Laschwen Posted November 16, 2008 Report Share Posted November 16, 2008 I had one of those moments of cruel reality dawn on me when I watched my parts in the Adult Dance Camp video that came last week. I appeared to myself as one of those apparently delusional people who turn up at TV dance auditions having no decent dance background. For those of you who were there, I know you were distracted by your own performances and those of other buddies. My hope is you wouldn't even have noticed. I was actually really impressed too. On the whole it was impressive for all those adults to show up, live through the week, learn the choreography, and brave the stage at all. I am beyond proud of myself for all that. Actually I like the stage so I guess there is no reason for me to be proud of going on there for me, but learning the choreography isn't so easy even if it doesn't come out looking like expected. OK. I looked critically at myself. It was pretty much my first time ever seeing myself dance real ballet on video and I did allow that I made some nice lines during the pas de deux. It did not however, look at all like it felt at the time. I thought I was looking pretty good. I was ready to show off the pas when I came home if the opportunity presented. Now I am kind of glad it didn't. I do not count my balance trouble against myself either for those who saw the stumbles. I have a valid medical excuse on that and I know it didn't happen on every rehearsal, or they might not have placed me in front. The ballet classes help with my balance issues. I am not and never was one to run screaming at nasty little realities like that or swear off dance forever after a bad class. I am just not that dramatic. I think this calls for help so it never happens again. I am a bit scared that the theory that some people hold that there are those who will never improve, gain coordination, look half decent dancing, or however they say it might be true. Some parents have been known to say "Don't bother with dance lessons for that one" with some unlikely kids, but I always thought those were the ones who needed class the most. Could "hopeless" be real? Is that why teachers of adults don't bother correcting some of us most of the time? At least I have had a few corrections to lend me hope. I considered that I was premature in attending Adult Dance Camp last summer according to their own program standards, but I went anyway because the chance might not come again. Olddude said that he was the worst one there his first time. I guess somebody must have the honor at each session. I do not know if that was me or not at this point. Actually, I just scraped in for qualifications with my time back in classes after my 25 year hiatus, but then they were not as picky about that as the website sounded. When I signed up I may have forgotten to take into consideration that 2/3 of my time back was spent doing barre only, and would have a negative effect on how I presented in center during class and on stage during performance. Then I have certain medical issues, but I don't think those were affecting me more than anybody else's were affecting them....if they involved pain anyway. The trouble is that I knew pretty well that the one piece was going to look less than what I would hope for because it was a lot of fast little jumps that I could barely keep up with and some turns that I never actually felt confident with. I considered opting out with the other woman who felt her performance might ruin it for others. That made me feel awful when she said that to everyone and wouldn't be talked into joining in, and I had already had my costume made ahead of time for the performance, so I wasn't going to opt out, even with all the jumping. I think just a few of us could have used something easier on that one, but the level 2's and 3A's were performing together on the variations. The other piece actually felt pretty good but for some places with some questionable timing. Unfortunately it looked like a few good poses, a few not as good because I stumbled, and then the rest didn't even look like dancing. I had no grace in my movement. I feel like I should be reporting in for ballet rehab or remedial class or something. I had classes where they taught a proper ballet walk way back in the day and gave corrections. That would be good if it existed somewhere. They stopped the beginner level class I attended last year. I wish I could find and afford semi private good hands on classes. I really wonder if there is a way to catch up on all that missed time in center so my skill level balances out??? I was about to say I feel fine with Barre at higher levels, but unless I see that on video too, who knows? There isn't really much feedback or correction on a regular basis where I take class. I also am a little horrified and embarrassed that I felt like the need to go from level 2 to level 3A at camp because I was so bored in the level 2 at the pace of things; except for pirouettes. I stayed in level 2 pirouette classes. I am used to a much harder level at home (like their 3B or 4)...in my head anyway. Now I know I looked more like the other level 2's than I thought and it may have been more appropriate to stay put. What I could also use is a class for the simplest of jumps. They can be hard on my one ankle and knee because of the tibial torsion, but with proper control, and not going beyond where I know what I am doing or getting too tired, it is safe. Most of my classes have been beyond my level for petite allegro and I have opted out of that (or marked only) even when staying for full classes. I have really got to figure out something to do about that. I do not want to be skipping whole chunks any more. Oddly, grand allegro has been easier on the leg than petite allegro. I think it is because I have so much deeper a plie on one side than the other that coming down on two legs can be a problem for the shallow side if I lose control at all. I have actually been to only one class since watching the video. It did not go well. I was just back from time off for the seasonal crud and seriously lacking in energy. My focus was also off for my awareness of my lack of grace, which only made things worse. I could hardly keep up with combinations at the barre, much less try to make them look nice. I wore my new frilly lace skirt that I had made by one of the campers like the ones for sale at camp. I started to feel like I looked like I was there to look cute rather than to work. I was among almost all people I didn't know and got self conscious. It wasn't my day. I might just save my "camp" skirt for when I feel like class is going better and I am not psyching myself out. I think I will practice ballet walking around the house for a while. Quote Link to comment
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