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Younger siblings passing up older sibs?


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My girls are 8 and 9 (15 months apart).


My younger DD is average height and EXTREMELY strong and fit. She has very defined core muscles (as in a 6-pack. she can NOT be my child. lol) She's very focused in ballet class. She wants to be a professional dancer in the worst way and she works HARD for it.


My older DD is TINY. She doesn't even register on the height/weight charts at the Dr.s office. She's smaller than the younger one and struggles with control of her core (like most girls her age). She's also very distractable. She mostly takes ballet so she can say "I'm a dancer" but doesn't really want it the way the younger one does.


At the last evaluation the younger one was moved into the same level as her older sister, and it's become clear that she will pass her up in short order.


Has anyone dealt with this already? I'm a little concerned about how this will affect the older one, or that they will hesitate to move the younger one along if it means passing her sister. How do you balance protecting the emotional interests of one daughter with celebrating the achievements of the other?

Edited by Clara 76
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My 3 dds are each 2 years apart. The youngest passed up my middle dd years ago. The middle always has been jealous of the younger one. Middle dd is in a college majoring in ballet, youngest just quit dancing due to knee surgery....Oldest dd is with a pro company.

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How did you deal with it? I'm not sure what I can say to the older one to help ease her when it happens. Maybe there's something I can do to prepare her...I don't know.

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As a former teacher, I see this as a learning opportunity for both girls. They are individuals, so will definitely have their own strengths, weaknesses, talents, and interests. That doesn't mean they both can't try; instead, let it be a life lesson. Not even the best dancer in the world was perfect all the time and there is always someone younger, faster, thinner, braver, prettier, more talented, more whatever (just watch the Olympics if you don't believe me). It sucks that it's her sister, but it's also reality. By treating this positively and NOT making it a big deal, you will teach both girls to deal with situations like this in the future--with grace and poise. Also, you say that the older one isn't as passionate. Is there something else she is passionate about? Maybe you should encourage her to explore her interests. With the build you mentioned, what about a rec gymnastics class, equestrian (she's extremely tiny you say? she just might be the PERFECT equestrienne), or even swimming? All have elements that are similar to dance that may appeal to her, but they might also be more of a perfect fit for her.

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Thanks ladies!


Sam7...it's funny. She came to me just today and said that she's really happy for Baylie, because Baylie wants it more....and she just wants to be in the shows. lol

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