Jump to content
Ballet Talk for Dancers
LMCtech

Wanting exceptions made

Recommended Posts

Memo

I dont really understand this either. I think videos have to be made if auditions are missed, and it has always been that way. I dont think a teacher or parent should ask for anything else. Even if a spot has been offered ahead of time as a matter of good etiquitte and ethics attendance at the audition is the modest and correct thing to do. No guarantees can ever be made because the dancer could grow or not progress the way directors intended and a recheck is always necessary.

My mother used to remind me that pride cometh before a fall. :(

Share this post


Link to post
balletbooster

Asleep at the Wheel and Memo, I concur with your amazement about these things. :( Yes, there are plenty of talented students who are hoping, begging, praying to be admitted to these selective programs. But, for lots of reasons, exceptions are made to the normal admittance procedures more often than you would think.

 

I'm sure that the programs feel that the exceptions are justified. For those who are on the outside looking in, it can seem far less clear...

Share this post


Link to post
calamitous

Ok first to respond to this from memo:

 

"oh the recital is on my birthday(wedding anniversary) can we do it another weekend?" I wonder if people are kidding or really think that their birthday will be taken in consideration when scheduling. If you want to be considered for an exception make a comment like that and you can guarantee your AD will remember and you will not get one when you really need it. "

 

- although I find it hysterical I have students (college age) who seem to believe that the entire university exam schedule can be re-written because they want to do something or another.

 

As a teacher, I try to be as obliging as possible with students who have conflicts, but I find frequently the request to change something are from their own lack of thoughtful scheduling. I do not see why students should be allowed to come late to SIs if it starts during their exam week. School schedules are typically set years in advance so it should be no surprise when exams fall, dates for starts of SIs can be checked in advance and if families are not willing to let their student miss exams then they should not audition for the SI. I do realize that some places in the States this year, like Boston, are now well into summer vacation making up for snow days and this would be an exception to consider.

 

Exceptions can be made for events that cannot be planned for, of which there will always be an abundance for any adminsitrator, but to knowingly double schedule and then expect to be given special consideration is seeking an entitlement. I cannot believe that the SIs are unaware that the East Coast schools run late into June and if they needed to they could shift the start dates to July for their SIs. But there must be enough families willing to pull kids out of school early, or exceptions made at SIs that the system isn't pressured to change.

 

Of course this is easy for me to say since we sit in the midwest where schools finish early - first week in June-- so really don't have a conflict with dates, but there are other things that we miss throughout the year because we cannot be scheduled in two places at one time.

Share this post


Link to post
Dave
How do kids get into summer intensives without auditioning or with low scores :( ???

Contrary to the buzz, from what I have seen and heard this happens only very, very rarely in some of the the top tier programs, and not at all in others. I would by no means characterize it as a frequent occurrence at any of them.

Share this post


Link to post
BW

And then of course there's the exceptional entitlement option read the newspaper quote from this thread. :( This is not asking for an exception to be made but creating an obligation or, someone might say, an "opportunity". :rolleyes:

 

But back to the examples that calamitous and others have refered to... I agree that there are reasonable examples of worthy exceptions. Absolutely. :thumbsup:

 

However, that "But it's my birthday!" example does make me chuckle. I'll never forget a co-worker who was in her late 40's that assumed she'd get her birthday off at her new job because she "always had" before. That amazed me and still does.

 

Pulling out that overused saying here: "It takes all kinds." :blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Balletmom

There's an example from the university I graduated from of an exceptional athlete (definitely pro material) who was charged with a major crime last week, but would not turn himself in because he had planned to take a trip this week (it's spring break) and he didn't want to miss it. :( He finally did turn himself in yesterday, but the judge set a fairly substantial bail and ordered him to wear one of those ankle bracelets to keep track of him.

Share this post


Link to post
thedriver

This is an interesting topic and like most of you I can see both sides of this issue. I tend to be more of a rule follower - but I think for the most part the 10%/90% theory applies. Ten percent of the people make 90% of the request. Last night at the studio a mother of one of DD’s classmates (accepted into the same SI level as 2004) was demanding that our AD call the SI directors and request that her DD be moved up to the next level and be given financial assistance. She felt since her DD had attended the SI the previous summer and the AD was instrumental in obtaining financial help the same request was appropriate this year. This mother has other DKs at the studio and is frequently making “exception-to-the-rules request” – and usually is successful. Her mantra is “you snooze you lose”.

 

As a teacher, I want to offer encouragement to those of you who play it straight. You may not know it, but the sight of you in a room is a relief. :thumbsup: Do not think that what you do goes unnoticed. We are grateful to you. You are a light in the sea of narcissism.  :(

 

It’s worth a try, or it doesn’t hurt to ask doesn’t really work with me. There are some things (a lot of things) that just shouldn’t be asked for.

Thanks ToThePointe, I’d like to believe this is the case.

Share this post


Link to post
AsleepATheWheel

ok, I checked the newspaper quote and I think that I get it now. $$$ talks. Somehow dd is progressing in spite of her parents lack of interference on her part. If she manages to break into the biz, it will be on her own steam. If not, she will pack up her tights and her pointe shoes and move on.

 

In fairness to the original poster, we may be jumping to the wrong conclusions on what sort of exceptions parents are asking for as I am not sure specifics were given. But, I have been around long enough to know that they are probably asking for anything and everything.

 

The best that any of us can do is to put all of this into perspective, take a deep breath and realize that there is much more to life than the summer intensive! :yes:

Share this post


Link to post
Clara 76

My only contribution to this thread would be that perhaps we should allow LMCTech a chance to post specifically which exceptions are being asked of her.

 

So far, while some very valid points have been made, we are responding with suppositions about what LMCTech has said.

 

It's possible that the exceptions that are being requested of her are outlandish- but then again, maybe not. Since we aren't sure, it might be best to stay away from any accusations in LMCTech's direction. :)

 

I completely understand what most of you are saying about both asking for exceptions, in exceptional situations, and about policies being clear and consistantly applied. Excellent points all. :thumbsup:

 

It is true, too, that some of the most popular SIs have created problems by being very inflexible because they feel they can get away with it. I really do believe though, that eventually, that inflexibility will come back to bite them in the nether-regions!! :yes:

 

Clara 76

Share this post


Link to post
Clara 76

OOPS! I see AsleepATheWheel & I were posting at almost the same time with similar ideas!

 

What is that saying...Crazy minds think alike....or something like that !!!!! :yes:

 

Clara 76

Share this post


Link to post
BW

Several posters have asked what kinds of exceptions were being referred to.

 

The bottom line is that this bit of ballet SI life is just a microcosm of the bigger picture. We all have to make choices and most of us do the best we can and try to teach our children well.

 

Yes, sometimes money talks, and though that money often does help one of its own short term, it can also help others long term - as in the newspaper article...others did and do benefit from that new ballet studio/school...

 

Sometimes the outrageously gifted, as opposed to wealthy, benefit from catching the eyes of those who make the decisions... The majority of people go about their lives and try their best, working hard with what they've got and live with themselves.

 

Three cheers for pulling onself up by one's own tights! :):clover::yes:

 

P.S. I do solemnly swear this is my last litte "Hallmark" like, trite, post. :thumbsup:

Edited by BW

Share this post


Link to post
LMCtech

Boy, you all have been busy talking while I was away on business. :yes:

 

There have been a lot of assumptions made about the kind of exceptions I'm talking about. So let me clarify.

 

I welcome calls about exceptions that have to do with academic or performance conflicts. If you have a final the first day of our program the answer will be "Yes, you can come two days late". coming a few days late is not a big deal. Coming TWO WEEKS LATE is another matter all together. NO YOU CANNOT COME TWO WEEKS LATE. WHY ARE YOU GETTING MAD AT ME FOR SAYING NO?

 

I don't mind people calling me about the waiting list. I realize that our policies make for disappointment. I realize that they are a bit confusing, no matter how clearly I try to explain it in the acceptance letter. I don't really mind parents calling about that AS LONG AS YOU DON'T YELL AT ME AND CALL ME NAMES AND ACCUSE ME OF BEING HEARTLESS. Yes that really did happen.

 

I don't mind people calling to find out their status after our auditions are over. I know there are deadlines. Just don't expect it in early January.

 

What I DO mind is :

 

Wanting your kid to audition now, when auditions are VERY over and the program is VERY full.

 

Wanting their kid to come without an audition. Wanting us to accept the kid based on the other program they were accepted to.

 

Wanting their 10 yr. old to come to the program and stay in the dorm. Then they argue with me that their child is very talented and able to do whatever our 13 yr. olds do. We will be the judge of that, thank you very much. And besides, that isn't the point.

 

Wanting to take two weeks out in the middle of our program to go to another program. No, choose one. And don't get mad at me when I say no. Missing a few days at the end or the beginning is one thing. Missing an entire week or more is something else.

 

 

Now, to answer some questions.

 

That kid who went on vacation last year was a year-round student whose grandfather was having a special birthday celebration out-of-state. We make exceptions like that for our year-round students because they are OUR year-round students and we ask families make a lot of sacrifices for us during the year.

 

Consistency is important, but exceptions should be made for legitimate reasons. Academic conflicts are good reasons. Family deaths and weddings are good reasons. "My birthday" is not a good reason.

 

thedriver, that is EXACTLY the kind of parent that is driving me crazy. Not the one who wants to know where their kid is on the waiting list or the one whose kid will be two days late because he has a performance on the first day of the program. What that more is asking is unreasonable.

 

I never forget who the customers are, but what parents forget is that there are more customers than just the parents. We are also serving the ballet company we are attached to and the students we are teaching. And truthfully, it is the students I am most interested in making a good program for.

Share this post


Link to post
balletbooster

This topic has stimulated lots of good discussion and also provided the opportunity for many to vent :yes: . Since it seems to have come full circle, I'm going to close the thread. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...