Daughter wanting to quit after SI rejection

[emrsn23]

Noodles, it's hard because I can see and know clearly that she is receiving amazing training abroad. That is the only reason why I am allowing her to complete the year scholarship. She was already pushing for year two and we have come to a place where we disagree and in which case, I trump her and she will have to get over it. I am not done parenting her and she needs to get her education back on an acceptable track. I miss her more than I ever thought possible, I literally had to see a doctor because I couldn't cope well enough on my own. Just 5 more months and she will be back.

[Noodles]

Oh emrsn11, my heart hurts for you! I hope these next 5 months fly by :-)

 

I hope that you and your DD write a review on the program that she is attending for others who may be considering it in the future.

[swanchat]

emrsn11,

 

Every word you've written has resonated with me. It does become a fast moving train. The same thing happened to our daughter. She was offered a full scholarship to train abroad at 14. She had turned 15 by the time she went. We agreed that we would take one year at a time and look at it in the way we would have looked at an opportunity to be an exchange student. We set mutual goals and we never stopped parenting. It just is harder to parent from an ocean away. We said she had to demonstrate maturity and be smart in order for her to continue training there. She also knew and agreed with our expectation that she would graduate with an American high school diploma having taken a college prep curriculum. She followed the curriculum in the same manner that she would have if she had been living in our home. The school director and the Pastoral Head knew that we were still active and involved parents and they respected our requests for her academic life.

 

We frequently cooked dinner "together" through Skype. I did my dinner prep and she cooked the same thing. She learned how to cook that way and I knew she was eating properly. One Sunday, we actually invited her into the family room and she watched part of a football game with us. All this to say, that it isn't easy but thankfully modern technology makes it easier to "be there." Through Skype, I got to know her friends and they got to know me. When I went to visit for parent's day, they all called me mom! (and still do)

 

There were many times when I wanted our daughter to quit. There were many times that I felt they stole my daughter from me. Truthfully, though my daughter is the one who longed to do the training, she's the one who made wise decisions when tempted to stray from family values and she earned the right to try to live her dream. In the process, she became a very well rounded, lovely caring young woman. Looking back, all of the sacrifice made it worth it. Your daughter's year abroad will have given her a much broader perspective on the world and allowing her to experience this will live with her forever. Give yourself a pat on the back for the enrichment!