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Ballet Talk for Dancers

dating your pas de deux partner


dancing_dentist

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Hi everybody.. I was just wondering, has any of you ever go out with your pas de deux partner or actually have a romantic relationship with him?

:shhh:

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Guest gillian

I know many professionals in the performing arts who simply do not date other people in their field (violinists who don't date violinists, actors who refuse to date other actors) because it can cause unpleasant tensions should the relationship fail. If you are lucky, things will work out and it will be great, but if there are problems in the relationship or you break up, your rehearsals will be very miserable for both of you, and you won't concentrate as fully as possible.

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Profesionally, I totally agree. But love is not professional. When it calls, what else can you do but to answer it? :D

Me and my partner actually went out together, but when we were about to move on to a more serious term, he decided to back out with that professional reason thing. He's been dating a non-dancer for some time now. His girlfriend is a jealous girl, she calls him on his mobile phone so often during our rehearsals, and she would get positively mad if he doesn't answer her calls, she would accuse him anything. Once, she actually refused to see our performance. She waited for him in the car, so after the performance, my partner was obliged to change in a lightspeed and left directly.

I never say a word to him, because it's his own decision to date that girl. but I personally feel very sorry for him. But as long as he doesn't complain, I won't say a word. But I do feel sorry, he's a very nice guy, he doesn't deserve to be treated like the way she does to him.

:unsure:

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well you can't save people from themselves...but yes, I hate to see people in unhealthy relationships too. :innocent:

 

I have never dated my pdd partner but I always fantasize that I will find a pdd partner and we will date and marry adn dance together forever. :innocent: Probably won't happen!! :D

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Well, I've dated some of my partners, and just hung out with others, and some I had a continuing fighting relationship with, but the one thing they all loved to do was go to the ballet! That way I always had a congenial seatmate, even the ones who did nothing but fight otherwise!

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In terms of an on and off stage pdd couple, a recent review of the Pennsylvania Ballet's Romeo and Juliet stated that "[t]he production also features a Romeo and Juliet, Zachery Hench and Julie Diana, who are a real life couple, a pairing that lends immediacy and depth to their performances."

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When it comes to romance, it is difficult to advise (probably impossible) anyone about anything. Foolhardy too, in my opinion.

 

As an amateur adult ballet dancer, I too have trouble relating to “long term partnering,” something beyond a single performance at some event. I have not experienced that.

 

But once upon a time I was a ballroom dancer, where longer term partnering was the norm. I went through 3 ballroom partners. Each followed the same pattern.

 

1. The infatuation stage—my partner is wonderful, beautiful dancer, we have so much in common (with respect to dance). This is terrific.

 

2. The helping stage—I have a great partner, but (he or she) seems to make this same mistake over and over. I’ll work hard to help (him or her) overcome that. Life is still wonderful.

 

3. The reality stage—I have worked with (him or her) over and over and (he or she) still goofs us up in the same way. (He or she) is just dense. We are never going to be any good unless (he or she) makes a major change. Life is difficult, isn’t it?

 

4. The divorce stage—I can’t take this any more. (He or she) is a great person, but as a dance partner I need someone else. Life is &^$%.

 

For that reason, I’ve always encouraged adult (i.e., old enough to rent a car, buy a house, have a career) ballroom dancers not to partner with a spouse or significant other. This probably doesn’t apply to younger dancers, however. Perhaps not ballet partnerships either, I don't know.

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As it is, there are many on-and-off stage couples, even in the world of ballet.... some make it, some don't, which I guess would be true in any situation, except that it would be hard to get 'space' if it didn't work, especially if you were often cast together.... nonetheless, I do wonder how it would affect me personally... alas, I've never even had a remote crush on a pdd partner... sometimes even, quite the opposite!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

 

But hey, my life is mad boring usually, so the extra drama might be a good thing! :party:

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well said, lampwick!! :party:

Well, now that he's still dating the wicked and spoilt girl, I'd just stay put and quiet about the way i feel. :) It's very easy to dance a romantic pas de deux with him, at least for my part, I don't need to act at all. :blushing:

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hi dancing dentist, do you think he knows? :grinning:

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does he know what, cassy? that i like him, or that the girl he's currently dating is such a "*@!;~#?!@!" ?

I don't know if he knows that I like him to be more than just a pdd partner. He's a bit insensitive.. :grinning: Besides, I'm not very good in making the first move. :wub:

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Profesionally, I totally agree. But love is not professional. When it calls, what else can you do but to answer it?  :grinning:

Me and my partner actually went out together, but when we were about to move on to a more serious term, he decided to back out with that professional reason thing. He's been dating a non-dancer for some time now. His girlfriend is a jealous girl, she calls him on his mobile phone so often during our rehearsals, and she would get positively mad if he doesn't answer her calls, she would accuse him anything. Once, she actually refused to see our performance. She waited for him in the car, so after the performance, my partner was obliged to change in a lightspeed and left directly.

I never say a word to him, because it's his own decision to date that girl. but I personally feel very sorry for him. But as long as he doesn't complain, I won't say a word. But I do feel sorry, he's a very nice guy, he doesn't deserve to be treated like the way she does to him.

:wub:

 

Dancing Dentist,

Rather than counsel you about dating your PDD partner, which is certainly not unheard of in this world, what I would like to do is point out to you that he is already dating someone...this is red flag # 1!

 

If he leaves this girl, and begins immediately dating you, chances are very good that you'll end up being the "spoilt, jealous girlfriend" in the none-too-distant future.

 

If however, he breaks it off with this girl, tells you he needs a break to be single & figure out why he gets into these situations (say, at least a few months), and then asks you out, I would not hesitate!

 

Just some sage advice from one who has been there, done that, wrote the *&^%%$$# book!

 

Clara 76

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what I would like to do is point out to you that he is already dating someone...this is red flag # 1

 

Instead of a red flag, some may consider the other girl a "minor detail". A "technicality" as it were :devil: Just kidding, of course.

 

I'm horrible at letting the guy know I like him. Usually, I end up being mean and ignoring the guy I like, like a stupid shy 12 year old. Someone else always gets him and I am mad. I totally hear what you're saying. :(

 

Guys can't read body language or your mind or anything. They're clueless.

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