gerlonda Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 Well, yesterday I participated in the second performance of my life following a 3 month preparation/rehearsal period. I did not dance my best. 2 years ago I danced in my first performance and I also did not feel like I did my best then. It is hard to describe how I felt but I will try. First of all we only did like 2 run-throughs on the actual stage (which was bigger then our ballet/rehearsal studio), is that a normal amount guys? Second of all (and this is the hard to describe part) I felt "slightly" nervous, but not that much, but most of all I felt like my body was being physically restrained from outside forces.... I don't know.... almost like someone had loosely wrapped my body in Ace bandages like a mummy (but not that tight). I totally felt like I was not turning out and I was not pointing my feet. My tour jetes were totally lower than in rehearsal. Sometimes I felt as if time was going by way too slowly and then other times I felt like it was going by so fast like in a blur. The dance was over before I knew it. I totally felt as if all of my movements had been pared down. I did not feel as if I really stretched myself, I was not out of breath, I didn't even break a sweat (and I am one of the sweatiest dancers around... like after plies in class I usually have a pool of sweat on my back and stomach). Like I said, this is very hard for me to describe. I just totally felt like my movements were not smoothly linking together. Even though we were on a big stage I felt as if my limbs were restrained, I WANTED to reach out more but I think sub-consciously I did not want to make any mistakes, lose balance, look like an idiot. It was a student showcase at a high school so the stage really wasn't a "performance" stage where like the audience was blacked out, so I could see people in the audience and their expressions and I felt a nagging at my heart like they were thinking "She's in her 20's, why is she up there dancing with teens?" or "She looks so stiff, why is she up there?" I don't know. I know this is long. I know I definitely may need to perform more often than every other year. Maybe then I will feel more comfortable. I don't think my problem was nervousness or stage fright (I honestly don't even think I was moving big enough to increase my pulse). Is any of this making sense? Quote Link to comment
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