parents

[dancetolive]

i would really like to go pro, serious i would dance 24/7. but my mother does not think it is good for me to do something that much. calls it obsecion. it is not more like passonite. she cut me down to 3 classes (plus rehersal) and thats it( we cant really afford any more ). and on top of that she is always discouraging me from taking ballet. like for example... do u really have to go to class today? wouldnt you rather go to the mall with your friends? NO i would not. things like that. plus she leaves the house 5 minutes before class is going to start, even though i have all my sisters in the car ready to go, i even have the car started for her.

 

and she also dosnt trust the descion of my teacher, who has taught for over 17 years.my teacher said that i was ready for pointe but my mom is like i dont know maybe later?? ugggg. ( oh and when i looked my teachers name up on google, monique melton, it said star of american ballet and grand prix italy??? whats that all about?) any way got side tracked. the main, point my mom dosnt support me.... dad thinks its great that im in a "athletic" activiy. and i cant do pointe till febuary!!! How do i get my mom to support me???

Edited November 8, 2005 by dancetolive

[Mel Johnson]

February is only a matter of a few weeks away, now. You can wait.

 

But let me get this straight: Your mom is encouraging you to become a mall rat?

[dancetolive]

yes

[Guest afroballet01]

My parents don't really support my dancing either.

 

They would rather me do track (which I also love,but not as much as ballet) because it isn't so expensive.Pretty much to them,dance is just something that they have to provide transportation to and from.They don't want to accept that I like it more than track either...They don't understand how important dance is to me,and they say it is like an obesssion (which you all would understand).They support track a lot more,and they expect me to just drop dance for the track season.This year,I don't even want to do track,I just want to dance more.My parents are completely ridiculous about the whole thing because they say dance takes up too much time,yet they let me do track which is 5 days a week for 2 hours!

[Guest afroballet01]

[Guest allthatjazz]

Oh boy. That's like my mother with my music lessons. Only thing is that I'm a talented musician, I dance just to keep in...shape-ish. As much as I love it, I know I'll never go anywhere with it. ><;;

[dancetolive]

Pretty much to them,dance is just something that they have to provide transportation to and from.

 

thatts exactly how my mom and dad is. i would give anything to have those supportive parents that would do anything for you. like thoses moms who wanted to be professional and so their daughters take their place.... i wish.

[Guest afroballet01]

Oh man...So would I!

[biners6]

Don't glamorize the stage mother, though! My parents are very supportive of my dancing and have driven and come to countless hours of performances, but they were never stage parents, or the kind of parents who volunteer for everything at the studio. I have always researched my own SIs, taken the initiative to audition, done college and company research myself, etc. Now I realize how valuable it is the I've learned to be self-directed. I know that I'm dancing because I really LOVE it, not because my parents have pushed me into it, and when I go into the real world of dance, I will be used to handling things on my own.

That said, I am sorry your parents aren't more supportive of your dancing. There's a big difference between parents who are supportive without being pushy, and parents who just aren't supportive at all.

[Guest theskysthelimit]

My parents are supportive...but I think thats because I don't really want to dance as a dancer. I'm more interested in choreography and arts admin. I get support from my Gran who used to dance, so I talk to her about ballet more than my parents. I think the trick is to convince your parents you are serious, and don't let your school grades drop. Thats when my parental units get suspicious.

[dancinginthesnow]

My parents arent supportive either. Like every day my mom metions, "you want to do this for a job?" and i say yes and she talks about how dancers don't earn very much money. She keeps trying to get me to be a lawyer or a pharmisist and she just doesn't get it. It took me forever to just convince them to let me audition not to mention go away to summer courses. Just remember, its your life, not hers.

[aletheia146]

Yeah, my parents' dream for me is to become a doctor. They're okay when my brother says he wants to be a cellist or a soccer player, but when I mention dance it's like, "But they're so busy; you can only perform for so long; what if you get hurt; money issues", etc.

I've found that if you're dedicated to things like school, they're more willing to let you do something like dance. My parents have never explicitly said they'd take me out of dance for ballet, but I know what they mean...

I think they just want you to be successful - talk to your teachers about scholarships, see if you can carpool sometimes, and prove to your parents that you love them, love dance, and can still maintain academic excellence.

[janninepointe]

=( Doesn't everyone have the same probems? grr...Transportation and all other opurtunities. I have to take the bus and walk 15 minutes almost everyday to get to my dance studio which takes about 3/4 of an hour whereas it takes 10 min by car. My parents also want me to always become something academic, my drama and english teachers want, me to become an actress. Even worse my physics teacher wants me to become a physics person!!! and my ballet teacher thinks I should do ballet =) Life is sooo complicated! Everyone thinks it would be a waste of a great mind although dacing is one thing I really truly enjoy and do for myself not to only please others. Sometimes I wish my parents had been more supportive and put me in a pre-pro school. But they don't even agree to pay for it all, so Im paying for twoo lessons it with my own babysitting and allowance. I'm hoping to also look into modelling for some extra money as all my friends do!

[Guest xballetdreamsx]

My dad is very supportive. I've mentioned that I might want to go pro to him and he doesn't seem to disapprove. He says as long as I'm doing something I love as a job, then that's fine.

 

My mom on the other hand isn't very supportive... she thinks it takes too much of my time. Since it's an hour and 15 minute drive to my dance studio, she always says, "There has to be something you would rather be doing than cutting that much time out of your week to just DRIVE there." and she worries about things like me not making enough money if I did go pro, the fact that I would probably have to move out of the state if I *did* go pro, and what dance does to your body (she cringes each time she sees a dancer come out of pointe class with bleeding toes or a blister. ).

 

But like everyone else said, don't give up on your dream. If you really want it, there's always a way to make it happen.

[Guest jballet]

I know how tough this is, but all of you - hang in there. If parents were non-dancers, they don't always understand exactly what ballet means to their children. They do have some valid concerns though:

1) To be professional (actually earn enough to live on) you must be super, super, talented. You can't get away with "good", you have to be "great"

2) One injury can end your entire career. One of my friends was about to join the Boston Ballet as a full company member when she injured her hip. She went to months and months of (excruciating) physical therapy, doctors visits and x-rays. Even though she spent literaly thousands of dollars and even more hours, she never got better and the company couldn't wait anymore.

3) Sometimes, parents don't always get that your friends are at the studio. They think you are neglecting your non-dance friends even if they are non-exsistent. The thing to remember is to occasionally have a dance-buddy over to show that you aren't a non-social dance freak.

Right now, I am on a dance-sabatical for the rest of this year (until next September). It has been extremely hard to accept my parents judgement, but they do have my best interest at heart. Showing that you trust them will get much better results than being defiant. Remeber, no matter how bad things get, it's always worth it.