Jump to content
Ballet Talk for Dancers
Boydancermom

How to deal with instructor threats?

Recommended Posts

Pensive

I think I would get together with the one studio about their floors and their future plans. If the split happened quite suddenly, they may be in temporary quarters and might not want to invest in the time and expense of sprung floors for a few months. Or, if they signed a short-term lease, the landlord might not allow it. We're actually in the process of changing locations, and construction on the new space is taking a lot longer than initially thought.

Share this post


Link to post
Boydancermom

It turns out that it is a temporary space - although the split happened 3 years ago and not sure how long the temporary situation will last - but nonetheless our son didn't click with the instructor and the students were all much younger than he was (I'm sure that some of it was the poison between his old studio and this new one - both publicly hiss at each other). Since he is the only boy - I think he is more sensitive to the group being one that he feels comfortable in. He also was only able to get 7.5 hours of training there a week (plus a private a week) which the instructor acknowledged wasn't enough but she wouldn't let him take classes at other studios.

 

So - we are now doing the "patchwork" approach to dance training: he is going to 3 studios (including his old studio to his favorite instructors that wasn't involved in the drama) and two other studios to get instruction every day except Sunday - around 15 hours a week. It's not ideal but it will have to work until he goes away to a residential school hopefully sooner than later. No male classes or instructors combined with going to school 9 hours a day (including transportation) and 3 to 4 hours of dance instruction some nights doesn't give him much time for homework, so his grades are suffering. The seamless school/dance option just seems like the better option all the way around and he says he is ready now.

Share this post


Link to post
Boydancermom

Just wanted to provide an update in case it helps any other parents in the future. Our son (14) got away from the possesive, spatting studios and has been focusing on getting instruction from 2 female instructors that he likes very much and has shown improvement and has a good social network (although he is the only male dancer). One studio (which in many ways he prefers) is nearly an hour away so that makes commuting more difficult. Although he still takes lessons from his original studio, sadly, the instructor that ignited his passion is no longer talking to him because I called him out on his threats to our son (which ended up to be more than threats because he actually did take away his scholarship when he performced with a professional company). How childish and sad......

 

But, given the issue with him trying to balance academic school and dance, the lack of any other male dancers for comraderie and to "spur him on", he has decided to go away to a ballet school with solid men's program. Housing turned out to be fairly easy to sort out and he starts on Jan. 4. I'm sure there will be times (probably more than I anticipate) where I wish he was still home and I would happily drive him for hours to class every night if need be) but there are sacrafices to be made. This became clear to him when he recently danced with a professional company for a show - he learned so much for being around them and had "in real life" male role models.

 

I hope it's a good fit! And I feel like now I can take a step back and breath easier knowing that one place/person is "in charge" of helping him to achieve his goals.

Share this post


Link to post
Noodles

Best of luck Boydancermom! I know this has been a tough issue, I wish you and your son the best in his transition to another program.

Share this post


Link to post
rosetwirl

Yes, all the best to you and your ds, Boydancermom! I know you've had a harrowing beginning to your ballet journey and hope the good outweighs the bad from here on out.

Share this post


Link to post
Boydancermom

Thanks all! We are at the school right now sorting out housing and our son is getting his level and meeting instructors. So far, so good. The good news is that we know the pros and cons of the school as we know many dancers who have come and gone from here. All good since I think it's important to have the right expectations going into it.

 

He's very excited! And I'm excited and sad all at the same time. :sweating:

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...