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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Teacher troubles


Pumpkin

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We have danced with the same teacher since my daughter was 6 she is now 13. The last 2 years her teacher has been bringing her personal problems to the studio. She will give my daughter a correction and if she doesn't or can't fix because she doesn't understand she wil make a comment to my daughter something like your not worth it. She was Clara in the nutcracker. I just don't understand why she feels it necessary to tear my daughter down. My daughter doesn't want me to say anything but I just can't let this go. Feeling helpless

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If it's not a healthy place for your daughter emotionally/mentally, I would move her asap. I didn't do that for my daughter and made her stay longer than I should have. It wasn't as overt as your situation, but it wasn't healthy for her. She nearly quit ballet completely, but eventually went back to ballet at a different studio, and is slowly "recovering" from the whole situation. I just wish I had listened to what she **wasn't** saying & let her leave the old studio sooner.

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I left my DD at a studio much too long with a teacher that was personally hurtful. She was just cruel. It caused a great deal of emotional damage. It has taken a gentle hand to heal some of the confidence issues. A new teacher and new studio and a year and a half later, DD is starting to heal.

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We also had a teacher at a very small town studio who's behavior was deteriorating. She became very demeaning in talking with the kids, tried pitting them against each other, humiliated them in front of the class, etc.. We put up with it for quite a while, feeling badly for those on her "bad list". She was a terrible gossip and manipulator. It wasn't until she started picking on my daughter that we decided enough was enough, and we found another studio. My dd was sooo happy when we left! It was the right thing to do.

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Depending on your other options, you should consider leaving if you can. If my DDs had told me the things a particular instructor said to them at the time it happened and not months after moving to another studio, I would have approached the company leadership and recommended this teacher's resignation. Some things should not be tolerated and all too often the poor treatment of students is excused as an artistic temperament.

 

A thick skin is necessary in a highly competitive environments but common sense and decency determines where that line should be.

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My daughter was at her first pre-professional studio for 10 years. The teacher told her she would never amount to anything. Girls left class crying all the time. Mothers sat in the hall to monitor what was happening. By the time we left, she was at her most emotionally vulnerable, depressed and emotionally destroyed. It is 10 years later and she still does not want to go to the studio, could not even drive by it for many years. Leaving was a difficult but blessed decision. She is now a professional ballet dancer with a full company contract. So glad that even during those difficult years, she knew what she wanted and was willing to push on despite a lack of confidence.

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My DD also left a very unhealthy studio suffering from depression and low self esteem amount other things. Took 5 years to get her out of there, but after seeing what healthy training looks like she is flourishing and growing. So happy we left.

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now 17yo DS left a studio due to an emotionally manipulative AD. It took me a few months to stop making excuses for her and I wished I had acted sooner. He refused to enter a studio for several months and it took a kind and wise teacher to get him back on track. Run, don't walk.

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