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Ballet Talk for Dancers

How do I tell AD we're leaving?


myrrha

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I'm moving my DD to a new ballet school this fall because her current one has way too many problems, so many that I don't know why we stayed this long (she's been there for 5 years). I've posted all these before but here's a recap. For one, the AD (also my DD's instructor) always starts and ends class late (up to and hour late), she goes in and out of the room during class to do admin stuff leaving the students to work on their own and they spend a good deal of class time practicing for upcoming performances. My DD at 10 years old is already in the most advanced class because they always lose their older dancers (there aren't any that are older than 13). She also insisted that my 10 yo was ready for pointe (I know, I shouldn't have believed her) and I then found out that the method she used was to right away have them do their entire 2 hour technique class in pointe shoes! I took her pointe shoes away when I found that out. Luckily, she nor anyone else didn't get hurt. There are actually more complaints I have but these are the worst ones.

 

I pretty sure she already knows we're leaving and the school we are going to even though I never told her it directly. She keeps on bad mouthing the other school, telling me that the instructor there only pays attention to a few of her favorite students and never gives corrections to the other ones that aren't her favorite and that if my DD were to go there she would just get completely ignored (which I know is not true).

 

I can't think of a way to tell her why we're leaving without completely insulting her. I'm really tempted to just not say anything at all and just leave. I know she's going to try her best to try to convince me to stay and not accept they reasons I would give why we are leaving. What should I say?

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First, realize that you bring your daughter there to receive a service, dance instruction. That is the business, you are the customer. A customer of a business owes that business nothing, should they choose not to frequent that business in the future. Do you contract a carpet cleaning service, not like the job they did and then feel a responsibility to call them to explain why you won't be using them again? No. This is business, not personal.

 

Second, if you do feel a need to explain and are uncomfortable with a direct confrontation, send an email. If you don't feel the director would be receptive to your criticisms, don't give them. There's no reason to burn bridges in the small world of dance, IMO. Just inform them you will not be returning and thank them appropriately. I would refrain from saying anything about where you're going. It doesn't matter.

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Myrrha, this issue comes up often on BT4D. We have a number of threads discussing options and considerations, one in just the last week or two. Rather than re-typing and re-inventing the wheel, I would suggest you take a little time to browse through the Parents' Forums and read through others' experiences and recommendations.

 

Please do feel free to add to those conversations and ask additional questions you may have.

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