybe you just need to think about how much you love dance, because the years you train you should love and not regret them!

Edited March 7, 2005 by cocoapuffdancer