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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Tired Dance Parents


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Mrs. Stahlbaum

What a timely post! Just today I was desperately wishing for a week off, where I could take the car in for a much needed servicing without worrying about getting it back in time for the afternoon shuttling of children, and where I could finally get the plumber out to install the new toilet that I have been carting around in the back of the car for two weeks but haven't had a free day yet where I could schedule time for him to come out. The studio politics I can handle, but what to do with an extra toilet :lol: ?

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A few days ago when I was really tired - I was thinking that sending Dd to a ballet boarding school wouldn't be such a bad idea after all! :lol: Then I started thinking about how much we would miss her. It was a nice fantasy for a few minutes!

 

I think it is just that time of year when everyone is worn out and needs a break. Summer is on it's way and we have those weeks that the kids are at SI's off to look forward too......... :innocent:

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pointe2perfection

It IS in the air! I spend from 2:30 - 9:00 every day and 10 - 3 on Saturdays with classes and rehearsals at the studio. I don't have the luxury of dropping off my dd because my husband doesn't want her left there alone. I have to respect his wishes because of his line of work. He has seen things none of us dare dream of seeing. I am, of late, able to leave for short periods (dd is 12), but I could really stand for a long break! My husband handles our son' schedule in soccer. Dd has next week off from school and dance, so hopefully that will revive us both. I am actually excited to go with her to her SI because I will have all day to MYSELF - I CANT stay with her at classes. I am not sure I will know what do do with 6 weeks for me during the day. Good luck to all of you in getting through this spring phase :lol:

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Guest Clare

This all sounds so familiar. For the last 2 or 3 years that my daughter was living at home I avoided staying at the studio whenever possible. My daughter always referred to the ballet moms as the "piranhas" which too often seemed very apt!

 

On the other hand, since my daughter has been living away from home, I have missed it all. I now keep in touch with the piranhas by email, phone and meet up for gossip feeding frenzies regularly. I also spend long hours lurking in ballet forums - posting only when I know she won't be home for a while so that she won't spot that I have still failed to get a life of my own...

 

Clare

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Guest ivy'smama

As much as I love my daughter and enjoy watching her love of ballet, I am looking forward to July 5 when I drop her off in Atlanta and don't have to come back for 5 weeks! My car will stay parked in the garage the whole time she's gone. I'm a little worn out from all the running around (not to mention the studio politics). Guess I can just join the club with the rest of ya'll! I think my other two daughters will be glad to have a semi-normal life for a while, too.

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It is definitely ballet overload. I have learned many things about human nature and the pursuit of the elusive dream. My daughter has loved ballet from the point she could walk. She sometimes doubts herself, but tries to remember that dancing is more than studio politics.

 

Less time at the studio works for me. I lost what I thought was a true friendship over nasty behavior, and my daughter lost her closest ballet friend too. We remain cordial, and I suppose if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger. The upside-- We both have made and maintained truly wonderful friendships with people who share the crazy dream without the nastiness.

 

I just think a lot more laughter and a little less criticism goes a long way. Lighten up and take a break.

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Momof3darlings

Oh Treefrog, calgon take me away! :innocent:

 

Spring Break is coming and 8 days of "rest" for the weary! Let's all committ to spending at least a couple of those days pampering ourselves and not just our families?! And if you don't get Spring Break, take the couple of days anyway!

 

vj

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Wonderful thread. Thanks to all for being so honest with their thoughts and feelings. I could practically repeat "word for word" what many have said. I am glad that others also are able to look at the bright side...the good friendships that came from having a dd in ballet. I am very thankful for this.

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balletbooster

Some of us have already had spring break and we are STILL feeling stressed! :wacko: For those of us in parts of the country where school ends in May, we are already into the final weeks when all the end of school activities, term papers, exams, ballet rehearsals, performances, etc. start piling up!

 

I've been trying to make myself scarce around the studio, but they keep calling me to come in :innocent: ! I've taken to running errands and so forth until the last 30 minutes or so of my daughter's classes, then swooping in, taking care of whatever volunteer work I've been asked to do in record time and scurrying out. This leaves little time to sit around and fall into the studio gossip abyss :sweating: , as I must hustle to get my work done within the short time I have before classes end. Another thing that is very helpful is to be anywhere BUT in the reception area in the 10 minutes or so before classes let out. I find that this is the time/place when the most parents are present and so it is also the time when lots of tackiness, backbiting and general gossip occurs.

 

Daughter and I are both happiest when I am running a shuttle service only - rather than becoming a permanent fixture in a place that really should be HER domain! :thumbsup:

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Boy did I need this thread today. I'm glad to see it's in the air and before throwing a fit about some stupid studio politics, I read the advice wisely given here. I will stay in my car, listen to books on tape and try to laugh more. I'm sure that by the time the next casting comes around, all of this will have been water under the bridge for a long time.

 

and, the "less is more" recommendation is very timely....we found out this week that our company will be hosting RDA Festival next year. I will be very careful with what I volunteer for.

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dancindaughters

This came at a very good time for me as well.

Last week I experienced my first taste of true nastiness at the studio, which I can only attribute to jealousy. When someone deeply insults your child, it hurts more than if they had said something about you. :innocent: All I can really do is avoid this person as much as possible; I have always tried to be friendly to everyone, but her comment was just totally inappropriate to the point where I don't want to deal with her. I am going to stay out of the studio as much as I can, but as my dds are young, I can't leave them alone between classes. I have vowed not to comment about other children's dancing, or listen to other peoples comments about the same.

I think we all go through stages where it all seems overwhelming. Certain times of the year are more hectic and stressful. I'm already looking forward to the small break I will have before my dds summer program starts. I hope everyone has a good day.

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So if all of us feel this way, who ARE those parents at the studio??? :innocent: Seriously, as another mom who spends minimal time at the studio, I appreciate all of the comments and observations. My daughter has always made it clear to me that she did not want me to be one of those "Ballet Moms" and I have respected that. It helps that the studio is a 5 min. drive from our house and my husband and I share the driving. But, like others, I want to support the school. One thing I have been able to do is volunteer for things that I can do on my own time in my own space. I have been fortunate to be able to carve out a special niche--an annual project that takes lots of time but that I can do at home. My work is very much appreciated at the studio, but I don't have spend time there getting drawn into the studio politics. And if I'm honest, I know that if given the opportunity, I can fall into the gossip trap as easily as anyone.

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mydarlindancer

Very good thread, and I'll add that I agree that there's nothing new under the sun! While I think it's discouraging to hear that we are seeing similar behaviors at all studios it all boils down to human nature. Yes, it is terribly easy to fll into the gossip thing, and I have to take myself to task for it as well, occasionally. Again, human nature, yet it is easily enough overcome by just thinking before one speaks.

 

The one thing I will say doesn't help is when some of the faculty or admin slips into this. It can help no one and serve no purpose. It is difficult enough to maintain a good atmosphere without the people at the top adding to it. So....great advice, that staying away from the studio is! Maintain a high level of integrity with your own DKs and that is all you can do, really, to rise above the nonsense sometimes. It does help to teach your children to be able to know how to politely refuse to enter into conversations that are gossipy. I know that I have had to do that.

 

I will add my own chuckle after reading Joyellen's comment.... " So if all of us feel this way, who ARE those parents at the studio???"

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