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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Miscommunication exposes my own fears


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From a more long-term perspective, maybe it would help to hear of some of the positives that come out of ballet training for men! The ballet world requires such focus, self-discipline, and early independence in many ways, that kids moving into the professional world seem far more mature, to me, than other kids of their age, generally speaking. Not that there aren't meny kids from other backgrounds that achieve emotional maturity and life independence early--I know that there are! But I do want to underscore the maturity we see, and hear about here on this site, that is typical of the serious ballet student. And for guys, living through some social pressure against their chosen focus, there is an additional appreciation of diversity, and a freedom to explore the arts. They have to believe in themselves to move forward. Rather than coming through those earlier years victimized or scarred, they seem to come out bouyant and self-assured, and, from what I can see, quite happy!


If you were to visit a residential program with lots of male dancers, and see their great energy, spirit, and comfort with what they are doing, you would immediately feel relieved. But, I guess, the relief will mainly come from looking at those qualities in your own son. We all will be here for you on his, and your journey.

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Vision, you are so right about the benefits, maturity and life long lessons that male dancers have. My son has been in a residential setting for 3 years now and he is happier now than he has ever been. He's confident and extremely focused on his future. I teach at the high school level and I don't know many if any 16 year olds with his or his dancing peers maturity and focus on their future careers.

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Thank you all so much for your input. I just want to clarify, I am very happy that DS is doing ballet. He is only 9 but I see passion in him, and its real.

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My son is 9 also. I thought he would be emabressed, so I didnt sign him up for all the optional exposures that his school does in the community. He set me straight on that one really uick. And I am SO glad he did.


He wears his ballet schools jacket with pride. He dances in all community shows and events. He has no desire to keep a low profile for fear of being teased. And I know that he has been.


I am so proud of him.


Its sad b/c when they see my daughter all dressed up in her ballet outfit they coo and say how wonderful it is that I have a girl that I can put into ballet. Now I proudly tell them my son dances in a prepro class also.

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I have made invisible a few posts on this thread to allow the moderating team to discuss the direction of the thread. In the meantime, it might be a good idea to simply discuss the main issues of this thread: expectations, pitfalls, perceptions and misjudgements that may occur when parenting a male dancer and let's walk away from discussing any one specific person and the issues that may or may not drive their personal life and medical history. Especially since it has been stated that this was miscommunication to begin with.


Also a reminder that this is the Parents of Boys forum and unless you are a moderator or the Parent of a Male dancer, you are not supposed to comment on this thread.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks to all that contributed to this thread. In the time since my original post I have come to grips with the fact that there will be some people who do have issues with those who maybe walk to the beat of a different drummer. My coworkers, many of them, are like a second family, as over the course of a year we spend 6-8 months together away from our homes. Taking my wifes advice, I approached a couple who when finding out about my son's activity, gave rather strange or cold reactions. I think I might have opened a couple of minds, but I have one coworker, while he tried to be polite about it, really has some crazy ideas about how things work. I got another round of "ballet, ooh, geez, ".......Oh well, nothing you can do about that.


When I got home, I decided to talk to DS about reactions he might have recieved. He said that back when he started some kids picked on him, but said he doesn't care, that they are the same kids that have been on his case for other things for as far back as he remembers. I told him as long he wanted to dance, I would be in his corner. I apologized to him that it took so long to realize how much he enjoyed it. I told him I was proud of him, and to remember that he has to live his life his way, and he needs to live it to his satisfaction, not to the whims of others. Anyway, thanks to all who contribute to this board, it has been a great resource.

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Glad things are working out!

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