No underwear?

[dkd]

My DD's studio just put up their new schedule and dress code on their website and one of the dress code rules is no underwear under leo's.

DD is upset about this. She just got her period last month and has already been worrying about wearing a pad under her leo and now the no underwear rule too!

 

I did a forum search and saw that 'no undies' is fairly common. I don't know, I may let her break that rule some

 

The studio is trying to become more professional, so I guess this is a step in that direction. I even saw it in the dress code for the smaller girls.

 

Another mom told me that she had heard they were going to require ribbons on all ballet shoes also, but I haven't see that in writing----yet. Is that very common?

[Guest coupe66]

No underwear under leotards and tights is quite common. Ribbons on the shoes, it depends. Our studio requires them for the older girls (pre-pointe and above), but it is a Russian based studio, so maybe that's why I'm not sure.

[DianneC]

We learned about the no underwear rule right before my dd's first year-end performance at 5. She was uncomfortable about it at first, but now at 12 wouldn't have it any other way. She does wear nude dance briefs on occasion to feel a little bit more secure at that time of the month.

[Balletlove]

Wearing no underwear is the norm, and from a purely logical point of view, there is absolutely no need for underwear (you wouldn't wear any under your swimming costume would you?) So your DD may very well feel a little uncomfortable initially but she will be used to it within just a few lessons I promise my DD adapted very quickly although I must confess I still havent

 

I think that MOST teachers are quite understanding about when young girls have their period and will often even allow "booty shorts" at that time of the month; from your pointe of view though I would be understanding of the studio's rules though and ensure that when she does "need" to wear underwear that it is as unnoticeable as possible (think ladies nude coloured no visible line type underwear) and not the flowery/spotty etc underwear that she might normally wear and maybe team that together with some slightly thicker tights than normal?

Alternatively you may want to give your DD the option of trying tampons? Unless you are seriously against them, buy them for her (preferably give her both types and let her choose), leave them in her room and let her make her own decisions with regards to them. If she is ready for it, she will give it a try (and it may take a box or two before she works it out) if she is not ready to try tampons that is her right to choose.

[Victoria Leigh]

Tights ARE underwear. It would help if they understood that from the time they started wearing tights.

 

In terms of the period, when they have it for the first few times, most teachers will allow a little leniency, such as nude underwear, mentioned above. I would not allow booty shorts under any circumstances. Possibly the short ballet skirt, but that would be it. If they are serious students, they should try tampons as soon as possible, as they will be far more comfortable once they get used to it.

[Curandera]

Alternatively you may want to give your DD the option of trying tampons? Unless you are seriously against them, buy them for her (preferably give her both types and let her choose), leave them in her room and let her make her own decisions with regards to them. If she is ready for it, she will give it a try (and it may take a box or two before she works it out) if she is not ready to try tampons that is her right to choose.

Um, sorry, but it sounds like you are chickening out a bit there. It is uncomfortable to talk about, but you need to do more than throwing a box in her room and running away! We bought the smallest size possible. I laid down on the bed with my clothes on and showed her how to insert and suggested she kinda twist and push a little, twist and push, using the other hand to find the opening and keep it open. Yes, it was extremely embarrassing and I felt like a down right fool. But it helped not only to show her how but to ease her into future discussions we have had. By the way, the movie "Easy A" was an intro to a dildo. I admit it was hard trying to explain and not laugh when the dog in the movie was using it as chew toy. The movie also showed a nice relationship between the heroine and her mom talking about sex.

 

Too much information? Yes. But better than the alternative - not enough and it's too late.

 

Oh about the no underwear question. We handled that one with a trip to Victoria's Secret and buying flesh colored thongs. The shop is sexy to adults but to a young girl it was pretty and girly. She felt grown up and thongs are just a little extra security to hold a strip in place during that time of the month. Obviously, she uses tampons with the strip.

[Balletlove]

Curandera - I promise I did not just throw the boxes in her room. I gave her IMO a good explanation as to what to do with the tampons; BUT, I also gave her the choice to decide what she wanted to use, she took to them easily and has never looked back. In my previous life (as a teacher - not ballet) I talked more than one young lady through this before a swim meet.

 

Miss Leigh, I am curious as to why you do not allow your dancers to wear "booty" shorts, just in case we don't mean the same thing, what my DD refers to as "booty" shorts are made out of lycra (the same colour as her leo) fit just above the hip and sit straight on the leg like a pair of "boy cut" panties?!

[Victoria Leigh]

Because I don't like the look of them, and I do not feel that they are appropriate for a classical ballet class.

[Curandera]

Balletlove, sorry I took your comment too literally. I guess I was projecting my own experience. The girls were separated from the boys one day and the nuns showed us a box of pads. That was it. No comments, no questions. Mom asked if the nuns had talked to me that day. I said yes. She breathed a sigh of relief, handed me a box and left!

 

I don't hold it against them. I think it is pretty funny in retrospect. But there was no way I was going to repeat the process with my daughter!

[cowgrrl]

My DD has not started but prefers to wear a pantyliner when shes in class just in case. I hadn't given much thought to the entire issue so I appreciate the nude undies suggestion.

I don't mind the undies on the little girls but as one of the dance moms said at our studio 'Girls, we're not little anymore. No more panties under our leotards'.

[Albini]

I buy high cut underwear and no one notices. I take that statement as "No visable underwear" b/c if someone is actually stripping my daughter to find a pair of teeny underwear I am leaving.

 

We are allowed booty shorts if they are on thier period. No reason to make the girls feel uncomfortable. We want to be enoucraging and supportive. And the school is niether if once a month the girls are ashamed or embaressed.

[Pasdetrois]

Parent of older dancer here but moderators I believe parents of younger dancers benefit greatly by hearing what those of us did when it comes to certain issues, especially if the outcome was positive.

 

My DD's started periods in 7th and 8th grade. They refused pads and went straight to tampons. It's what they realized was used at home and so I wasn't surprised. We have never dealt with the pad issue and for them their maturation has never been a problem because of their very open verbal commitment to their own desires. I can't believe I am the only parent who experienced this. We have been extremely open in discussions since the first question was posed by my eldest when she was 2 years old ... yes, she really did ask amazing questions and I gave honest 2 year old appropriate and understandable answers.

 

I remember dealing with pads and ballet and was so grateful when my elder sister introduced me to tampons.

[dancingjet]

My DD has worn tights as underwear in ballet since about age five. When the time comes to deal with her period, she knows she's free to try whatever she feels most comfortable with in terms of products and has them ready to go when the time arrives. I have no problem whatsoever with her using tampons from the start, as I can't imagine trying to wear a leotard and tights and deal with a pad too. If she feels she needs something besides her tights in terms of underwear I'll help her figure that out, so long as they aren't apparent to anyone else.

[vagansmom]

We bought thongs and narrow pads. Then on to tampons and thongs. A friend suggested taking a bottle with a narrow opening and demonstrating how to push the tampon in, so dd could get used to how hard to push before trying on the body itself. That worked nicely. And yes, I then demonstrated the same way as Curandera and yes, it was embarrassing.

 

Pasdetrois, thank goodness for big sisters! My experience growing up was the same as yours. Big sis came home from college and voila!

[BalletFamily]

Thanks for this topic. I was going to post on it but did a search first. My daughter (5th grade, age 10, no signs of puberty yet) insists on wearing shorts in ballet class (she wears slim fitting leggings over a leo for contemporary). Fortunately her studio is fine with this. The girls need to wear the usual black leo and pink tights but a skirt or shorts are fine if they are black (my daughter refuses to even consider a skirt).

 

I've assumed that she wants the shorts because her underwear shows otherwise and that seems to be correct. I warned her that, when she goes to SI auditions next month (first time we're doing that), she can't wear underwear. She just came in when I was reading this thread and I summarized it for her and you should have seen her faces. "The tights are underwear," I told her. More faces.

 

So I guess I'll keep an eye out for high-cut nude color form-fitting undies but, until then, no undies or shorts for auditions (except the first one where it seems few even wear tights). (Suggestions? She's small for her age and wears size 7 girls clothes.)

 

What everyone's saying makes sense to me but I hadn't really thought about it since no one ever mentions it at the studio, not even for performances (only older dancers wear costumes where underwear might show). When I was on my high school gymnastics team, we could wear what we wanted for practice but for competitions we were required to ditch the undies and had to wear a special nylon pair that were the same color as the team leotard (we got docked points if we didn't, or if we wore makeup, nail polish, etc).

 

As for the other topic, she insists that she will only ever wear pads, despite my having used nothing but tampons for my entire life (except post-partum). I expect that resolve will disappear the first time she tries to dance in a leotard and tights with a pad (or wants to go swimming). I have both pads and tampons in all sizes saved for her.