Just plain rude

[ashatNYU]

Hi All,

 

I just need an outlet for my frustration right now, and I know this is the place for that! Last night in my regular class we had a new student. No big deal for us, we usually all introduce ourselves or at least smile and say hello. She apparently wanted none of that and proceded to take a place at the barre. My teacher gave her most of the regular corrections about using natural turnout (especially since she said it was her first class in three years) and not expecting to automatically be at the level at which she left ballet. The student gave her a hard time, but seemed to let the issue go. Then, in tendus, she used port de bras, when we were specifically asked to keep our arms in second (it's a beginner class and some people get easily confused ). My teacher asked her again to please keep her arm in second and the girl snapped that this was her class and she could do whatever she wanted.

 

Well! Needless to say she was asked to leave and was escorted out of the classroom by another faculty member, meanwhile shouting obsenities at the teacher! Later one of the other students told us how the student had told her that she used to be a professional dancer. I cannot believe the nerve of some people and the disrespect toward my teacher, school and the art of ballet in general!

 

 

Thanks for letting me vent!!

[kellylynn]

Wow. Well I don't think you have to worry about that anymore because I doubt she will return...or even be allowed to return. It sounds to me that she once considered herself very good at ballet and isn't yet ready to "start over." Its tough...alot of women I dance with (myself included) were very serious about ballet as a young girl and coming to the realization that your body can no longer do what it once did kinda stinks. Although, it also seems that she was suffering from some sort of chemical imbalance and her frustrations with her dancing (or lack there of) is no excuse to behave that way.

 

We have a student like that in my school. I would say she is an advanced beginner but at my school there is only a slow beginner class and a difficult intermeddiate one. She is in her late thirties or early forties and she is probably one of the most obnoxious people ever. In every beginner class she makes comments on how she is too "good" to be there but continues to come every single week. When she tried the harder class she couldn't handle it and came running back to beginner. Some of the teenagers take beginner from time to time and she always complains that she cannot take a "childrens" class. And she has no tact when it comes to hiding her feelings. She constantly complains to the management about any little thing in class that wasn't up to her standards and if there is a conversation going on in the locker room she will always give her nasty two cents about it. However, we are all good at ignoring it. It's not personal..the lady's gots some problems. Too bad ballet doesn't seem to be helping. I know it helps me!

[TemptressToo]

There is a girl in my Wednesday night intermediate class who is 15. However, she is a very big girl (both tall and wide). She's been dancing for some years (I believe she said 8 but I'm not sure). She takes pointe at another studio (one known for its jazz and avoided by ballet people). In all honesty, she shouldn't be on pointe and her technique is crap. In the beginning, she said she came to our studio to better her technique but obviously has not worked on it...she's still doing the same things she did since last August.

 

Anyway, she always comes into class after her other studio pointe class and immediately starts into "I can do this, can you?" Or, "can you do this?" Or she attempts to give you corrections or she babbles on and on about nothing at all. It gets very, very irritating and some days I feel like I'm in 4th grade on the monkey bars watching someone hang upside down. Most of the other adults look at her like she's crazy.

 

Some days, I can't take it any more and I'll snap, "if I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it." Or, "this isn't grade school." She just really gets under my skin (especially when she follows me around the studio making it impossible to simply avoid her). I suppose I could ask her to please go away.

 

Any words of advice on getting her to shut her trap?

[Swiss_Chard]

I think her evil twin must have used to come to our studio. We had a woman turn up to the Beginners class who was exceedingly full of herself. She perpetually showed off, talking about her previous training and offering unwanted advice to other students. One day at the barre, she turned to me and said, 'I thought this class was going to be for real dancers to work on their basics, not just people who came in off the street.' I looked at her and said, 'I just came in off the street' and went back to stretching, while another classmate could hardly contain her laughter. Fortunately, this woman no longer comes to class. The funny thing was that she really wasn't that good.

[Mel Johnson]

The old saying was that "There's one at every bar." Now we can update it to "There's one at every barre."

[Claude_Catastrophique]

OMG, I am a happy girl, I have never experienced this in my class or in another class. It is in credible how impolite some people can be. I mean, hello, there are some basic rules you use everywhere not only in a ballet class. I hope I will never experience this.

[lampwick]

People,

 

You never know what someone's "story" is. Mental illnesses/previous drug abuse/bad experiences can change people's perceptions and behavior. But they may in fact be a kind, intellegent individual but not quite act the same as "normal".

 

Try to be not so judgemental. People can say all they want and act they way they want...no skin off your back, you know.

 

Maybe try talking to the "crazy" people. They ARE people, with feelings. Oftentimes , kind of interesting people

[gogators]

The sad fact is that you will come across rude people in all walks of life. For some reason, tennis seems to attract a larger than normal no. of rude people. I've seen some of the same types of rude behavior posted here when I used to play tennis (for fun). And like these examples posted here, most of the rude people I knew in tennis weren't that good either...

[TemptressToo]

I'll take "mental illness" for $100.

 

Honestly, I don't think it is that...I think it is just immaturity (of note, she should not be in an adult class). In fact I've even asked, "why aren't you in a class with your age group?" That usually shuts her up (because the truth of the matter is, despite knowing a lot of tricks...she has no technique and it is quite obvious).

 

Should I do or say anything at all to her? Or continue running and hiding when she shows up? ;) I have no patience for children (truth...none of my own at age 28).

[kellylynn]

Lampwick...I totally agree. However, when someone has to get ESCORTED out of class for yelling obsenities at the teacher...well...that's just CRAZY. I've never seen that happen. I don't believe the lady in my school has a mental illness I think she is just a b!tch. I think mel is right about there being "one at every barre." Although I have been lucky enough to be able to dance with alot of really nice women and men who are anything but rude. A couple of people come in everynow and again who have motives other than dancing on their mind (like just being a royal pain in the butt) and I've found that those people don't wind up sticking around too long.

 

As far as the 15 year old girl is concerned....she's fifteen. That's how 15 year olds are. There are a couple of beginner girls around that age at my studio and they are the same exact way. It's annoying but they are 15. What can you do. Some of them are still very childish in alot of ways. Its also a really competitive age. I just smile and nod.

[ashatNYU]

Lampwick, I do see where you are coming from. Maybe I painted too gross a picture; she didn't need to be carried out of the class room ... just needed someone to come in and show her that SHE wasn't the one in charge.

 

I just have to wonder (if she ever did dance professionally) who would have put up with her behavior, mental illness or not.