Homesick

[Guest xoxdancecutiexox]

This may seem ultra crazy, but a thirteen year old and a half is homesick!

 

I have been crying for the past week lately, because I miss my mom, siblings, and my friends. I only get to see them twice a month since they live SO far away. This is my 1st week at a Ballet Boarding School.

 

Help Please.

 

Suffering from homesickness, Katya

 

P.S. Please help. I am SUFFERING!

[Victoria Leigh]

Katya, we are very sorry that you are suffering so much homesickness, but it is only the first week! This is totally normal, and you will get better. Thirteen is very young to go away, but, you do need to give it a little bit more time than a week before freaking out! All we can do from here is just be here, as a place you can come to and talk to us when you need to. But, your teachers and counselors are there for that, too. And I'm sure you can talk to your family on the phone. This had to be a very big decision for you and your family, so try to hang in there for a little longer and give it a chance. You will make friends there, and actually being able to see your family twice a month is a great luxury for students living away from home.

 

Try to keep your focus on why you are there, and what you are doing and learning. Put your energy into your work as a dancer. After a month, if it is not better, perhaps you and your family will need to reconsider this decision, but not this early in the move. Give it a chance. Crying all the time is a huge waste of time and energy. You say are a "Dedicated Dancer". Put your energy and your love and passion into dancing and see what happens.

[balletboy101]

Hey Katya,

 

I'm a student who has been at a boarding school since I was fourteen. Let me tell you that like everything the first chunk of time without a break is always the hardest, because everything from home is still fresh in your mind. Let me suggest to you that you try and make good use of your time, and work as hard as you can. remember why it is that you left home in the first place. And don't worry about being homesick, when you start to make new friends and fall into the set pace and routine of things, time will fly by. I promise that if you apply yourself and try to make wherever you are home, you will become so comfortable that you wont want to leave.

 

BalletBoy

[vrsfanatic]

Katya so sorry to hear you are so homesick. Try to put your energy outside of the ballet class into making new friends. It is difficult to arrive late within the school year and enter into already established routines. Is your roomate in your level of study in ballet or in academics? Had you been to the school before for an SI? Do you know anyone there?

 

You might be surprised at how many students, teachers and residence hall personel are understanding of homesickness. At some point we have all been through it...and survived it! As Ms. Leigh and balletboy101 have suggested, try hanging in there for a while. Mostlikely, it should get better, but if it does not, you do need to have a discussion with your family.

 

You certainly are a dedicated, brave young lady who has chosen to challenge herself with a residency program. Make the most of the wonderful opportunity before you. Try every day to speak with someone new, with a smile on your face. Somehow when we smile on the outside, it eventually becomes part of our heart! Smiles do help to make life more pleasant for all.

[Momof3darlings]

Katya--so sorry to hear you are homesick. But don't be ashamed of it. It is perfectly normal to miss your family and friends when you're away from them. Your age has nothing to do with it. From your saying that, I wonder if you think that being homesick sounds "babyish" and you might be afraid to tell others. Please understand that whether 13, or 18 or 24. When a child is away from their family and friends they will be homesick.

 

Your RA's are there to help you through this and so are the other students there who will become your friends. If they are in a residential school they have all been through it. I'm sure they will lend a helpful ear. Hang in there!

 

vj

[Hamorah]

I first went to live away from home when I was 19! Even at that ripe old age, I was desperately homesick! I remember going round to the Director once because it was so bad I was thinking of quitting! He opened the door and I burst into tears! The funny thing was that after that, having got it all out and being told that it was OK to be homesick, I did get over it! What really helped me was making good friends and I think that will help you too. Also, nowadays with cell-phones, text messages and e-mails, life is much easier - your Mom is just a click away! You are very young to be living away from home, but it does get better, so try and be brave and hang in there!

[Guest xoxdancecutiexox]

Thanks everyone. You are all right, I should give it some time.

 

Maybe I can ask the other students how they handle homesickness. Maybe they will have some ways to deal with homesickness also.

 

Thanks again, Katya

 

P.S. I talked to my mom earlier today. She said she won't let me quit just because of homesickness, and she said alot of the things you guys said!

 

P.S.S. My roomate is a girl around my age, but she doesn't have any way to deal with homesickness, because she has lived in several boarding schools! She is such a strong person.

[e'smom]

Dear Dance Cutie,

You seem very very sweet, and so you will make lots of friends that will in time ease your homesickness. My daughter went away at 14, and like you was very young, and the first year was hard! She stuck with it, and went to an RA or the student services director when she was feeling particularly sad (and called Mom a lot!). Now that she is graduated and is an apprentice living in an apartment, she is REALLY homesick for all of her old friends from the residency program!

[Banana Feet]

Hi Dance Cutie,

I'm in my 2nd year away from home, and I definately understand what you are talking about. I went away to a normal summer camp when I was 8 (I think) and I have never been more homesick in my life. After my parents left, I couldn't think about anything other then the fact that they were gone. By the end of the week, I'd gotten a little bit more comfortable and started to let myself enjoy it. First of all, I think it really takes time to get rid of the feeling of homesickness. Also, I think you really need to try to not focus on the feeling of homesickness and let yourself enjoy being someplace new!

It's really overwhelming at first to be in a new place surrounded by new people. What really helped me was just to focus on what I left home for and also to make sure to put myself out there and make friends. Make sure you aren't being reserved or shy (it's really easy to do) because that just makes it harder to make friends. I promise that soon, the people you are surrounded by will pretty much become your family. I left the residency program I was at last year, and I definately miss my closest friends from there. I talk to them all the time because we are so close and they understand me sooooo well.

I also always found that calling home helps. I still usually call home once a day just to keep in touch. It keeps me feeling like I'm still a part of the family even though I'm a few states away.

When I moved away last year to attend a residency, I was kind of homeisck because I was unsure that I really had wanted to do this. My parents were nice enough to fly me home for a weekend, and it helped soooo much. I was able to see why I had left and how many more opportunities I was getting. I don't know if that would be an option for you, but it's worth a thought if you really are that homesick. Mostly though, it's just going to take time and patience. I hope you feel better soon!!

[tdc_gurl]

Dance Cutie,

 

I'm 13, I know your pain, I went to an intensive this last summer, (only two weeks mind you!) and got emotional several times a day. Thankfully I had my entire dance team with me, who are like my brothers and sisters. I suggest to talk to someone about it, friend or teacher, and if you're feeling really bad, call home and talk to your mom or dad for a while. You'll get used to it after a while, I know i did.

[Mel Johnson]

uh...tdc gurl, did you not notice that this thread is a bit...old?

 

Its latest post was almost a year ago. I'm sure Dance Cutie has come to terms by this time.

[cosprballet]

2nd year homesickness has been our dilemma this year. It's different this time. As he gets older the focus has been boredom with routine, and living the institutionalized life. Staying focused and contimplating whether to "stick it out". Setting the example as an upperclassmen and trying to balance that with the social dicotomy of his peers all have been this years challenges thus far. We try to just listen and offer "gentle" advice, but it's hard not to panic! Luckily we feel very supported by his school and trust his day to day interctions there will see him through. I guess this is where the long distance parenting stuff gets hard . We miss him.