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Ballet Talk for Dancers

decision


Guest dancinqueen2685

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Guest dancinqueen2685

i've been dancing for about 5 years, and i'm 16. the past couple of years, i've gotten serious about it, and dancing about 4 days a week. over this Christmas break, i've realized that i don't want to dance anymore. i'm just basically sick of it. the only thing that's holding me back from quitting is my teacher, i know she needs me for the performances. i really want to quit, but i don't want to dissappoint her. what do i do???? please help

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Guest ScottieGDE13

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn and if I am you can delete this post without any argument from me but I figured I was allowed to say something since it isn't a technique question. It sounds like you have already made up your mind about quitting. That's fine as long as you didn't make a decision to quuickly or when you were upset or something. But I don't think that's the case, it seems as if you are being rational. You probably are going to disappoint your teacher (when you said that she needs you to perform, I assume you mean you are one of her advanced students and that is always hard for a teacher, esp. in a small school, to lose) but you can't be miserable just so she won't be disappointed. Trust me. I have a friend who did ballet and stayed with our company her whole middle and high school career and every year she wanted to quit, but every year she stayed because she didn't want to upset our director and complained later on and it made us mad because, unlike her, we wanted to be there! That's not to say that she should have wanted it but she should have done something about it. If you do end up quitting, though, let your teacher know and explain why well in advance. She may be disappointed but this is better than insulted when you just stop coming and she figures it out. Another piece of advice. If she needs you for a performance don't quit before the end of the season. That happened to my director last year and this girl just quit out of the blue and she was already set in 3 pieces and a classical ballet we had to do in the Spring. It just makes the break away from whatever sort of situation you're in so much more courteous to your teacher as well as your classmates. And you never know what will happen in the next few months if you stay for a little longer. You'll either confirm your decision to quit and feel even better about it or you might even realize that you have changed your mind, something you really want to know BEFORE you quit!

Whatever happens, I hope it works out for you and I hope I helped!

Scotte

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Let me just say a few things.

First, all of us want to quit doing things, sometimes we do quit and it works out okay and other times we do quit and then wish that we hadn't.

Life does get tough, especially when you are thinking of taking something up seriously. I know, I have been there, not with ballet, but with other things. It starts out as fun, you enjoy it, you decide to do more, you enjoy it even more, and then you think, okay lets do this for real, lets get serious, and then the reality hits you, that this is not fun anymore, all the enjoyment has gone, all the excitement has dwindled and you feel sick just thinking about having to that thing again. Its a shame and its happened to me except it was in nothing serious, it was a sport I like doing, except when it turned competitive I hated it so badly and went from playing/training 10 hours a week to zilch. I am sure the spark will return given time.

However, I was older than you are, you are only 16, but on the other hand now is the time to actually decide how far you want to take this and what you want to do careerwise, which is always the toughest decision to make at this age. I decided when I was 12 that I was going to follow an academic career. I wanted to be a scientist, so 14 years later now I am one. I kept up my dancing two/three hours a week through out those years nothing serious enough, but you know doing exams and shows and it kept my interest in it going strong. I have enjoyed every lesson and continue to enjoy it (bar one or two hiccups when I started again over here).

So ideawise, talk to your teacher. Explain to her that you are feeling a bit lethargic, balletwise. She mayhave a good idea or may suggest something that you had not thought of before. If you want to do career in ballet, perhaps arrange to visit a ballet school and find out what it is like for real, talking to other dancers who are doing it seriously may help you.

But in the end it is your decision, it has to be your decision. Do not quit because you don't like someone in the class, or whatever.

 

Perhaps you just need a cut back on the hours you are doing, and start to find out what you really do want to do, not what your parents/teacher/friends expect you to do.

 

Also, you are not the only one who came back from Christams thinking,'my god do I have to keep doing this'. Work is like hell and boy do I feel like quitting. But I won't because I know I will gain much more from sticking it out, than I would if I left'. You just have to find ways of making it more bearable and then hopefully your enthusiasm will return.

Take care

 

Jeanette x

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dancinqueen, you are at the age where a lot of young dancers have to come to a decision, and it's never an easy one. Ballet is a very, very difficult profession, in every way, and it certainly is not for everyone. The amount of your life that is takes is totally excessive, and the only way ANYONE should go into this as a profession is if it is something they HAVE to do, not something they want to do. One must be "driven" to do this. As long as you have not been cast and started rehearsals for something, if this is the time you want to stop, then talk to your teacher and do it. If, on the other hand, you have committed to something and started working on it, then you need to fulfill that obligation.

 

This does not mean that you might never dance again. Continuing on a recreational basis, or even coming back to it later, are certainly possible.

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