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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Help Getting Mom on board for Serious Training

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I don't know what to do about my mom. She's driving me crazy. She's always outraged at how all the other girls are so obsessed with what level they are in. And she thinks it's horrible that they are so competitive and that you should dance soley for fun. I say they but I mean we because I don't agree with her at all. I don't just dance for fun I dance because that's what I do. I just found out I'm in level 3 next year and this is how she told me "You got in level 3, not that it matters because we probably aren't coming back next year, but you got level 3" She just doesn't get it and I don't know how to tell her.

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TyneeDancer you sound so frustrated. For now, try to think of the positives you have before you. You love to dance and you feel secure in this. This is a very good thing. I am not sure if you are happy you are in Level 3 or not. In many schools that is a very nice accomplishment.


Sometimes it can be difficult to speak with our loved ones, but over time we begin to smooth over the bumps and recognize that the bumps were all part of the long journey. Hopefully a moderator who has more experience with family counseling will be able to answer you very soon.

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Ballet mom knocking...


Maybe your mom is just trying to protect you (and herself) by trying to keep the competition and stress out of dancing, by acting as if it doesn't matter to you or to her. Once you both admit that this is a serious career goal, it will be hard for her to not care about levels and casting and SI acceptances, etc. because she will understand that they all play a part in the training you receive. I have a feeling that she is a little bit afraid of admitting that this is a serious pursuit for you, because once she does, she will have to invest more of her own emotions in the process, because she cares about you!


Try to find a time when you are not already discussing ballet or the other girls that frustrate your mom and sit down and calmly talk to your mom about ballet and why it is important to you. Ask her for her support. Encourage her to get some education about the ballet training process (invite her to join BT). Tell her that you want her to be your biggest fan and supporter and that you need for her to care about your training and help you get the level of training that you need to reach your goals.


If it would be easier and avoid confrontation, write it all down in a letter. Sometimes this is a good idea if something is very touchy. You can really think about what you write and how you write it and she can think before she responds to you. Best of luck!


I'm going to move this to the Pre-Pro General Discussion forum, where both students and parents are free to answer. You might get more input there.

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