Guest tipo'thetoes Posted July 6, 2008 Report Share Posted July 6, 2008 I logged on to post this message mainly to let off steam, but I would appreciate comments and advice from other members. It's difficult to know how to explain this. At my daughter's ballet school certain girls are picked out and offered scholarships to a local private academic school. This usually covers about half their school fees. I haven't ever really understood why the ballet principal does this, but I think it's her way of holding on to her talented pupils and preventing them from leaving to go to full time vocational dance schools. They do all their academic classes at this private school and continue with their ballet classes at the dance school. However there is one child who has 100% of her school fees paid and gets her ballet classes free as well. In return her mother and grandmother both do various odd jobs for the ballet school like administrative work and general dogsbody stuff. The mother of this girl is also a qualified dance teacher and sometimes supervises rehearsals for shows. For some reason this mother who is always hanging around at classes even when she is not required to assist, has started victimising my daughter. Last week was "watching week" at the ballet school where parents are invited to watch ballet classes. Parents usually only watch their own child's classes, but this woman watched all my daughter's classes, including those that her own daughter wasn't in and pulled derogatory faces at her throughout the classes. Whenever my daughter danced, this woman pulled a face to imply that she was doing it wrong or shook her head at her. You can imagine how this affected my daughter's self confidence. I advised my daughter not to look at her, but she found it quite difficult. I wanted to call the ballet principal to complain, but because of the close relationship between this woman and the principal, my daughter didn't want me to complain in case of repercusions. However, today we arrived slightly late for a show rehearsal because of terrible traffic caused by rain storms. The lady took this an excuse to be really rude to my daughter and continue with this face pulling throughout the rehearsal. She openly and rudely chastised my daughter for being late, which really upset her. I am sure that this woman has the intelligence to know that being late was not my daughter's fault. Even if it weren't for the traffic problems, it is my responsibility to get my daughter to class on time and if she's late, it's my fault, not hers, but it's like she was looking for an excuse to continue upsetting my daughter. I was very upset at how unhappy she is making my daughter and how she seems to be deliberately attempting to destroy her confidence, but I didn't know what to do as she has an influential relationship with the ballet principal and is known to manipulate things in order to undermine others and maintain her daughter's position in the school. I promised my daughter to stay out of it and was about to leave the studio when the lady herself came up to me and rudely ordered me to leave, saying I was in the way. It's difficult to describe her tone and how rude she was. I was so angry at how she is bullying my daughter, that I lost my temper and warned her not to even talk to me as I knew that if she did I'd say all the things that I'd promised my daughter I wouldn't. I did leave, but, to my daughter's horror, I had made it clear that I was angry and upset, but to my own frustration had not had an opportunity to really voice my feelings on the matter. My difficulty is really what to do next. I presume that this lady will have probably preempted my complaints by telling the principal I was rude to her, when in reality she had been rude to me. I feel that she oughtn't to be allowed to get away with this victimisation, but am concerned I could make things worse for my daughter by bringing it up with the principal. I really don't know what is behind this lady's behaviour and can only conjecture that it could be something to do with my daughter leaving to go to the Royal Ballet School soon. I don't want to cast aspertions, but I wonder if there is some jealousy behind it. I wonder if she regrets tying her own daughter into a relationship of debt to the ballet principal which prevents her from going to a vocational school. My daughter has been very quiet about leaving and has not discussed it with the other girls in the ballet school. Nobody knew she auditioned as the principal does not approve of girls leaving to go to full time vocational schools at 11. However, they seem to have found out from somewhere. This is a complicating consideration as the principal herself is not likely to be well disposed to take my daughter's side in this for that reason. However, I'd like to have an opportunity to explain things to the principal if this lady is going out of her way to cause problems for us in the principals eyes. What concerns me is that whatever else, this lady seems to have lost sight of the fact that for the majority of the children this is a hobby that they do for fun out of the joy of dance. It's not compulsory academic school where they have to be chastised for every mistake and made to feel unhappy about themselves. Quote Link to comment
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