Nasty Ballet Moms

[Nerina]

I've just read a thread on parents complaining about other ballet moms bragging like mad, lying about their DD's age (to bag better parts), and just being plain nasty about their DD's.

 

About a year ago we experienced an example of this at national competition level. All the dancers' tutu's were hung in the dressing room, each on its own peg. At one time everyone must have left the room, exept the nasty mom in question.

 

When the rest of the dancers appeared, they one by one discovered that their tutu's had Coca-Cola stains all over them. Every single one of them, exept of course the DD with the vengeful mom! Some of the girls dropped out of the competition, but the less faint of heart went out there covered in brown stains. How can a parent who knows how much ballet means to her own child, ruin another dancer's day? Has anyone else experienced these mean mommy's?

[missy12784]

Oh yes, I have definently had my experience of bad moms. Which are no longer at the studio. Both moms were very rich and thought that by paying for more classes would automatically get their daughters the lead roles. They weren't even that good anyway.

[Nerina]

Sadly that is mostly the case with mean moms, their daughters really aren't that good. A touch of insecurity, maybe?

[Guest Anindya Krisna]

Yes, I have had an experience with a nasty ballet mom AND her two DDs!

 

The mother and her daughters apparently did not favor me very much, although I never did anything to them that deserved such nasty treatment. The nasty thing the DDs did to me? They stole my valuable belonging. I found out about it a year later, by accident. And no they were not girls who came from a poor family. They admitted that they did it simply because they hated me. How sick is that? And of course there were these endless, entirely untrue rumors about me that they made and passed on directly to the school director so as to give me a bad reputation. The truth eventually came up to the surface and everything is clear now. I get along with the rest of the school just fine. I even got appointed as a teacher, handling pre-ballet and beginner classes. It goes to show that hard work speaks louder than lousy words and actions.

 

The mother never apologized for what her daughters did to me, although she was completely aware of what was happening. I did not even tell my own parents about this as I wished to remain 'neutral'.

 

I understand that the dance world is a highly competitive place. But it doesn't mean that it can be filled with 'criminals', people who think they can do ANYthing to get their own way. Dance is a beautiful art form that is far, far from cruel. What is cruel is the people, and not everyone, only some... unlucky ones. A touch of insecurity, maybe.

 

I hope by sharing my experience people like me will have more courage to fight this unpleasant phenomenon.

[ddm3]

I am sorry to hear that. It sounds deplorable. Over the years, I have definitely come across many mom's and dads (don't want to exclude them) who boast and brag, tell untruths about acceptances and scholarships to various programs, but I have never come across a parent who actually damaged personal property. Sounds like the Tanya Harding episode. I know it happens, but I haven't encountered it. Knock on wood! I think that for the most part, the kids aren't the ones who cause the tension. If we set examples for our kids, ie refrain from talking in a negative, competitive manner about other dancers, our kids will all find a way to get along with eachother. Kid's do live by example. If we spread negativity around, our kids may grow up to be negative adults. Beyond ballet, that is just not a healthy way to live one's life.

[Nerina]

That is so true! I count myself lucky to have parents who is interested in and supportive of my dancing, but never encourages unhealthy competition between me and fellow students. I had overheard at competitions and examinations mothers telling their DD's beforehand that: "The one with the red tutu has a backside like a rhinocerous." or "She has terrible feet, nothing to worry about there."

[Guest Anindya Krisna]

I never thought I would experience something like that either, because before I met those irresponsible people, my relationship with the others in the ballet school was okay. I never encoutered such problems before I met them. But I guess that's how life is. At some point in your life you get to meet one of those deceitful people. At least, now I know how painful it is to be treated that way, therefore I wouldn't ever want to treat others like that.

[Guest AmoBallare]

It's so horrible, but they do exist, EVERYWHERE! There have been plenty of competitions where things have been stolen (ie: shoes, accessories, etc) to prevent dancers from performing. They stop at nothing, which is so sad! Where do they think the kids get it from? Also, I'll never forget this moment from my first convention that I ever went to. A 6 year old (yes a little one doing a full day workshop) left the floor for a quick breather and drink of water and her mother flipped out, threw the bottle in her face as she pushed her back on the floor. I couldn't believe it, I felt so bad for her!!

[Nerina]

Horrible! I've seen a mother smacking her daughter (also very tiny) because she was pulling at her tights, (they make you itch sometimes!) and they got a run in them right before going on stage in a competition. She was crying her heart out , and I thought that her mother wouldn't let her go on stage like that (mine wouldn't). No such luck! Mommy dearest practically pushed her onto stage hissing warnings in her ear...

[dancemaven]

I'm seeing a trend in this thread: "at competitions".

[Nerina]

True, though you see some meanies at class and audition as well, they seem to "lose it" especially when in a competition situation.