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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Lack of interest or needed break? Losing focus?


have pointe shoes will travel

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The point isn't the number of turns. The point is I know something happens at 14. For some kids it's a piece of cake. For others, not so much.

 

I have been dreading this age because of what happened to a friend's 14 year old a few years ago. Did you see the movie, "13"? Have you read "Reviving Ophelia"? Unfortunately, that really happens. That's what parents have to watch out for at this age these days.

 

ps: I'll relax when she's 30! :wink:

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As an update: My DD that was in a "slump" over Christmas seems to be back to her old self :wink: She is working hard YAGP and auditioning for SIs. The previous thread really helped me to get through her "slump" because I felt like I had someone or many that understood and had gone through a similar thing. Whether your child dances or not, it is always challenging to hit a new developmental stage. I'm learning this year (14) how to parent a different person. She is growing into being independent, but still a child. As with all things, its takes patience and wisdom to know when to speak and when to listen.

 

Still learning,

ccdancer :)

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ps: I'll relax when she's 30!

No you won't. My grandmother is 96. Her children are 72 and 65. She worries about them everyday. My uncle went to Europe and she scolded him terribly for "not calling her when he got there". My mother needed blood drawn and she called to see if my mother wanted her to come and hold her hand so she wouldn't faint.

 

For all the joy and the heartache, you'll still be worrying for a long time. :offtopic:

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I have been dreading this age because of what happened to a friend's 14 year old a few years ago.

 

 

Rhapsody, as the saying goes "Don't borrow trouble". I know exactly the trepidation you feel heading into age 14 knowing how what it brought to your friend's daughter. However, you must keep in mind the circumstances of your friend's daughter's situation, her temperament, her mental condition, etc., etc.,---chances are they aren't the same as your daughter's. And, forewarned is forearmed.

 

"Reviving Ophelia" can be a very scary book, no doubt. Has your daughter read that book? Doing so and then discussing with her about how much those vignettes scare you and asking her what she perceives as causing those girls to end up where they did might surprise you. You'll probably find out that your DD's head is screwed on quite nicely.

 

Lastly, keep in mind your own observation: "The power of suggestion must be very strong at this age or something." If you telegraph or constantly tell her that you expect her to morph into something unrecognizable, she may get tired of fighting that fear or perception and ---just do it.

 

Barring rare circumstances, you and your DD will make it through age 14 just fine. It may not be fun, but you will make it through.

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That's good advice: Don't borrow trouble is something I have to keep in mind.

 

Off topic:

 

My daughter has not read the book (Ophelia). Did you share this with your daughter? How was it received?

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Yes, my older DD read both the original "Ophelia" book and the later one written by a teenage girl. (I'm sorry, I have both books somewhere, but I can't remember the name of the second one). She read those when she was in 6th or 7th grade on her own violition. At first, I wasn't sure I thought it was a good idea when I realized she had picked them up to read. I think I was afraid the books would "give her ideas" (yeah, just like my Mom thought the Three Stooges would give US ideas! :) ) But then we had a number of conversations about things in the books after she read them and I realized it was a very good thing she had read the book. We continued to have discussions that touched on things in those books over the next few years. We also both read "Queen Bees" and discussed the various topics that brought up. Again, I'd gotten it to read and she just picked it up when it was laying around.

 

I felt it was very helpful (especially to me) that she had read those books and that we could discuss them and discuss how/whether the various scenarios applied to her life or her friends/acquaintances.

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