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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Rejections and Frustration


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Happy you found the thread in a time of need.

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I am not sure this fits here, but my DD and I have noticed that timing is important. Sometimes a "no" is really just a "not now." My DD moved to another school this year and was given a scholarship. She and I truly believe that if she had moved earlier from the other school one or two years ago, she wouldn't have been offered the scholarship and been given the parts she was given this year.


She has learned that when she gets a "big" part, it is important to be emotionally and technically ready for it. If you are looking toward a ballet career, you do not want to have poor video footage of you dancing because you were given a part before you were really ready.


Also, she has realized that a disappointment and/or rejection is an opportunity for growth. It challenges her fortitude and solidifies her desire for a professional career. One door may close, but there is always another door to walk through--sometimes in the ballet world and sometimes in the outside world. And that's ok. Any "no" is hard to take, but it gives us time to reflect and regroup.


All that said--sometimes we also need a big hug and an ice cream cone!

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I'd like to add something about the rewards of sticking it through. I mentioned on another thread that our Nutcracker casting had a lot of people scratching their heads. More than a few girls dropped out because they didn't get the part they thought they deserved. As it turned out, a series of unusual circumstances happened at "the top" and several girls who were initially selected as understudies received the parts, and a few girls were "moved up" to fill vacancies. Those who declined their parts missed out on the possibility of having a great part after all, and now they are perceived as not being "team players" that may affect future casting.

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  • 11 months later...

Oh, this forum is so fabulous! Thank you so much to all of the past contributors! I just re-read it from start to finish to soak up advice for what my husband and I presume is a big rejection about to come. It is so helpful to have these tools to use to help DD. I'll spare everyone the details, but DD had what basically sounds like a very bad audition all around, capped by a fall at the end. I do believe that rejection and disappointment can make one stronger--but, oh! it hurts to watch the misery.

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My DD has actually taught me some things about rejection. As a young child she would cry and carry on about a rejection or disappointment for a few hours and then be over it. She never hung on to "failures." As a successful performer she has continued in that direction and it has served her well. Just move on because there is little that you can do about decisions made by pre-pro schools or artistic directors. "NEXT" is our favorite expression around here. This is good advice for all people regardless of whether or not they are dancers. The world is full of opportunities so don't get dragged down by a teacher or artistic director. There are other schools and companies out there. Just move on with your head held high.

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