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My Mum


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Right...I want to be a professional dancer. My mum wants me to go to university to do academic stuff, not dancing. I still have a few years to go but I'm fed up with her saying that she doesn't want me to waste my life. Any help?

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Dance first, then university. You will always have your brains, you will not have a compliant body for long!

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My mum wants me to go to university to do academic stuff, not dancing.


do you mean she does not want you to study dance at a university?


if that is not what you mean, I would say go to college and major in dance. Then everyones happy you get your education like your mom wants you too and you study dance at the same time, you may be about 21 when you graduate but, 21 is still young.

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I know I'm a parent but this subjectis a close to my heart. If the moderators need to eliminate it I will understand! My mother was against my sister and myself dancing. She made quite the list of negative comments about and in truth never reveled in her childrens success. My sister had a very nice career, she really fought for it as far as my mother was concerned. My sister's career was very successful, she danced as a principal in a very nice, respected company, but for my mother it just wasn't what she wanted for her eldest daughter. My sister was very happy for the decades that she danced. I on the other hand was injured and had to give ballet up. I did go to university.


We parents are not always as smart as we need to be. Years ago my eldest DD would goad me about what she wanted to do. It was ballet and then being a doctor, in that order. In truth, I know ballet is a hard life but if it's what is wanted it's the path you have to take. I learnt from the beginning to reply to my DD that all I wanted for her was to be happy and if that meant ballet I was behind her all the way. That is where I still am and it's not always an easy place to be. This can't be advise but it could be called a strategy for living. Use a little wisdom when it comes to your mother. Don't shove ballet in your mothers face. Be mature, be quiet. She only wants the best for you, she's coming from a different place to you and can't help her own life experience which makes her the person she is today. We parents love our children. Dance your heart out, take each class seriously and know that ballet is your goal. What's inside you can't be taken away. When the time comes for university v. dancing professionally, you will be of an age and a maturity where you will be heard much more clearly by your parents. Keep up your grades at school, close no doors in your life and respect your mothers apparant fear for your future. She will learn and change as she sees you grow. What to her may seem a waste won't be quite so 'dead end', if she understands you still have the opportunity to go to university later. Even the Royal Ballet School has 'A' level subjects available! Dancers are really bright people, they have to be. It's not a profession for dummies.

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Thanks for the very wise and kind reply, Pasdetrois! I found it helpful - I am also interested in pursuing ballet as a career, but am an eldest child with strong academics. Your post affirmed my feelings.

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Also, (and sorry I know I shouldn't be giving advice so please delete if need be) you might want to talk to your mom about why you wish to pursue a dancing career and maybe if you two sit down and have a long conversation you might be able to come to some understandings/agreements. Also maybe you can tell her about what Mr. Johnson said because it is very true. It's never too late to go to university as long as you do well in school. :) I hope things work out for you.

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Thanks everyone, & sugarplumfairy1, she wants me to do something academic at university instead of dance. I want to do my A levels before I go so I have something to fall back on. I understand where she's coming from but you only live once & it's just something I want to do!

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  • 4 weeks later...


My mom feels the same way about college and how important that sort of stuff is, and because I am so insistant about my career in ballet we have decided to copromise, I will take AP (Advanced Placement) Courses while I am in high school and when I graduate I will take classes at a community college during my apprenticeship so that I can have a decent job until I join a company (because, as you know, ballet isn't exactly a job you do for the money!! :D ).

Hope this helped and good luck with your situation!!!<33333

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Students, be very careful of attempting to intervene in family disputes. None of us knows the dynamics that are in place, and even police officers do not knock on the door for a reported domestic without backup in place.

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"Knock knock" - may I post? Some of the well meant advice from those of you in the US does not really apply in UK. There are very few universities which do dance here. Your teacher should be able to help you identify the sort of courses that would be suitable for you.


However, a major decision needs to be taken about what you do after GCSEs. If you are not accepted into a reputable vocational school at that point, you are unlikely to become a professional dancer. All of these vocational schools do offer A- levels, so if you decided to apply for university after A-levels that would still be an option.


Hope this helps.

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  • Administrators

Thank you, Doubleturn. That is definitely helpful information, and I will leave it here, even though it is the YD board. I also liked the information from PasdeTrois.


I think that I need to close the topic now, though, because some good advice has been given and I think that ElphieBean has received what she needs from this question. :)

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