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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Parents won't let me go away for the year...


dwcgirl

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I was talking to my parents about if I ever wanted to go away to a boarding school for a year or so (maybe Harid or something) and they were absolutely against it. They told me there was no way they would let me go. What should I do if I ever got in and really wanted to go??? If youv'e ever been in this situation let me know what you did! (please move this or delete it if it is not an appropriate post!)

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Remember, as a minor child, your parents have an absolute say in most activities. The only way to go to a residential school, since you bring it up, is to change their minds. Ask them what would do that. If they say, "nothing!", try again. "Nothing" is a short answer which is often used to cover answers that parents are afraid will hurt the child's feelings, or even their own! "We can't afford it" is one of the latter. "We don't trust your morals" can be one of the former. So you can try it, but be prepared for a lot of soul-searing, serious and prolonged discussion if you decide to resolve this conflict in this manner. Perhaps you could use a mediator, as a trusted teacher, clergy, or psychologist to assist the process.

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My parents have only just agreed to let me go to ABT SI next year (well I have to audition first but you know what I mean!) I have always to study in America, I'm from England so that's hard on my family because it's so far from home. Try letting them know that this is something you really want to do. I'm at boarding school at the moment and it's really fun! If they say no ask them why and see if you work it out. I hope you get what you want, I'm still trying to get my parents to let go to maybe SAB or JKO but they're really set against it. So I understand what you're going through completely and how frustrating it is! From little_dancer123 x :offtopic:

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My parents also are not to keen on the idea of me dancing. My mom is finally starting to kind of accept the fact that I want to dance professionaly and that I will not take no for an answer (i am a rebleious child). I have been telling her that I want to go to SAB for the summer. Yesterday she asked me how much it would cost and I said it was the same price as the europe trip that I would have gone to if I did't want to dance. She asked me how i was going to pay for it, my reply was my job. (my parents do not fund my dancing) My brother said I would never get in. My dad just stays out of it because I know he does not want me to dance he never did. I get so jelous when I read about girls on here (ballettalk) that there parents fully support them, I really dont have that and I wish so much that I did. Last year for about a month before pointe class i would kind of have a mini breakdown and question if i would ever make it. My teacher one day came and talked to me about summer programs because I was unsure of what places to audition, I came across a photo in pointe magazine of a pas de deux class and said "look at them they look so perfect, I could never be like that." My teacher said that they were not perfect, and said to get that shot the way they wanted it to look took hours. She said just like in a professional company they practice for months to get a ballet the way the director/choregrapher wants it. It takes time and that nobody is perfect. She really made me feel so much better and want to dance even more. When I attended the young dancers workshop at fsu, I knew that this is what I wanted to do and I would do anything to get it.

 

Sorry its so long, but I just felt like I had to let this out.

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I think I know pretty much exactly how you feel. Last summer I spent a month at a summer intensive auditioning for the year round program and after being accepted, my parents told me I couldn't go. I was fifteen and they said they didn't think I was ready to move away yet. It was frustrating because I wanted to go more than anything and it was such an amazing opportunity, but they just said that if my technique was good enough to be accepted, the training I was already getting was good enough.

 

Looking back, I still wish I had been allowed to attend, but I think I have a better perspective on the situation now. I realize that I'm still at a school with solid training and that I probably wasn't ready to go away at that stage of my life. I hope your situation works out for you!

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