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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Television: "Dancemoms" on Lifetime

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Last night's episode was intense!!! Christy (Chloe's mom) is a good example of a mom who is too invloved/invested and needs to just step back and let it go. Chloe is a beautiful and very talented dancer, but Christy's behavior is tainting her daughter.

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Yes, very intense! I wonder if she will really leave the school? Probably not. I felt bad for the kids having to witness her outbursts and the other mom cursing back at her. Way over the top.


I thought it odd that the one mom with two girls taking dance said that she probably spends aroung $40,000/yr for dance.....but don't tell her husband. How could her husband not know that she's spending that much on dance? :blink:

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I finally watched the show. I get it's sliced and diced and produced. Is it real? The children were crying. Adults were screaming and swearing in front of the *children* who were crying in their mothers' arms. Would people really make such small children cry like that? Has anyone ever actually seen any parents act like that at dance studios/competitions?


It's a billion times worse than any less- than- stellar parent behavior I've ever seen at any sporting event. If a parent ever went ballistic like that, I am sure someone would call 911. I know if I saw that at the ball field, I would.


They are like Hockey Fathers on steriods. I can't believe it, don't want to believe it...except those children were crying. It was gut-wrenching. I can't watch that again.

Edited by Elsee
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I watched off and on last night and more and more of the parent interactions appear staged. The ladies in the meal scene appeared as if they were acting out a scene and discussing things brought to them by others more than an actual conversation. Even some little giggles of "I can't believe I just said that" were caught in camera angles. Of all the competitions I've been to, I've never been to one where it appeared anyone had private dressing rooms unless it was a huge studio all in one room. Never been to one with mostly empty seats in the theatre/auditorium during the age group that those girls are and never seen an open bottle of any sort of alcohol on the premises. I'm sorry but other parents would have handled that situation before the owner had to do anything about it because they would not want it around their children. A real life teacher would have taken the bottle and removed it from the area not picked up the bottle and put it back down with simply a "stop drinking". Now I have seen a few parent altercations but I've seen those in ballet studios also and I have met a few dance parents along the way who fit similar profiles even in ballet studios but none were as inflated as this. (Well maybe 2 were :blink: )


Some dancers also compete more than one solo when they can afford it. That's not some oddity. Asking a parent not to enter it would be like a dancer at YAGP competing a classical but a parent asking a friend not to enter the contemporary variation so their child could have a better chance of placing. Silly! I will say though, at the studio desk where I work, a beloved teacher just resigned to teach someplace closer to home (she had been driving an hour to us one way in heavy traffic so that one hour was really two to be safe) and I've been very surprised at some of the parental calls I've had to field and how angry some have been at the studio when all they did was accept the resignation, wish her well and hire a new teacher. Maybe it's not too far a stretch after all and just inflated versions of things Abby Lee really has had happen over the years?


I can't explain the crying kids, if those things really happen then that lady is bonkers.

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The kids are not "acting out" crying. The losers in this show are the children and shame, shame, shame on their parents for not standing up for them.

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If that crying was acting, give those kids their Emmys right now. Those children were sobbing. Who would do that to children? How can that show not go against some kind of child labor protection/abuse laws? That was reprehensible. People really will trade their childrens' souls for money, won't they? I am wondering what some of the fathers of these children are thinking.

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Oh dear lord....what a hot mess!!! My DD said "They were screaming like that in front of their kids?!?" I think that sums it up. I personally have a serious problem with alcohol in the dressing room. It is amazing to me how many parents think that backstage equals happy hour. I made a few enemies last Nut season because I refused to drink along with all the other parents during and between performances. Now keep in mind, we are talking about backstage at a major theatre in a professional setting. I am not a teetotaler, but with a long day and a longer commute home late at night, it is just not a good idea. Not to mention it is not a secure area and you have scantily clad little girls running around! I'm curious, does anyone else feel it is inappropriate to drink backstage with young children? Or am I just being an uptight mom? LOL

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Drinking backstage would not have been allowed by any of the companies DD performed with as a student and would not have been allowed at DD2s competition studio. The ADs not only wouldn't have allowed it, but we as parents wouldn't have tried it either. It's not a reflection of whether one drinks or not, it is respect for the children in the environment and not infringing on the rights of the other children and parents in the room in a chaperoning type environment.

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Now that I'm back north of the border I haven't been able to watch this show. Maybe I'm not missing too much.


Drinking backstage? Now, when my dd was the age of those kids she did do competitions so I know how crowded and busy it can get. Never would it have crossed my mind to have alcohol - and even if I felt like having a drink that would have been just one more thing to carry and organize. Couldn't they wait until they got home, or back to the hotel? (probably a silly question...)

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"I finally watched the show. I get it's sliced and diced and produced. Is it real? The children were crying. Adults were screaming and swearing in front of the *children* who were crying in their mothers' arms. Would people really make such small children cry like that? Has anyone ever actually seen any parents act like that at dance studios/competitions?"


ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In fact it happened quite often when we were doing the competition "thing". But Phoenix is very, very, very competitive in competition dance. At one point, we had 2 moms at our studio that seriously almost came to blows over one girl standing in front of another girl in every class. Sad. One of those girls doesn't dance anymore and one just does pom now.

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There are times when I wish I had a real drink in the silver challise I toast with during the Nutcracker party...but no, I have never even thought of bringing real alcohol in.

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just saw this show and I am wondering what actual dance experience Abby Lee herself has had. On her bio, it only lists the experiences her students have had. Has she ever danced professionally? Or has she ever danced at all? How is she qualified to teach ballet for example?

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Has anyone ever actually seen any parents act like that at dance studios/competitions?


No, I haven't. My dd has been competing for 6 years at more competitions than I can count and I have never seen anything like that. Some moms get miffed or feel slighted for various reasons. But they just stop talking about the subject, to each other and some have left the studio without word one other than private discussions with the SO.


I have been to some competitions when I have seen some girls on stage forget their routines or have not been happy performing them and are crying off stage. One of our dancers cried after she left stage because she hurt her knee during the performance and performed through it and it was painful. She was better in a few days. Mine once waited until after the performance, after the awards, after all the good byes and until we were in the car to start crying because she thought she was going to score higher. (It was a rough schedule to boot where we had to stay up late the night before, get up super early the next day and wait around a long time for the awards. She was really tired.) We talked about it being okay to be upset but we needed to wait for the judge's comments to plan a strategy to help her dancing.


The girls who have left the studio to go to a competitor still facebook good wishes to our girls and vice versa. We have seen each other at competitions and wish each other luck and cheer for them and they us. There are no unkind words or anything but nice behavior to the SO and the SO is courteous as well.


I have never heard any curse words, no drinking, no shouting. This show is beyond ridiculous. There should be a law against letting these kids be part of this train wreck.

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There is No drinking backstage ever at the theater. We do have an after party after the final performance of Nut, and after the final performance of the Spring Production. Wine is served at the after parties, but I have never seen anyone get out of line. I don't personally have a glass of wine at the after party because I've worked long hours and I have a long commute home, and we usually don't get home until after midnight, so drinking would be a dangerous choice for me. I often wish I could have a glass of wine at the after party, though!


I guess I have been most fortunate in that in all of the years my dd has been dancing (that would be 11 years and 3 different studios - I'm including pre-ballet years in this because parents of young children can be just as crazy as parents of older kids - witness Toddlers and Tiaras!) I have never seen any parent behavior that even remotely resembles the level of crazy on this show.

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My daughter spent 5 years doing the competition thing before committing solely to a pre-pro ballet school. Sadly, I've seen a lot of moms act the way the do on this show. My daughter danced at a studio where they didn't allow bare midriffs and suggestive lyrics, but we saw so many little girls doing raunchy dance moves in what equates to bikinis on stage or dancing to songs with lyrics about having sex. I'd see their mothers hoot and hollar at them during their routines, then run backstage and berate them for doing something wrong. I saw moms argue with their kids, argue with each other, and basically set really bad examples by only clapping for their own studio performers and getting up and leaving in the middle of other dancer's performances. There are a lot of moms that aren't like this, but in the 5 years we attended comptetions, I saw it happen at every competition and I don't miss it one bit.

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