Celebrations: New Company members

[kathryn56]

I could really use some asvice on maybe a fun topic, as well as a figurative hug of support. Last year DD was a traiinee about 4 hours away and they actually toured the first show she was in here so we got to see her performances. This year she is a full company member....2000 miles away!!! As a trainee last year, her parts were what you expect, but she had fun. This year, she has a good part she is thrilled with in the first production. Okay, enough of the background...

My husband is going to watch the performance -he will be there for two of them, but not the first. I cannot go - it is youngest daughter's first race in the varsity boat for her crew team that weekend!! Since no one will be there for the first performance and I will not be there at all, I would like to do something special for her. Dad does not want me to send flowers as he wants to bring them the next night. This may be negotiable. Would it be tacky or open her to teasing if something arrived for her at the company? I actually thought something she could share... maybe appropriately colored M&Ms with the ballet name on them? Am I still being way to young and goofy? She is a very "ancient" 19 and last year was her first year asway. Ideas and advice would be greatly appreciated. I want her to feel loved but not smothered! Thanks!

[Victoria Leigh]

kathryn56, first of all, congratulations on your daughter's fast rise from trainee to full company!

 

The first performance is special, and I don't think that flowers from you would in any way make the flowers the next night from her dad any less special! I really think flowers would be better than M&Ms!

 

And a big cyber hug of support to you! It's hard when you have more than one and they both need you at the same time! But she will understand, and it's great that her dad can go, even if it is the second night. Perhaps better, in a way. She will be over the first night nervousness, which might be worse if she knew her parents were in the audience.

[Veronica]

Congratulations to your daughter!

Actually, I think the flowers for her AND the M & M's to share is a great idea. It's a nice way for for a newbie (and you) to show the other dancers how much she enjoys being with the company and a way to break the ice with those she hasn't connected with yet.

[CDR]

Hmm, her fellow dancers may think it a bit childish to get M&Ms so I'm not sure about that idea although it is sweet. Perhaps a card which an appropriate poem (or just words of support), a red rose which wouldn't overshadow her flowers the following night. Maybe a DVD with moments of her growing up, her first school show (if she did them) and her dance progress over the years if you videoed it would be a nice momento (although perhaps not too easy to organise). Did you keep her first pair of ballet shoes? Can you get them bronzed or something maybe?

 

Just a couple of suggestions anyway, hope you get something sorted.

[Momof3darlings]

Thanks for raising this question kathryn. We are in the same boat and trying to decide how to handle it. In the past I have always found little things to commemorate whatever show they were doing but am not sure if that is now considered too "kiddie" for the adult company ranks and just flowers is the thing to do. It seems weird to say that though because DD had sort of outgrown flowers and I guess we've come full circle.

 

If you do send flowers, you might want to send a note on how to turn them upside down to dry them. DD has some in her room from a performance 3 years ago and they are still an intact bouquet. I'll ask her if there was something else she had to do to them.

[dance1soccer1]

When my cousin had his first professional theater performance I got a frame in which the program would fit, with a smaller place at the bottom for a little picture of him in the role. Often the company can provide you with the picture (or just use a headshot) and the program ahead of time. A nice way to commemorate an amazing first! Had it delivered with one rose. He still has it (and the rose!) 20+ years later

[kathryn56]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I am worried about candy being too childish. I am afraid of being stuck in recital and Nutcracker mode. Having the youngest still in "boat present" , "gee, M&Ms in school colors would be awesome" mode makes it even harder to judge appropriateness. Since she is the youngest company member, I really don't want to do anything to emphasize that fact.

Momof3darlings, I agree. It did seem like flowers had been outgrown, but maybe they are "cool" again. Maybe just a gift to get to her before she goes to the theatrer would be good.

How do all of you, especially those of you with professional experience, personal or otherwise, (the moms definitely count!) feel about some sort of goodie basket to share? Maybe for the week before the performance? The rest of the company are so positive and supportive I would sort of like to do something (you called that one, Veronica!).

I know the company women are planning on either goody bags or a flower for the kids in the show so I don't want to look like I am "horning in" on that. Maybe I worry too much.

Please keep the ideas coming!

Thanks for the kind words!

[dancer5]

I would definitely recommend simply sending flowers for the first night too. You really can't have too many, and she may be able to leave a bouquet in the dressing room and take one home... besides, all the other dancers will admire them too.

 

If you really must send stuffed animals, old shoes, DVDs, etc--send them to her at her apartment, not the theatre! I would have been pretty embarassed if my family had sent something like that to me. I know you're thinking "oh, my baby is all grown up!"--but please, save that for a family time, not for a time when she's performing and feeling really adult and successful.

 

That's just my opinion as a young professional myself, though. Congrats to your daughter!

[Gracey]

When I know someone is bringing the "on stage" flowers to a dancer on a special day, I have opted to ordering "cookie flowers" from Felix and Nortons. They have been a huge hit in the dressing rooms, and easy to share!

[pattypirouette]

kathryn - you and I lead parallel lives! I also have a dd and a crew girl! My dd - is also a LONG way from home - 1600 miles - and it is really difficult when I know she is performing and I won't be there to watch.

 

I say... flowers from the Dad on the day he is there and you send something that she can share in the dressing room. (maybe you can send it to her apartment and she can bring it to the theatre?) I was just visiting my dd and sent in brownies for the company. They get so excited to get something from a Mom. Parents are usually in town for performances and it's not unusual to have something there from them. I think it will be really appreciated and not thought of a childish.

 

Congrats on your dd's successes and your rower too! Good for her - her first varsity race!

[LooseLegs2]

I think that i would really appreciate one of those fruit boquets... they cut the fruit in shapes of flowers... it would be really nice because its healthy and cute and fun! and the idea of having a care package sent to her the week before the performance would be really great too... and include things like bubble bath and relaxation stuff. good luck!

[balletbooster]

I just saw one of the fruit bouquets for the first time. They are REALLY cool! They look like flowers, in a glass vase, etc. But, it would be something healthy, fun and neat that others could share with her and be a real conversation piece in the dressing room! Certainly doesn't seem childish or sentimental. Seems like a cutting edge, trendy way to commemorate an event!

 

There is a company in my town that does nothing but these fruit bouquets. Check the yellow pages or go online to see if there is such a business in her company town.

 

How very exciting for her and how wonderful that dad will get to share the moment. I know you will be there in spirit. Congrats to her on her company position and great casting!

[Momof3darlings]

I'd forgotten about those! They are really great.

[skyish]

Lol, I'm 20 and I would "love" to receive M&M's from my mother for my first recital=) I don't think that anyone would care about that, it's not childish it's really fun=)

 

But if I were you I would send her a medium size plushie *holding the M&M's* (you can sew them on) in one hand and a sewn flower on its other hand. Because however it sounds more childish than only M&M's, plushies are generally sent for good luck especially for ice skating and gymnastics here, so why would it be bad for ballet? And that plushie can have a t-shirt says "good luck" on it=) Keep in mind that I'm not a childish 20, I'm generally serious (sometimes too much) but I know that she would love it=) And she doesn't have to say anything about it to anyone, it's a gift from her mother for god's sake, who cares about their thoughts..

[Balletismykidslife!]

After reading all the comments, one thing did strike me. One of the main differences is that not only is this your dd's first show as a Company member...but the fact that you are 2000 miles away makes a difference is how any 'gift' will be received. Meaning that if you lived and hour away and had the tendency to 'smother' your dd with constant attention and 'special things' always being sent her way, then yes I can see this as a huge no-no as far as always being 'too attentive' in the way of sending special things....

 

However...I think that because you live so far away, that you cannot be there for her first Company performance, that this is a reason to celebrate with her from so far away....Nothing too childish of course as a few have mentioned...but that fruit basket thing sounds really great...maybe they have one that has a variety of nuts in it as well? Dancers tend to love those as we all know!

 

I think the dancers would all love this, appreicate it, and they would be happy for your dd, knowing this is something REALLY special for her...and it really only does happen once...the first show as a Company member! Ahhhh I can't wait until that day comes for my dd as well. She's got a way's to go, but in my heart I know it will happen for her..

 

Congrats to your dd and to you as well! As parents we work as hard as we can to help our kids achieve thier dreams and goals...way to go MOM!