My friends have turned on me!

[MeAgain]

Hello!!

My name is Rachel, and I havn't posted in a while!! So hi again!!

 

So, Anyway, I go to danse class with these two girls (let's call them Sarah and Jane)

They used to be good friends of mine, until this year, when things started getting ugly.

I used to go to a kind of dolly-dinklish school with Sarah and Jane. I realized that the ballet there was not helping me at all, so in January I started taking ballet classes at a more professional school. (I still take modern and one ballet class at the dolly dinkle, though.) Anyway, I guess Sarah and Jane somehow got mad at me for taking ballet elsewhere. I explained to them that I really love ballet and i needed to do this, and then they deemed me as "ballet obsessed", which I guess isn't SO bad.

 

But this is: I think to somehow "get back" at me, they're always fooling around and disrupting everyone in the ballet class i take with them. They NEVER did this before. They think they're quite hilarious when they do their plies doubly fast, or do a grande battement on purpose instead of a devellope. It makes me furious when they giggle behind the teachers back after she corrects them.

And whenever they see me practicing ballet steps in between classes, they yell at me and call me obsessed. I know they really don't enjoy ballet, but do they have to hate me because I do?

I really want to be freinds with them again. How do I get them to stop??

(sorry if i didn't make sense. I never do. and sorry for the really long post!!)

[Victoria Leigh]

Rachel, it's a matter of priorities. If you are serious about ballet, then cultivate your friends from others who are serious about it, or those who respect it. The ones you mention are not your friends. And, I think probably it would be best to divorce yourself from that school altogether.

[Nerina]

Hi, Rachel! But you DO make sense - to me at least! I have a Sarah and Jane in my class too. They are horrible!! They make fun at everything we (the serious ones) do. They come to class dressed in whatever they like, and poke fun at our leotards and tights, how hard we work, even the buns on our heads!!!! Meanwhile they look like potato sacks in their casual wear and hair flopping about all over the place. Crazy!!

[Victoria Leigh]

The problem with this scenario is that the school allows this kind of attire and behavior. I would run, not walk, to find a serious studio if you are serious about ballet.

[CEO]

I completely agree run, not walk! My DD had a similar situation several years ago. She ended up leaving and taking her other classes (jazz & modern) once a week at a different non-professional ballet school. She made new friends at this school who appreciated her love of ballet and affectionately called her "twinkle toes" or "bun head". Over the years she has had to let a lot of friendships or so called friendships die. Unfortunately, that's what happens when you're serious about something most kids your age can't understand.

 

By the way, my DD recently ran into the group of girls who were mean to her and disrespectful back then. Now, over 4 years later, they were very kind and wanted to talk to my DD about of all things...ballet.

[pinkpointes101]

Rachel, I agree with everyone else...if the teachers at your current ballet school are letting their students act this crazy, you should really find a more professional school. I know that if someone acted this rudely in my ballet class, they'd have to have a serious talk with the principle.

 

As for the friend trouble, I don't understand why people would act differently toward a dancer. I have never had this problem, and neither have anyone that I know who does ballet. Usually people think it's cool and/or amazing how we take so much dance in a week, and are so committed!

[~DaNcInQuEeN~]

"I know they really don't enjoy ballet, but do they have to hate me because I do? I really want to be freinds with them again. How do I get them to stop??" (I can't figure out how to quote )

 

Rachel,

 

A had a ballet friend nastiness experience also last year. Things just got out of control and ugly, but I still wanted to be friends. It was so hard to let go after being "best friends" the previous year.

 

It even affected my dancing. The student has waged a war on our class; asking people if they were on "her side" or "our side". This distracted me during classes because I would only pay attention to what the student was saying about me. She would constantly make fun of me, as your friends do to you. It took me a year to "get over" her and NOT want to be friends.

 

I would not try to get them to stop their disruptive behavior. My advice to you would be to just forget about them. It is soo hard to, but really necessary if you want to focus on your passion. It may seem important to remain friends, but their actions already show you that they don't care to respect you. The shouldn't hate you for liking ballet! I agree that you should search for a pre-pro school where you can be "ballet-obsessed" without the friendship troubles.

 

Good Luck!

[MeAgain]

Thank you everyone for all your advice! I kinda knew deep down that leaving would be the right choice.

It's gonna be really, really hard because my absoloute best friend goes to that studio with me, and it's basically the only time I see her. (I'm always busy on other days.) She, of course, wants me to stay.

 

I'm really worried about next year. I have no idea were I'm going to go. Everywhere is just to expensive or too far away. At this point, I feel like I should just give up ballet alltogether.

 

Anyway, thanks again for the advice. Buh-bye!

[Guest star_reacher]

Rachel ,

 

I have a few kids in my class who are not that serious also. There ALWAYS are kids that are not serious, and sometimes you just need to face it. Everyday people goes through this problem, even in different occupations. You know, these kids might even be jealous of you and now they are just trying to hide their sadness that they know that you might get somewhere in dance and they might not go anywhere!!

 

When you pay attention in class, like I hear you are doing, the dance teachers notice this and are delighted to know that you are working hard. They probably know that those other students do not work hard, and they are not happy with that. Just remember to always be on your good side, and try to put away those feelings for the other girls. I am hoping that they come to their senses and realize what trouble they have been making, and how they have hurt you in a way.

 

Rachel, I hope everything goes well for you! Good, good luck!!

 

<3 star_reacher <3[/color]

[MeAgain]

I kinda have to deal with them for another five months, until the semester-end recital. My mother, of course, would never dream of taking me out of that studio after she payed for all of the costumes deposits, and tuition.

 

For now, I'll just try not to say anything stupid, and see if they get better. Yesterday in class the teacher had to actually place them on different bars. Now if that doesn't show immaturity, I don't know what does.

 

I know I sound kinda mean the way I'm talking about them. Obviously I'm not the perfect picture of obedience in class either. They aren't that bad, after all. I just have to deal for the next few months.

 

-Ayway-

 

Thanks (again) for everyone's advice. Bye!

[Guest hdbdancer]

hi! im so sorry that you friends would do that to tou! i know that my ballet friends might get mad at me some times but i usually bring it on myself so this situation is confussing, but i would suggest quitting the ballet class with them to fully focus on ballet and hopefully time and them not being able to bother you heal there grudge against your decition, or (the harder way... ) of cronfrunting your friends and saysing that they might not like that you are taking ballet more seriously, and if they really think that just because of that you somehow have betrayed your friendship, than mabey they she should think about how she is betraying your friend ship as well by not giving you the least bit of support on your future dicitions. i hope that wasent to harsh! but thats what i think, -- good luck!

 

[Edited by Victoria Leigh to remove quote and correct computerspeak.]

[Victoria Leigh]

hdbdancer, I have just sent you an email. Please read it and let me know that you have read it. Thank you!

[VBTClara05]

Wow, I didn't know other people have that problem too. But at my studio-you must dress properly or you can't take calss. My teacher gets so frustrated sometimes because some girls see class as a social gathering and don't pay attention. When she sees that someone doesn't know the combination, she makes us start over. It's really annoying(referring to the girls that talk) . And also there are girls in my class that make fun of me and call me obsessed because I take extra classes. I know exactly how you feel. I'm sorry I don't know how to help you, I'm still looking for a solution to the problem myself! But I'll let you know if I can do anything.