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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Support group time!!


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Well. it's early in the morning here and I just couldn't sleep. Two days and counting until DD leaves. This is like a roller coaster! I go through worrying in the wee hours of the night about the littlest thing I have to tell her before she goes, but I know she would think I'm crazy if I woke her up to tell her so I jot it down and have a list of "Important " discussion topcs ready to go before her eyes open to the morning light! Then in a few days she'll finally ship off and I'll go through the same sleepless scenario until I hear the tone in her voice on the phone saying she is all settled in, again telling her over the phone all the "Important" discussion items I've been jotting down in the middle of the night...did I tell you all I don't like roller coasters? :green:

On the other hand,I'm truly getting very excited for her and appreciate the support of the other mothers on this board. A public thank you to mc,especially, for the extra care of a special package.

:)

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Well, for me it's been almost 24 hours since I drove away, alone. :(

 

Note to others out there..don't expect a "Norman Rockwell" moment. They very rarely ever happen that way, especially when we just know that THIS time it will! :shrug:

 

DD and I were crabby with each other that last morning. :green:

 

(sorry you have to be witness, beckyb!) But, what I realized while driving away, is we seem to do this every time we make a significant parting. Every time. I think it's both of our defense mechanism in dealing with the situation. It works for us. Usually the drive off is followed by a phone call a few minutes later saying our "real" goodbyes. Not this time, she was off having too much fun in her new environment!!! :party:

 

The phone calls last night were quick, and quiet. But then again, THEY ALWAYS ARE!!!! Why did I think that moving across the country would make them any different??? :shrug: It is something I will have to get over. There will probably never be the long, drawn out, heart-to heart conversations, but then again, I never had them BEFORE. Why should I think that in a place where she is going to be busy from sun-up to sun-down, she is even going to have TIME to call??!! At the end of the evening I suggested emailing me each day to tell me the answers to all the questions she KNEW I was going to ask, and then calling me to tell me she did, and to say good night. I'll report back to let you know if that actually happens AND if it works!

 

At the end of the day, DD seemed happy but exhausted. She made good friends, met long lost others, snagged a great roomie, organized her room herself :) , did the "booty-dance" (inside joke) and was feeling her first reat taste of independence...

 

 

and up until writing this...

 

 

Mom hadn't cried. :crying:

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Wow, this thread reminds me of last fall when I dropped off my daughter to her first away from home year round program! The last minute conversations, the roller coaster of emotions, the excitement of something new. Your relationship with your child changes the day they walk out that door. The sadness for me was the mourning of the loss of the rituals that we had developed as mother and daughter. The first three months were tough. She was so far away. Knowing she was happy made things a little easier. What I didn't anticipate was homesickness by October, because she's a tough kid. A very wise teacher told me that if the dancer can survive that first semester being away from home, then the rest of the year would be okay.....and she was right! Phone calls from them hold a new "importance" in your life and so much more appreciated as you get glimpses of their new and exciting academic and dance life. So hang in there. It does get better!

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lsu,

 

Thanks for the heads-up about the delayed homesickness. DD has never really experienced this over the few weeks of the summer. However, this will be a bit more of a test.

 

I can relate to the :) that comes out as the departure time approaches. There are so many things to be done, and someone has to be the task master. However, in my case sometimes, I'm really verbalizing the things that have frustrated me about myself.

 

I do keep having bouts with "things I have not told her." I have a bit of a laundry list going. When I bring things up she rolls her eyes, and reminds me I'm simply nuts!

 

Life IS good. :green:

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DD leaves in a week and we still haven't packed anything yet. Can you say "denial"...

 

2daisygirl: Thanks for bringing a smile of recognition: this is so me just now!! DD leaves a week from tomorrow. I think the family was savoring the few weeks of "normalcy" we had together between summer program and DD leaving for her first year at residency. We were protective of that time and didn't want it interrupted by the logistics of preparation. Also, for DD's little sister's sake we didn't want their summer time together to be all residency talk, etc. But, yep, there's also been an element of "denial." Problem is, DD is flying internationally. I HAVE to stop procrastinating and focus in order to figure out how to fit things in two suitcases! :) And just today I realized I'm running out of iron-on name tags, LOL. . . Still, I think we'll try to pack during the daytime hours that Sis is in school. That's the main thing I'm dreading: not hearing their chatter and laughter each evening. They are each other's biggest fans. Like someone said: "Happy for her; sad for us."

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On the opposite front, my DD and her athlete sister have never been close. I just about FAINTED when the night before we left, I saw TEARS from the younger!!!! While we were gone, she spent the hours making signs for her sister to hang on her dorm door, and shopped with her Godmother for things to send in the mail to her. She even wrote her a letter :o and put a few pictures of the two of them as young "sisters" in it. (she still doesn't know that I know) :party:

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We haven't started packing, either, and we've got a week to go as well. I wouldn't say it's denial, just more that its all so overwhelming. But, I'm a good last-minute packer, so we should be fine. So far, we've just got the huge pile of things to pack, and that just keeps growing. (Especially each time I come across something new in the handbook!) :rolleyes:

 

We've just been spending time doing all those "wish we would've" activities, like going out for smoothies, playing mini-golf, that sort of thing. And who can send a kid off to residency without a few farewell rounds of "Dance Dance Revolution" at the arcade?? :D (I won't embarass him by saying that I beat him 2 out of 3 rounds. Oops! Did I say that?? :party::lol: Although I almost went into cardiac arrest!!! )

 

Balletrocs2~ Can you believe I only ordered 50 iron-on name tags?? Huge mistake!! :o DOH!

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This just in...

 

check everything they want to take BEFORE you take it. I hauled a TURNTABLE, RECORDS, AND a DEFUNCT DVD player 1200 miles before she told me they didn't work!!!

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The long heart to hearts aren't as frequent, but I found the drive to the airport in the early morning when sending my son back after visits home were the place and time these past 2 years. Don't worry, they will still happen.

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:shrug: Getting ready to move DS for his last and senior year...he told me he is tired of living out of a suitcase this summer...have to rent a van to bring more "STUFF" to the house he will be sharing with other dancers. Much less packing this time, most of his things and furnishings were brought down in early July for summer school. No more tears anymore - it does get easier and they do overcome the initial homesickness. He'll be happy and chatting ALL the way down - going back lifts him out of this "no-dance funk" he gets in when SIs are over for the summer.

 

Tears were shed for my oldest son who left yesterday for a year of study in France - he packed the day he left!! Assured me that he had NOT forgotten anything - we shall see!

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Hey dancemomCA!! Does that mean you get to get rid of all the C**P in your basement? Well, in my basement, I don't know about yours ... if there is an advantage to poverty stricken kids living on their own, that has to be it! :shrug: Of course, guess who got the new towels ... I'm such a softy!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, dropped DS off at NBS on Tuesday. We had to say a quick goodbye as we were going to be getting out of Toronto much later than I had planned (thanks to an orthodontists consultation appt. that ran really late) and we wanted to beat rush-hour traffic. Throughout all of this, I really wasn't that upset, as I really am so happy for him. He was really excited to go, and once he got there, found out who his rommates were, etc., he was very happy to finally be there. I spoke to him last night and he and his roomies were already busy with homework. :thumbsup: So far, life is good.

 

I'm finding that although I have so many things to catch up at home, I'm feeling a bit lost as the last few weeks were so consumed with running around getting his stuff ready to go. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. Anyone else go through this?

 

Also, I'm sort of feeling compelled to change my username. Just doesn't fit anymore. :lol:

Hmmm....some new options:

 

balletpatronCA

anyone_seen_my_kid?

callingcard_stockholder

penniless_in_the_midwest

balletmom_eh?

 

Fell free to add if you guys can come up with some good ones. :wink:

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:lol: dancetaxi - I thought you were back at school? Any courses this term? That would certainly occupy your time! I felt the same way as you 4 years ago, but have since discovered many things to do with my free time, ie. take dance class instead of drive my son, enroll in wine courses, and finally meet someone special. :wink: But that empty feeling still stays with me for at least the first few weeks when he returns to school...although he has called me every day about something...that too will lessen once he's back in the real routine of school and dance class.

 

Glad to hear that your son is happy at NBS...he's in for a wonderful year.

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