Coping with Rejection

[Clara 76]

The following is Pointeprovider's post, and it was so good we thought it would make a good sticky for parents to refer to to help their dancers through auditions:

 

Imagine that you have gone shopping for a new dress. The store is full of lovely dresses, but, after eliminating the vast majority by size, style, etc., you narrow it down to 2 dresses. One is a lovely navy dress that suits many occasions and can look classy or casual, and it fits perfectly and has many lovely features, more than the other dress has.

 

The other dress fits less well and has less wonderful special features, BUT, ever since childhood, periwinkle has been your favorite color, and you just love periwinkle; it is also harder to find than navy on the racks.

 

If the economy were great, you might buy both dresses and find good uses for both and would happily buy both. But, you can't buy both. You choose the periwinkle dress because, although the navy dress is wonderful and perfect in many ways, it doesn't make your heart skip a beat like the color periwinkle does. The periwinkle dress might not fit as well or have as many attributes, but you just love periwinkle and choose it when you can find it.

 

I really think that many A.D.s just have certain deep-seated preferences. If they had enough money to hire more dancers, they could hire a wider range who would all be great, but, when money is tight, those inexplicable preferences, which we all have, win out. It's nothing personal. If you're lucky enough to be the periwinkle dress, you will be chosen a that company. Another company might absolutely love navy.

 

Edited to add: If you are the navy dress, don't be upset because you are not periwinkle. You can't turn into a periwinkle dress. Let the periwinkle dress be the periwinkle dress, and concentrate on becoming the most wonderful, marketable navy dress in the store. Someone will buy you and be delighted, and you will be happy for being loved as you are.

 

Try to the best of your ability to choose a company for which you are a good fit, as best you can ascertain this in advance. I think we have all bought a clothing item on a whim which wasn't in keeping with our usual style. It's fun for a while, but then we find that we think, "Why did I ever buy this? It doesn't match my other things", and, in suffering buyer's remorse, we find that we wear it less and less and then donate it to Goodwill.

 

No one wants to be the object of an A.D.'s buyer's remorse; every dancer wants to feel confident and appreciated as they are (while always striving and improving, of course). So, if you don't end up being the periwinkle dress for the company of your dreams, it might be a blessing in disguise and might save you disappointment later. If you represent yourself honestly and well, and stay in the best form that you can, you stand a good chance of being chosen for a place where you will thrive.

 

Added observations: In this economy, less potential buyers are going to the dress shop, but it only takes that one, the right one. Just be of good quality, with no ripped seams, holes, stains, etc., and try to stay on the rack as long as possible, to be there when the right buyer shows up. And, finally, very few dresses are going to end up in Kate Middleton's closet, but there are other closets containing other nice dresses.

[Victoria Leigh]

This topic is open for discussion on the Career General Discussion forum, so the Sticky is closed. The title of the topic is Career Paths and re-grouping.