Terrible Anxiety

[AnimeBallet]

Hi. I'm 18 years old and in a little less than a month I will be starting college. I'm going a week early as part of an early dance program because I'm planning on one of my majors being dance. I'm increasingly nervous because I've always been overweight, most of the weight is around my butt and thighs) and have ALWAYS been the largest girl in my classes, by far. I always feel a little scared before I start a new class with new people, but I feel like at the college level, I'm going to be judged SO harshly. And not even by the teacher, but by the STUDENTS. Dance is my passion (my dream is to teach ballet to 3-8 year-olds because I also love working with younger kids), and I've taken classes for 5 years (one year of that was advanced jazz and one year was advanced and Pre-professional level ballet classes). My teachers have never said anything negative to me (in my last mid-year report my teacher said that my leaps and turns needed work, which I agree with, but that my technique was beautiful, I was very flexible, and applied corrections quickly) and I've never been bellow my age group even though last year was my first year of ballet, and I know that I'm nowhere near as good as the girls around me (though I am moderately more flexible than some), but that only pushes me to try harder (even if I feel terrible about my body after class). I'm not sure what I should do. I don't want everyone to look at me like I don't belong there just because of my size....

Edited July 22, 2013 by Victoria Leigh
Remove heigh/weight statistics.

[Victoria Leigh]

Hello Anime, and welcome to Ballet Talk for Dancers!

 

You may notice I removed the height/weight statistics from your post, as per our board regulations. I am sorry, but we do not discuss weight here on the board.

 

You know, I think all students going off to college for the first time have a lot of anxiety. It is not unusual for that to happen, and if you just realize that you are not alone with that, it should help a lot. You have made the decision to go, and that you want to dance, so now you are getting the opportunity to do it. Embrace that! Worrying about body type is not going to help anything, and it does not define you, especially if you have made the decision to accept where you are, have goals to where you want to be and how you plan to get there in 4 years, and put in the work, the time, the focus, and the commitment to your studies, then you will be fine. You are going to college to learn, but of course also to make new friends and to have a good time in your new life. Go with grace and dignity, and be a good and happy person who enjoys other people, enjoys your chosen areas of study, sets goals, and be happy with who you are!

 

There is a Nutrition and Health Forum here on the board, and you may find a lot of help there, too. It is a read only forum now, as we do not have any medical moderators to run it as an open forum any longer. But there is a lot to learn there, especially in the Pinned topics at the top of the forum.