support & feeling inferior

[maddiefish]

So, here's the story. I'm 15 years old, and I aspire to be a professional ballet dancer. Neither of my parents seem to think I can do it. They have both done ballet, and when I talk about wanting to get into a company their reaction is something like "Oh, it's so difficult to get into a company. You'll be able to dance in college." They are also extremely reluctant to let me go to a pre-professional school, which is definitely another aspiration for me. I was really excited about the possibility of staying at CPYB year round and they just didn't let me go on the grounds that I am "too young". (at 15?)

Because of this, I am really beginning to doubt myself. I'm naturally a very weak dancer, I cannot do fouettes at all or pirouette to save my life. My teachers think a large part of this issue is psychological, but I just think it is because I am weak. I lived in Europe for a year when I was 11 and my parents claimed that they could not find a good place to take classes (we were in Budapest, with the Hungarian Opera Ballet). I feel like because I missed so much, my technique is so far behind and I just won't be able to get anywhere. I don't know what to do with myself because my parents obviously don't think I'll succeed. I feel really overwhelmed, any help or insight would be appreciated.

[Clara 76]

It is difficult to be in a position where you feel like your parents aren't supportive of you.

Let's work through this:

 

Both of your parents were ballet dancers, right? If this is the case, can you think of some reasons why they would be less than encouraging to you?

 

If they weren't, and they both had just taken some classes, do you think that it might be possible that they are discouraging about it to you because they both discovered that ballet isn't easy?

 

I want you to try for just a moment to put yourself in their shoes (then we'll talk about how to get them to try yours on! ); would you want "the best" for your child? And if you lived in a society that was driven by money, wouldn't you want your child to get a job where she could make a whole lot of that- like a doctor or lawyer?

 

It's easy for parents to get sidetracked by the realities of life. There are hardships and problems that adults have to face every day that make it difficult to remember what it's like to dream......try to remember that when they are trying to talk you out of a ballet career, it is because they love you so very much. Things could be worse.

 

Now, let's get to how to get them to understand what you want.

Are you an excellent academic student? Do you help out with the chores at home? Are you thoughtful and considerate? Do you babysit or have a paper route to help pay your expenses? Do you help out in your local community? All of those things demonstrate a level of maturity that adults/parents can relate to.

 

Those things will also help raise your level of self-esteem, which is something I think you could use a bit more of.

 

If you truly, madly, deeply HAVE to be a professional ballet dancer, than no matter what the odds are, I have faith you'll overcome them. Will it take some time and proper training? Yes. But that doesn't have to mean going away to CPYB or another residency in order for it to happen. Many schools across the US produce professional dancers every season. Definitely find one in your area, and it's also time to focus on what you really, really want from ballet. It's time to get over the insecurities, simply because they will not help you advance, but will have the opposite effect. Every class you take, embrace the joy of movement.

[maddiefish]

Thank you very much for their reply. My dad was somewhat of a professional, and my mom just took classes, so I guess it does make sense that they would "know how hard it is".

I will try to get my grades back up and generally use your advice. Thanks again.

[Clara 76]

Please keep us posted, Maddiefish.