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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Difficulty leaving a dance studio


Amylynn

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Amylynn, I really admire you for trying to maintain that line of respect while you sort all of these conflicting emotions out. It's so hard to do that! There's no crystal ball here, so all you can do is the best you know of, and trust that it's the right decision for NOW. The past is the past and later comes later. You can only get there by going through the here and now. :) Best of luck to you.

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Thanks for good advice!

I talked with the teacher today. She wanted to offer a change/lowering of fees if that would make a difference and cause us to keep her in the school and I explained again that it was not about the money-but about what was best for my daughter. If it had been about the money we would have never signed up as her fees are higher than PNB!!! It was very difficult and she was a bit argumentative and very much focused on the performance in October- not my daughter's well being. I was kind but honest in sharing again our concern for our dd and handling it the best we could- letting them know 4 MONTHS in advance so they can have the other lead performer fill the role on both nights. (she has already learned the same role as my dd)

 

She informed me that the $1000 production fee was given to the high level students (my dd being one of only 2 upper level students) to cover the cost of a $20,000 production cost. :) For a total of 31 students in the school I'd say they got in way over there heads and no, they did not let us know ANYTHING up front and and there was no explanation of this with the production fee notice.

 

I understand teachers enjoying and coming to really care about their students but there is a level of professionalism appropriate to these situations- this teacher is telling me she is very upset and not going to the studio to teach because of it...I feel like she was trying everything she could to cause me to feel bad for HER and change my mind. It is not the reaction of someone who truly cares about the young person they have been teaching.

 

I hope I have not said too much. I am sad and tired but I know it is time to move on and I pray that my daughter finds her way with peace and joy- it is already coming back into her eyes. I see now the heaviness she was under going there every day.

 

I just wanted to let you know what happened.

thanks,

Amylynn

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dancemaven

A big cyber hug to you! :hyper::) I can understand that your DD's situation is not easy and your decisions are very hard to both make and follow through on. I commend you for your quiet strength and resolve to do what is best for your DD. The fact that you see light coming back into her eyes is really all the confirmation you need to know you have, in fact, make the appropriate decision for this particular situation.

 

I believe you should shoulder absolutely no guilt or accept one iota of concern that your decision has left the school's production 'in the lurch'. There is, as you have noted, both plenty of time to rehearse and prepare a second dancer to share the lead role with the other one already in place. The school's decision to incur a $20,000 production cost burden for a pre-professional school of 31 dancers with a top advanced level of only 2 dancers says much more about the school's lack of reasoned management.

 

You seem to be managing this with gracious strength. Best wishes to both you and your DD.

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A big cyber hug to you! :) :) I can understand that your DD's situation is not easy and your decisions are very hard to both make and follow through on. I commend you for your quiet strength and resolve to do what is best for your DD. The fact that you see light coming back into her eyes is really all the confirmation you need to know you have, in fact, make the appropriate decision for this particular situation.

 

I believe you should shoulder absolutely no guilt or accept one iota of concern that your decision has left the school's production 'in the lurch'. There is, as you have noted, both plenty of time to rehearse and prepare a second dancer to share the lead role with the other one already in place. The school's decision to incur a $20,000 production cost burden for a pre-professional school of 31 dancers with a top advanced level of only 2 dancers says much more about the school's lack of reasoned management.

 

You seem to be managing this with gracious strength. Best wishes to both you and your DD.

 

Dancemaven- thanks, I really needed that hug! I really appreciate your words. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to me. We will see what our dd decides to do about dance in her future after a much needed rest.

Amylynn

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Momof3darlings

Hang in there Amylynn! And read dancemaven's post over and over, I think it says it all.

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Amylynn, I read through your heartfelt posts earlier today, but decided to wait and re-read everything later to see if my opinion has changed. It hasn't.

 

The way I see it, you have a teacher who has gotten in way over her head as far as this October production goes. No wonder your daughter is no longer enjoying dance! In my eyes, this teacher is manipulative, using emotional blackmail to get her students and their parents to buy into (literally and figuratively) this idea. I doubt there's much joy in these rehearsals--I imagine the teacher is pressuring the kids to live up to her grand ideas, rehearsing them to death, and probably demanding they live up to an unattainable ideal of perfection. When I read about the unannounced $1000 fee, it virtually jumped off the page (screen) waving a fistful of red flags! Now she is trying emotional blackmail, making you feel guilty about doing what you feel (or rather know) is best for your daughter. Hang in there! Hopefully after some time away your daughter will rediscover the joy in dance. I commend you for how you are handling this difficult situation, and I wish you and your daughter all the best.

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