How to Convince Parents?

[Kasumi]

Last week, I finished my last recreational once a week ballet class for the summer. I wanted to continue for the year once a week, and until next summer I'd possibly try out the intermediate session. I proceeded to ask my parents if I could continue taking it for the year recreationally (once a week) but they declined. Them being Asian, *sigh* I guess are just stricter by nature. My mom always tells me to keep my head focus entirely on school and nothing else, but I'm naturally a hardworking student already who earns good grades. Probably she thinks I'll slack off or become obsessive with it or something?

 

She's just like, "What possible benefits will this have for you?" In a rhetorical and irritated manner. My parents don't think arts have much impact so they're just like whatever about it.

 

They told me I could just do it again next summer, but the thing with ballet is that you're supposed to be continuous with it, correct?

 

I really want to continue, even if it's only once a week. But I'm not sure to convince them since they always seem to think I'm disrespectful for trying to voice myself.

[Clara 76]

Major Mel has more than passing experience with many Asian cultures, so I'm sure he will have some advice for you.

 

Meanwhile, yes, ballet is learnt by repetition, and a good quantity of time.

 

Some of the benefits of ballet are:

1. Exercise- ballet makes your body graceful and lean

2. Mental stimulation- studies have shown that dancers tend to be smarter than average and able to multitask because they are equally utilizing portions of the brain that do not get stimulation in any way but ballet

3. Learning about history- throughout our classes, we teachers impart some of the history of art, dance, stagecraft, music, and even science! That is reinforcement for your academic studies

4. Posture- Ballet moreso than anything else, teaches your body how to be in proper alignment, and it becomes a lifelong habit. Studies have shown that people who have great posture are seen as poised leaders at work

5. Personal fulfillment- a life enhanced by personal fulfillment in pursuit of a lofty art form is never a waste of time.

[Mel Johnson]

Hi, Kasumi, and welcome to the forum.

 

Frequency of study would be an issue here, but we should leave that quite aside while we address a more pressing issue, getting you into classes AT ALL!

 

Parents who don't want their children to do extracurricular activities, particularly in the arts, are not limited to Asian families. How do your parents feel about pursuing traditional arts from their own culture, like calligraphy, painting, poetry, or even martial arts?

[Kasumi]

@Clara: thank you so much for listing those benefits! I'll include them when I try to ask them again. They're like the "when we say no once, we mean it" type of parents. D:

 

My parents were perfectly fine with martial arts before; they saw self-defense as a good reason to take it. With calligraphy, painting, poetry, I don't think they'd agree to. If it's anything that's like self-expression, they see no good in and shrug it off.

 

The only reasons I was allowed to take ballet for the summer was with a lot of free time it'd give me something to do. I just can't imagine not including some dance during the school year.

 

Schoolwork must be the biggest reason. *sigh* They worry I'll slack off, but As I said, I'm a really dedicated student too.

[Mel Johnson]

OK, so we've established that your parents are reluctant to support an activity which does not lead to either physical or financial security. There's nothing particularly Asian about that. You want the classes, so you now have to advocate for yourself. If you get the "talk back" lecture, tell them that you're practicing for your career as a lawyer. And yes, there have been professional ballet dancers who have become successful lawyers.

[sautdechat1921]

Kasumi, could you inquire at your local studio about teaching assistant positions? Several of the studios in my area make deals so that students who help out with the smallest, least experienced children (four year olds are such a handful! ) can get a discount or the like on regular classes. You'd be in the studio for more time overall as well. Would your parents be more supportive if there was financial benefit involved?

 

I do hope you are able to spend at least some time dancing. Sometimes you just have to get up and move!