Ignore issue and let dd handle or jump in?

[firedragon0800]

Clara76, Twelfthnight, momofthreedarlings, yes this is being taken as a good thing,

 

When dd was mid way in her third year, I couldn't come up with a payment on a multi-month pay plan, and asked if I could skip a month to which they said yes, but your daughter has to stay home until it is caught up. I wrote a letter to the Artistic Director, yes that one, asking for some understanding/leniency. After a few days and a week off received a call from the CFO, and worked out a way dd could attend, in the morning.

 

That afternoon I told dd after school that she was back in business, she was tremendously overjoyed! 10 minutes later received a call as we are heading out the door, from the CFO, rescinding the deal, it wasn't in his authority to make that offer and thus she had to stay home until the balance of $600 was paid. I told them I could not pay for a month, but would pay the whole balance at that time. No go. I asked what changed or who changed the thinking and was not given a name, but an extension. When I called the extension there was no understanding, just brick wall. No understanding that there was a 9 year old girl getting crushed.

 

A month came and went of which ten days was spring break, I paid the balance as I had committed called the registrar to confirm when dd could go back to class. I was then told dd could not rejoin the class as she had missed too much instruction and could get hurt and was therefore a liability. They would let us know in May if she will be invited back the following year.

 

I was dumbfounded, the person that made this decision did so because I had unwittingly by writing the AD usurped her authority and I suppose she wanted to make an example of dd, 1. Pay on time or else, 2. I am running the operations here.

 

I thought it was just a nice way of saying good bye, except in May even after missing the last third of the year dd was being invited back, and moving up as well.

 

Dd went to class today and bravely faced her class mates who were all pretty much shocked, the instructor had her demonstrate a lot, gave her compliments as she normally does and dd did well, but is just really confused.

 

There more I think about it the more I believe it was the bullying episode, it's a shame, but clara76 you are correct in pointing out that being exposed to such an environment is extremely harmful and counterproductive.

 

So we'll press on, as it is always darkest before the dawn, as my Grandmother was fond of saying.

[diane]

firedragon, what a wonderful phrase: "it is always darkest before the dawn".

 

From what you have written, I think it is amazing that you and your DD "stuck it out" for so long.

 

-d-

[firedragon0800]

-d-,

 

I know. Lol, It was like riding a tiger, if you get off you'll get eaten, and the alternative is you are riding a tiger!

 

I wish I could say that was the worst story, but sadly it isn't. That story, is the one that took whatever bloom was left on the rose off and ground it into the earth.

[dancemaven]

Perhaps the real bullies are not the ones snitching passwords . . . .

 

It takes strength to see past and resist the Kool-Aid . . . . .

 

I realize a ballet school (all ballet schools) are businesses and not charity events, but seems to me there are better, kinder, more appropriate ways of handling occasional financial setbacks.

[cat11]

I concur with dancemaven, I am stunned by your story and the lack of consideration that was demonstrated in a time of need. Seems very cold indeed. I can't help but think your DD will be much better off in the long run being somewhere else.

[camercad]

I am also struck by the lack of compassion. But, it does sound like a blessing in disguise. I’ve been in a situation where it was hard to see how unhealthy an environment had become until after I had left it and realized the negative impacts. Since your DD was able to dance and still grow in her past environment like this, I can only imagine how much she would blossom in a place where both she and you feel supported and encouraged.

[firedragon0800]

camercad, yes hard to see that you are in fact an "abused child". until you are in a situation where you are nurtured and cared for. I think a change of environment is just what the Dr. ordered.

 

The School has changed dramatically from the first couple of years, and it is hard to say if these changes are positive or negative as only time will tell. One thing I will tell you, now that the golden handcuffs are off it lifts some weight off her shoulders and mine.

[Momof3darlings]

Firedragon--I have hidden your post temporarily (and one that directly referenced something in your post) until we can discuss it with the Moderating Team. I will pm you details in the interim.

[Amie]

Life got in the way of my BT4D updates. Firedragon, so sorry to hear about the end to this situation, glad that you and DD are coming out of this looking on the positive side. I am sure things will turn out for the best in the end.

[firedragon0800]

Thanks Amie, so much is still going on regarding this... I have to work out a way to share that will keep it less problematic for me to post.