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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Advice on quitting/leaving ballet


balletbabe823

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I'm 14 years old. I did ballet from when I was 3, until I was 8 and then I quit. I came back to ballet two years ago and have advanced very quickly. I really do love ballet.

 

I was planning on going to CPYB this summer and then switching to a more professional studio in the fall. However, last week during spring break, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and my family and I have decided that it would be best if I stay home for the summer and not go to CPYB. The problem is that all auditions for New York intensives have passed (I live in a suburb on long island 30 min away from the city).

 

I still have time to audition for the local intensive I did last summer which was great. I'm just not sure I want to be doing ballet this summer. Last summer, I was always tired from dancing so much, and I feel like that may not be what I need right now.

 

When I went back to ballet class this week, it was really difficult for me. It was so overwhelming, the heat, sweating, and loud classical music. I've heard that physical activity can really bring out emotions, and I definitely felt tears coming on. I couldn't follow any combination. Instead of the ballet helping me express my sadness, I just started feeling sick. I started feeling nauteous and a head ache came on.

 

I know that this is probably normal for someone who has just found out that her dad has cancer, but I'm concerned that this will continue. I'm hesitant to audition for the summer intensive for a couple of reasons:

 

-I'm terribly out of shape and the audition is in the beginning of may.

-I'm not sure that I want to be dancing this summer.

 

If I don't do an intensive this summer, I know I will be out of shape for switching to the new studio in the fall. I also am not sure how my dad will be next year. I'm really conflicted.

 

Anyone have any advice?

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Before you dance in summer, because you are displaying symptoms, I have to recommend that you have a nice long complete physical from your family physician. I'm very leery of giving you technical advice on ballet when you've been somewhat ill from past exertion in warm weather. Headache and nausea may not be a sign of major disease, but you need a comprehensive look at your own well-being, especially when another member of your family is seriously ill. The stress can really do a number on you!

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Boxwoodgirl, I had to delete your post before mine. You're a parent, and although you meant well, this forum is for students 13-16 and the teacher-moderators only.

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I've had a similar situation:

 

My sister died from cancer in 2005, when I was just starting to take ballet seriously. After about a month off, I decided to try again. It was extremely hard at first. Most nights I had trouble falling asleep and lay awake crying. Most days were no better. That was when my family decided to get me a counselor. Not the school type, it was someone who did that as there job. I don't even remember what we talked about, but I remember after I always felt better afterwards. As this started, life started to get normal again. I started to not skip school or ballet. Time will help, but it didn't fix it for me fully. Try a counselor, and if you can't find one, you may have one at school.

 

Good Luck, and i am very sorry about your dad.

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I, too was in a similar situation, twice.

 

My father passed away in 2008, when I was only 13. I was finally progressing in ballet, and then BAM! At first, it was really hard to dance, seeing as I just kept replaying everything over and over in my head. I'm usually super outgoing, and I was very quiet that day. When I finally told people what was going on, they were super supportive and it made me feel a lot better. After that day, ballet was my safe haven.

 

Last year, however, my mother discovered she had colon cancer, and was to have surgery to remove a tumor. I was living away from home at the time, dancing, and I couldn't focus in class at all. I was on the verge of tears the entire time and I just didn't know what to do. At the end of class, my teacher knew something was up, so I told her what was going on. Surprisingly, she was totally supportive, seeing as she had gone through a similar situation herself. In addition, a classmate of mine's mother had colon cancer, which was in remission. Her mother's diagnosis was far more serious than my mothers, though. She calmed me down a lot, and it really made me feel better about a terrible situation. Luckily, my mother is perfectly okay now.

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this situation. I hope your father gets better.

 

-Dana

 

PS: I agree about a counselor, they can do wonders. I learned that you have to be totally honest about them, though. If you don't "click" with one, yet continue to see him/her, you'll be miserable.

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  • 2 weeks later...

We are very sorry to hear of your difficulties polyhymnia. Your love of ballet is evident in the way you write. It is unfortunate that your health is of such concern. It is best to follow the medical advice of your health care professionals and your mother who really do know more about you and your particular health issues. Please understand, while our hearts go out to you and we do wish you well, it is best that you not receive opinions from others who do not know you nor your health concerns. At this time I am making your post invisible until the Moderating Team is able to decide if it is appropriate for the YD forum or perhaps it might be moved to another forum. Thank you for your understanding.

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